A Very Glittery Challenge
by FSoG Fanfic Obsessed
Summary: 16 one-shots, written by 16 different fanfic authors, based off of a story prompt voted by the members of the group FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.
1. Information

. **  
This is for another writing challenge.  
Unlike the last contest, this one was open to everyone.**

 **The following chapters will be one-shots written by different FF authors based off of a story prompt provided to those who participated.**

 **Story prompt provided was voted by group members;  
** ** _She showed up at his door, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter_** _ **.**_

 **We will reveal the pennames of the authors and announce the winner in our Facebook group;**  
 ** _FSoG Fanfic Obsessed_**

 **Just like with the last contest, the chapter with the most reviews will win this challenge.  
So review, review, review...**  
 **(Yes, you can review more than one entry.)  
And be sure to review the entries, not this first chapter.  
**

 ***No one is claiming ownership of Fifty Shades of Grey***

 **Happy Reading & Reviewing.  
And don't forget to join the group,  
 _FSoG Fanfic Obsessed_  
(link in profile)  
**

 **Laters,**


	2. Entry 1: 5scb0

. **  
** _ **ENTRY NUMBER ONE**_

* * *

 _ **~Glitter~**_

Anastasia Steele has known Mia Grey since they were freshmen in high school. They became inseparable and best friends since that first meeting in Mr. Kempt's first hour biology class over five years earlier.

Ana was an only child, but Mia had two older brothers who, at the time, were both away at college when Ana and Mia began their friendship. As close as the two girls were, Anastasia barely saw Mia's brothers since they were older, in college and moved out of the family home. Sure, she has seen them on occasion, like at events, but it was rare for them to strike up a conversation.

When the girls entered their junior year, they met a boy named José Rodriguez. They discovered that Ana's father knew José's father, serving together in the Army. José was obsessed with the girls, mainly Ana. He had a huge and inappropriate crush on her, but Ana only ever saw him as a friend. He thought a way to get to her was to make her jealous by dating her best friend, but instead of being jealous, Ana was happy for her friend. This made José angry.

José may have been with Mia for the wrong reasons, but Mia fell in love with him. They had sex once and Mia ended up pregnant and alone her senior year. José was a year older than the girls and left for Army boot camp to seemingly follow in his father's footsteps, but in reality, he was running from his responsibilities as a father. Thankfully for Mia, her best friend was there for her.

To this day, the girls help each other. Ana and Mia live together in an apartment near downtown Seattle that Mia's parents pay for. Neither girl had to pay rent, which was great for them. They both shared the responsibilities of chores, cooking and cleaning.

Mia finished high school, thanks to her parents and Ana's support, but she didn't attend college. She would rather be a hands-on mom, so instead of college, she went to work for her brother Christian.

Christian and Mia were always close, Mia was Christian's first word and for that reason, Mia named her daughter after him.

Today was the day of little Chrissy's 3rd birthday party. A fairytale themed party fit for a princess.

Christina just turned three and knew how to have everyone wrapped around her little finger, especially her auntie Ana and uncle Christian. It was going to be her wish this year when she blew out her candles on the three tiered cake. Her mommy always dreamed of having a sister and Anastasia Steele was the only one to fill that role. It was only recently that Christina discovered how that could happen. One of her uncles and her aunt Ana had to marry, like the prince and princesses in her fairytales.

Uncle Elliot had a new girlfriend every time Christian blinked, but uncle Christian has always been single.

The girls were busy putting everything together for Christina's big day. Ana was usually busy on the weekends with her new mystery job. She still had to work until late last night, but she came over the Greys' as soon as her shift ended. Mia needed help with the party prep and decorations before the guests of Christina's daycare arrived, and Ana was always there for her friend no matter what.

Nobody knew what Ana's weekend job was, Ana preferred it that way, but Mia knew it was to help pay for Ana's college because Ana's parents died in a car accident. It was the most tragic day of her life. Not expecting to die so young, the couple had nothing to leave Ana except for their bills. Ana sold most of what she could and used the money to go to college, but she couldn't go that far with what was left after double funeral costs. She was set to receive a scholarship but when her parents died, her grades slipped and she lost her full ride. It was Mia that helped Ana get her life back and under control.

With it now being a few minutes until guests were to arrive, it was crunch time. The girls were running around trying to have everything set up and ready, Grace suggested they hire a party planner because she has hosted many events before and knows what it is like, but Mia was insistent that her daughter know her mother did this for her, not some company that was hired.

Mia was setting up the gift table where guest would place their gifts. She made sure everything had just enough glitter. She knew glitter was a nightmare to get rid of, however, what was a fairy party without fairy dust, also known as, glitter. The doer of all evils.

Ana just finished setting up the dress-up table that was now covered with fairy wings and wands so the little girls could be fairies. She did not notice the puppy Mia's parents bought for Christina who was running loose. The dog was a birthday gift they gave to Christian last night but it would be staying at her grandparents house; no pets were allowed in Mia and Ana's apartment.

As Ana was walking back to the house to make sure all the food was ready, the dog ran in front of her and tripped her. Ana tried to prevent the fail, but there was no stopping it.

"Coco, no!" Mia scolded the dog, seeing what was happening, but it was too late.

The splash was heard from every angle of the yard. Ana had fallen into the pool.

She came up coughing and sputtering as she swam to the edge.

Once she was out of the pool, Coco was barking and jumping, wanting to play.

Ana backed away, not wanting the dog to do any more damage, but the puppy thought she wanted to play and jumped on her. This action caused Ana to bump into the gift table Mia just finished setting up, which also happened to be covered in hot pink and silver glitter.

Ana ended up falling onto her butt, with the glitter from the table falling along with her.

She was now soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter and the party was expected to start in half an hour.

"Ana, are you okay?!" Mia rushed to her friend's side.

"I'm fine," She was undoubtedly a little sore, but fine _._

"I'm so sorry, Ana." Grace came to her side as well and together both Mia and Grace helped Ana up.

Ana held her bicep so Grace looked her over. There was a small bruise forming, Ana easily bruised, but otherwise she was okay.

"I need to change." Ana announced.

"You can borrow anything from my room." Mia offered, still having a few items in her childhood bedroom.

"Thanks, Mimi."

Ana went into the house and hurried upstairs. Christina was still napping and would wake soon, along with guests arriving, so she had to hurry.

She was wet so it wasn't easy, walking on the marble flooring. She was slipping and sliding so she took off her flats. They weren't ruined but she wouldn't be able to wear them until they dried.

As Ana made her way upstairs to her best friend's room, she passed the bedroom of Mia's brother Christian. He arrived early so he could wrap the gift he purchased for his niece. If there was one person Christian Grey adored more than anyone it was Christina Grey. After Mia gave birth, Christina had uncle Christian wrapped around her little finger, he would do anything for her, including wrapping the gifts he personally bought for her so she knew they came from him and not his assistant. He would joke that the gift that looks to be wrapped by a blind T-rex was from him, and Christina loved it.

Before Ana could make it to Mia's room, that was next to his, Christian opened his childhood bedroom door. So it was like, she showed up at his door, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter.

No words were exchanged, Ana gave him a polite smile and quickly continued to Mia's bedroom without another delay. The party was scheduled to start soon, she didn't have much time.

She dug through her bag that she brought with her, having to work tonight, but nothing inside was appropriate for a child's birthday party. Her next option was to look through Mia's closet. The girls were almost the same size, Ana was a bit smaller but they were close enough to share things. The only major difference was their shoe size. Mia's shoes were all two sizes too big for Ana. The only flats Ana brought with her were the soaking wet ones in her hand, all other shoes packed were no less than 5 inch heels.

Ana grabbed a pair of heels from her bag. They were the least sexiest pair in the bag and it wasn't something she wanted to wear during a three year old's birthday party, but she had no other choice. Her only other option was to go barefoot and that too would've been inappropriate.

Next, she slipped into a baby pink dress, the closest dress should could find to suit Christina's princess fantasy birthday party. Then she sat on the bed put on the 5 inch bright pink sparkly heels.

After she was changed and dry, although still covered in the glitter she couldn't get off, Ana went back outside to help.

People were showing up now, mainly those from Christina's daycare center and family, Grace and Mia had cleaned up the mess made with the table so help was no longer needed and everything was ready to go. Thank goodness.

"Auntie Ana, wookie!" Christina twirled in her blue Cinderella dress. "Imma pwincess."

"You are!" Ana agreed with a bright smile.

The birthday party was a hit, all the kids had a blast and even the adults had fun. Mia couldn't have been happier that her little girl's special day went well.

It was now time for cake and ice cream.

Mia brought out a mini cake with three candles on it for Christina while Ana followed her out singing, _Happy Birthday To You_. Soon, everyone followed suit.

Christina was grinning throughout the entire song, and as soon as it was over, it time for the little girl to make her wish before blowing out her candle.

Mia and Ana was telling Christina all about making wishes before blowing out her birthday candles this year and Christina was determined to please her mommy. Her mother did a lot for her and, even as early as three, Christina was grateful. There was only one wish Christina wanted to come true, so she thought about it.

 _I wish mommy and auntie Ana were real sisters_.

On the count of three, Christina blew out the candles after making her wish, and everyone cheered.

Christina looked at her aunt who was smiling at her, holding a camera and waiting for her to blow out the candles. Christina then looked at her uncle Christian. She was surprised to see uncle Christian was already looking at her auntie Ana, admiring her in a way. _Maybe the wish already came true?_ But the truth was, this wasn't the first time Christian stared at Ana, but it was the first time he was caught.

What everyone didn't know, Christian had a crush on the beautiful brunette since their first meeting. His very first crush ever and he couldn't do anything about it. Anastasia was considered off limits to Christian because she was his sister's best friend. If things ended badly between them, he would feel like shit if it ended Mia and Ana's friendship too. So he steered clear of the brunette beauty who haunted his visions and dreams every night and day. She was all he could ever think about.

Christian Grey was a man who usually got everything he wanted, with the exception of Anastasia Steele, so it was hard for him to stay away. But that didn't stop him from drooling over her from afar.

He had to lock himself inside his room after seeing her soaking wet. He just finished wrapping Christina's gift and was about to go downstairs when Ana showed up at his door, her clothes sticking to her like a second skin and her nipples hard from her body temp dropping. He could tell she was cold from being wet and all he wanted to do was warm her up the best way he knew how. _Without their clothes on_. Instead he took care of his little, or I should say big problem himself. All while calling out his dream girl's name.

Christian had a difficult life, he was abused as a toddler and neglected by his birthmother, used and abused during his teenage years by a someone who clamed to be a family friend, and, until recently, his adult years too. They may have ended their sexual relationship long ago, but Elena Lincoln was still controlling Christian. It took him longer than it should to figure it out because he always believed she helped him and continued to look out for him, but as soon as he realized what has been happening, he ended everything to do with Elena Lincoln and ran her out of Washington.

He has been in therapy all his life, never taking it seriously, until now. He enjoyed the lifestyle, but for the wrong reasons. Dr. Flynn was helping him rediscover himself and it was working. Christian wanted to try a vanilla relationship with a girl but he didn't want just any girl. It would feel like he was betraying the one girl he really wanted that he could never have.

So instead, he stayed single and continued therapy.

After the party, Christian stayed to help clean up. In reality, he used it as an excuse to be near Anastasia. He loved his sister and his niece, but he often stopped by their apartment on the weekends to see them just to see her. But she was never there on weekends. Christian was too busy during the week, running a multibillion dollar company, so he was only free on weekends. He didn't know what Anastasia was doing every weekend, and Mia wouldn't say if she knew or not, not that Christian would directly ask but he did bring it up in casual conversation. Still, Mia never said what Ana was doing, just that she was working.

Christian had her background check, he knew she didn't work weekends, so he wasn't sure what she was doing. Today was Saturday, the weekend, and now that he has eyes on her, he is determined to find out what she's been doing on the weekends. He has already overheard her and Mia talking about it, about how Ana wouldn't be home until late tonight.

He watched as Anastasia gathered a duffle bag she brought with the night before, hugged Mia, kissed Christina and left.

Before she could get too far, Christian did the same; telling his loved ones goodbye and then left to follow her.

He had never followed anyone before, but he thought he was pretty good at it. She hadn't noticed anything unusual because he stayed far enough back and out of her sight, always in the opposite lane she was using, until she made a turn.

It wasn't until she pulled into a parking lot that he realized they were at their destination.

He watched as she grabbed her bag and walked inside using a back entrance instead of the main door. This confirmed what Mia told him, that Ana was working weekends. So whatever job she had, it must pay cash under the table. The was no job in her background check, only that she was a student at the University of Washington studying English Literature.

The building wasn't new, but he had never been here before, there were no clues as to what the place was on the outside so the only way to know would be to go inside. However, the main doors were locked. There was a sign with the hours listed that suggested it was a bar or some kind of night club, because it was only open after dinner and closing near 2am.

The only way to find out what this place was, meant Christian would have to wait until they opened so he could go inside. She had an advantage, knowing this place, but if she spotted him, he could say it was a coincidence. How was he to know she would be here?

A quick email to his IT department determined that this was in fact a club, but there was no other clues as to what type. It was all on the down low so not even the background check gave much about the place. The name being _Glitter_ gave nothing away. So perhaps she was just a waitress or a bartender of some sort to earn extra cash for school.

It was finally time for the doors to open, the parking lot was starting to fill up with early arrivals instead of the employees. Christian noted there were more male than female patrons, but he paid no attention. His main focus was on Anastasia Steele, whose car was still parked a few spaces away, which meant she was still inside.

Christian waited a few more minutes before he finally got out of his car and entered the club.

The floor looked like a damn disco ball, it was covered in glitter and it reminded him of her being covered in it earlier. I guess this is what they meant when they named the place Glitter.

At first glance, it looked just as any other club. That is, until he saw the poles placed strategically around the room.

This wasn't just any club, no, it was a strip club. And Anastasia, she worked here.

He rarely prayed, it did no good when he was younger, but he prayed that she had a job that kept her decent and covered. Not one of the many topless waitresses he saw already milling about. He looked at each, trying to see if it was her, but none were. _Thank fuck!_ Next he checked out the bartenders but they were all male. His last hope was she did something in the back and away from public view, but he knew deep down what she did here, so he kept his eye on the stage.

There were two dancers already dancing on either side of the stage. Neither was brunette and neither was Anastasia Steele.

This was definitely not his scene, but he took a seat in a dark corner of the room, as to not be seen, and watched the stage while occasionally glancing around the room trying to spot her.

Never in a million years did he ever expect this to be a job Anastasia Steele would have. She was beautiful, yes, but she was also very shy.

He sat in the back booth, nursing a cola as he waited to see her. He was starting to relax, thinking she had a job in the back and wouldn't come out at all, but as the night went on, the lights went down and the club became more and more crowded with perverted men. Himself included, he thought. There were young men, older gentlemen, and then the middle aged, family man types. They all acted like horny perverts around these women but they were respectful. Nobody wanted security to interfere, nobody wanted to be removed, so they all enjoyed the show.

With the lights now low and the club now full, the music turned up and more girls came out to dance. Taking their clothes off for money, dancing around the poles, on laps, in back rooms for private dances, all of them enjoying themselves as much as the men. Christian thought about going back outside to see if Anastasia's car was still out there because it was obvious she wasn't here.

Perhaps she doesn't work here after all and there was some other explanation as to why she would be here in the first place.

Christian stood, readying himself to leave, when the music changed again and the curtains opened to allow another dancer onto the stage. Right on cue, a petite blonde with hot pink highlights stepped out on the stage. All the dancers had a nice firm body, and this girl was no different. She was wearing a pink little number that looked to be covered in glitter that matched the highlights in her hair. But it wasn't her hair or what she was wearing that captured his attention, it was her heels, oddly enough.

Sparkling pink with a silver heel that looked like diamonds shining bright. He would recognize those heels anywhere, he just saw them hours earlier. They were the heels Anastasia changed into at Christina's birthday party. Yes, he noticed her heels at the party, he spent the better half of the party imagining them wrapped around him while he fucked the beauty they belonged to. The only problem, the blonde on stage was clearly not that beauty. That is, until he caught a glimpse of her face.

The blonde chick with the hot pink highlights _was_ Anastasia. She was wearing a wig.

It wasn't until she wrapped her leg around a pole that Christian realized what she was doing. And she knew what she was doing well, working that pole like a pro. But she doesn't know what she was doing to his head. She has the body of a goddess, the thong showing off her amazing, tight little ass well, and the tiny top leaving little to the imagination. And the glitter still on her body from earlier was sparkling in the light like a sign saying, look at me. She was a siren, and she was calling to him.

He has dreamed about seeing her body every night, but here, in the low light of the club, is definitely not what he ever imagined.

He was still standing, from when he was about to leave, but seeing her parading around the stage in a barely there pink glitter number had him storming up to her. He had to remember to play it cool, not wanting to be removed from the club by security. Fuck it, if he was leaving, she was going with him, security be damned. She may not be his, yet, but he did not like that fact that other men could see her like this. He was pissed and rightly so, he believed.

Anastasia was lost in her own little world, climbing the pole, spinning around, doing the crazy flips she learned, all but ignoring the patrons of the club, unlike the other dancers who threw themselves at the men. She knew that was how they got more tips, but she didn't want to degrade herself anymore than she already was, so instead, she did her thing and left. She paid no attention to any of the men surrounding the stage and refused to do private dances. She didn't want to feel their human reactions.

After her parents died and she lost her scholarship, Ana needed money for school. She was thankful to the Greys who got the girls an apartment in Seattle, but she knew she wouldn't be able to live off them forever. She had dreams, and she knew sooner or later she would find someone or Mia would find a guy and they wouldn't be living together anymore. They were only in their early 20s but she knew this arrangement wouldn't be a permanent situation. Sooner or later, the girls would grow up, meet the man of their dreams, and move out.

On her first day at UW, she was checking out a board that had pins of job openings. She knew what little money she had would run out soon and would need some kind of employment. That's when she met Candy, an exotic dancer at Glitter. Of course, she tried to find another job, not wanting to be a stripper, but with zero experience, no place wanted to hire her.

She was desperate. Sex sells, and taking off her top paid a lot of money, it would help her out a lot. She started her freshmen year and has been working at Glitter ever since. With only one more year left of school, she was planning on quitting. That is, when she found work in the field she wanted; publishing. Until then, she shook what her mama gave her.

She paid no attention to the men but she knew how to make good tips. Ana has gotten use to taking her clothes off in front of people, she's come a long way from when she first started. If she was being honest with herself, this job gave her confidence like never before. She now felt comfortable in her skin and being nude. She now thought it was a beautiful thing, like human art.

As she twirled around the pole, and men pulled out dollar bills, nothing higher than a five or ten, she continued her routine. It wasn't until she spied two fifties between his fingers that her attention was caught.

She carefully sat on the stage and moved to the edge, so her heeled feet were resting on his thighs. She made sure her toes were pressing on his thighs instead of the heels, as to not hurt him. Then she arched her back, making sure her covered pussy was near his view.

He slipped in a fifty on either side of her thong, then kept his hands on her waist.

With his hands now on her hips, she let him help her off the stage. Tipping her one hundred dollars deserved some kind of special treatment, right? So she began grinding on his lap.

Perhaps a personal view of her breasts would do nicely.

Just as she reached behind her back, to unhook her top, she looked up at him through her lashes and froze. It was Christian. As in, Mia's brother. Christian freaking Grey!

 _Shit!_

"Christian." She breathed his name, having no idea how he longed to hear that breathy tone aimed towards him. But in an entirely different surrounding, like in his bed.

"Anastasia." His deep baritone voice commanded attention. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I- I work here." She admitted with blush now adorning her cheeks, and slowly going down to the tops of her breasts. "What are you- What are you doing here?"

It was a rhetorical question, she knew why men came to a place like this. And if the bulge in his jeans was anything to go by, she knew why he was here as well. He came to enjoy the show.

"Get dressed." He said through his teeth, now glaring hard at the poor girl.

"Aren't you having a good time?" She joked as she swiveled her hips, making contact with his erection again. "It sure seems like it to me."

He gripped her hips tightly and tried, tried so desperately hard with everything he could, to not buck his hips up to meet hers. He barely managed to seem unaffected by the beauty grinding on his lap. Of course his erection was evident and hard to hide so she knew he was affected by her. Who wouldn't be.

"I'm not kidding, Anastasia." And he was serious. "Get your stuff, we're leaving."

"I'm working." She couldn't just leave mid-shift.

"I don't give a fuck if you're working, get your shit, get dressed, we're leaving."

Instead of arguing with him, she jumped off his lap and stomped off back stage.

Christian didn't care that she was upset, or that she was loosing money, all he cared about was getting her out of there before anyone else saw her body. As much as he wanted a view of her pert breasts, he didn't want the other men to see them. She could make up whatever excuse she needed to take the rest of the night off, hell, a better option would be for her to quit permanently. _Yes, yes, she would definitely be quitting_.

While he waited, he wondered if she had been out earlier, stripping for all these men. He didn't notice her at first when she came out because she was wearing a wig, it was the heels that he recognized.

As each moment passed, and as he looked around the room at the men with smiles of content on their faces, he wondered which saw his Ana. His answer was obvious. All of them. This wasn't her first day either, so more than just these few men had seen her body. It seemed the girls didn't get completely naked, leaving their bottoms on, so at least there is that.

Before long, Anastasia was sitting in the passenger seat of Christian's R8 as he drove. He wouldn't let her drive, he didn't trust that she would leave. He was planning on taking her home, but she told him not to. She didn't want to explain to Mia, who had no idea her best friend was a stripper, that her brother caught her and dragged her out of the club like some sort of caveman. Thankfully he didn't throw her over his shoulder.

Christian contemplated where to go. They could have something to eat before he took her home, or they could go some place more private, like his home.

 _Escala it is_.

Ana had never been to his home before, so she took her time admiring the view, much like Christian was admiring a completely different view.

They sat and enjoyed a glass of wine while Anastasia explained why she was an exotic dancer. Christian offered her a job and at first she refused, but eventually she accepted. It would look much better on her resume than stripper, not that she would put that down at all. She didn't know how her boss would take the news of her leaving early, but he knew she wasn't going to stay after college.

The two talked as ease, like old friends, it was mainly stories about Christina. The pair adored their niece. They hadn't even realized the bottle of wine was empty.

Not wanting her to leave, Christian brought out another and soon that too was empty.

Now buzzed, with sexual tension stifling the air, the two gazed at each other, both wanting to admit their feelings, both not wanting to be rejected. But, with the help of the liquor encouragement, Christian was first to speak.

"I want you." He whispered.

"I've always wanted you." She admitted.

Their lips crashed together, their tongues fighting for dominance while they fumbled with their clothing.

Half way through undressing, Christian lead Anastasia to his bedroom, dropping an item of clothing as they went.

Walking her backwards towards his bed, he pushed her lightly so she fell onto his bed. Not long after, he followed her onto the bed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He checked, not wanting to take advantage of her.

"Please." She begged him. "I want you inside of me, I want to feel you, I've been dreaming about you taking me every night."

A deep animalistic growl came from within him.

"Fuck," He moaned. "Me, too, baby."

With the alcohol in their systems, it was easy to admit their feelings.

"But I don't want us to wake up tomorrow and regret this." His ever logical brain stepped in.

"No regrets." She promised.

And that's all he needed to hear.

He kissed every inch of her body, taking it slow and worshiping her.

She moaned when his mouth found her clit, the man knew what he was doing and he did it well.

Ana came for him, twice, and he lapped up every drop she gave him.

She was still bruised, still covered in glitter, but now she was wet for a totally different reason.

He loved how wet she was for him and couldn't wait any longer. He was painfully hard and needed a release.

There was no stopping him now, except...

"FUCK!"

"What?" She breathed, still coming down from the amazing orgasm he'd just given her. "What's wrong? What is it?"

"I don't have any condoms in here." He kept them upstairs but they were probably expired by now, it's been so long since he has used them.

"I'm on the pill." She told him. "I've never... I've never had sex before, I'm clean."

"Are you serious?"

"I want this, Christian, please tell me you are okay with this."

"Baby, I love that I'm your first," He said while lining himself up with her entrance,

"And I want to be your only." He finished as he pushed himself inside her warm, wet center.

"Oooh, yes." She moaned at both the feeling of being full and his words.

Christian pulled out slightly, only to push back in. He was being slow and gentle, not his usual style, but he wanted this to last.

Ana soon match his rhythm and the pair because thrusting harder and harder, going faster and faster.

The room was filled with the sound of their lovemaking, their primal lovemaking. Moans and groans, grunts and heavy breathing.

Christian swiveled his hips into her, causing her to scream out.

"Christian!"

"Cum, baby." He commanded her, needing her to cum before he did.

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY-" Ana chanted as she came so hard.

Christian exploded moments later as her pussy continued to squeeze him, milking him of all he had.

It was the most amazing sex. Neither could barely move.

He fell beside her, and pulled her into him as he inhaled her intoxicating scent.

As they lay, snuggled together, Christian noticed some of the glitter on her body rubbed off on him. _So fucking hot!_

She turned her head so she could look at the beautiful man behind her. Lifting her lips, and with him leaning down to capture them, they began kissing again. This time it was at a slower pace than earlier.

With his hands still wrapped around her, and hers holding his arms, they continued making out in his bed.

Slowly his hand began to move south until he found her soaking wet core.

She moaned into his mouth and moved her ass against his front, squirming at her clit being so sensitive. Upon doing this, she discovered that he was hardening.

"Again?" She asked, begging for more against his lips.

"You don't have to ask me twice." He responded, opening her legs and slipping his now fully erect penis inside of her.

"I want you, always." He moaned at the thought.

"You have me." She purred back. "Always."

They would, from this day forward, be inseparable. Christina would be happy to know that her wish came true, and Mia would be happy for her brother and best friend.

And to think, this day all started with her showing up at his door, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter...

* * *

 **The End**


	3. Entry 2: Grey Girl 1989

.  
 **ENTRY NUMBER TWO**

* * *

 _ **~GREY GLITTER~**_

 **Christian's pov**

I knew this was a bad idea.

I said over and over again that I was not comfortable with this but would anyone listen to me? No.

I am pacing back and forth and I don't know what to do.

My natural instinct is to go there, grab her and get her the hell out of there but I know my family would give me hell.

It has been a major sore spot for weeks now. Ever since Katherine " _Fucking can't keep her mouth shut_ " Kavanugh opened her God damn mouth!

The ring was barely on her finger when Kate said the words that lead to this night.

 ** _"Steele, I am going to throw you the mother of all bachelorette parties!"_**

I protested. A lot. But I could not get my own way.

Why did she want one of these parties? I had a few beers and cigars with my brother, father and Ethan. I wanted Ana to maybe have a spa day but oh no! Princess Kate wanted, In her words "The mother of all blow outs"

Ha! If you want a blow out Kate then suck my brothers dick to the root but don't take my girl on a girls gone wild night out one fucking week before our wedding!

It's now after 2am and Ana is still not home.

I texted her and when I didn't get a reply I called Sawyer and he told me that the barracuda bitch AKA Kate, had taken her phone at the beginning of the night.

I know my girl is in Seattle but that's all I know.

Ana made Taylor promise that I would not keep tabs on her all night.

All I know is that Ana, Kate, Mia, My mom, Gail, Andrea, Ros, Gwen, Claire from SIP and a few of Ana and Kate's friends, left Escala today wearing pink teeshirts that said "Ana's last night of freedom tour 2011"

What do they think I am going to do when we say our vows? Chain her up and never let her see the light of day again?

I can't take this anymore.

"Taylor!" I shout and he rounds the corner from his apartment with a fucking smirk on his face.

"Yes, Sir"

"Enough is enough! Where the fuck is my soon to be wife. Where the fuck has she been all night? What the fuck has she been doing all night and why the fuck is she not home yet!"

"I am not at liberty to say, Sir"

"What in the ever loving fuck? I pay you! I am your boss and I asked you a question now fucking answer me!"

"Sorry, Sir. I have orders from the big boss"

"Big boss? I am the mother fucking big boss! Who are you talking about?"

"Gail, Sir. She made me promise that I would not interfere in Ana's night otherwise she would..." He actually blushes like a girl.

"She would what?"

"Tie my balls to the wall, Sir"

"Oh" I cringe.

I know Gail and Ana have gotten very close since we have been together. Ana's mom is a waste of space that could not be bothered to come out tonight even though I offered to send my jet.

Gail has become like a second mother to Ana and I know she is very protective of Ana.

"OK. Balls to the wall, I get it. They are coming home tonight though?"

"Yes, Sir. In fact I spoke to Sawyer about an hour ago and the limo was dropping off the other ladies so they should be home soon"

"Well why the fuck did you not tell me this before!"

He raises his eyebrow at me in a silent message.

"Yeah, yeah. Balls to the wall"

I dismiss him and as he walks away I swear I hear him laugh.

At almost 3am I hear the ding of the elevator and then the door opens.

Ana comes stumbling out and falls over landing on her ass with a drunken giggle.

She's Soaking wet, Bruised and covered in glitter.

What the fuck?

"Chris...Chris..." Hicup "Chris...Helloooo Mr Gwey"

Shes completely intoxicated.

I walk over to her and help her up.

"Ana? Why do you have bruises on your hands and why are you wet and glittery?"

"Yous like me wet Mr Gwey" She snickers and then kisses me.

She smells and tastes like strawberry vodka.

I pick her up and take her to the sofa where I sit her down.

"Ana, where are Sawyer and Gail? Did they not come up with you?"

Shes so drunk but she is an adorable drunk.

"I...I...made them take the service..Ele...Ele...Elebrator cus I wanted to..to...fuck you on first sight" She grins at me and with the glitter on her face she actually looks like a drag queen version of the Joker from Batman.

Her hair is all over the place and when I inspect her more closely I see that her knuckles are bruised but I don't think anything is broken.

I look at her hair more closely as see that she has confetti shaped likes dicks in her hair.

"Ana, what happened to you tonight? What happened to your hands?"

She looks at her hands and has to bring them closer to her face to focus.

"I punched a bitch" she tells me innocently.

"You punched someone? Who?

She falling asleep so I shake her gently.

"Ana! Who did you punch?"

"I punched someone?...Oh, yeah! I members...Slapped in the face...with a dildo" She mumbles and tries to fall back asleep.

"WHAT! Ana! Focus!"

I run into the kitchen and make some espresso.

When I get back to the main room and see Ana I drop the Espresso all over the floor.

"What in the hell is that!?"

Ana has removed her teeshirt leaving her in only her tiny shorts and bra.

On her torso, someone has drawn in what looks like a sharpie maker, a giant dick!

Ana is laying with her legs wide open, slumped back while she traces the dick with her finger.

"What the fuck is that?"

"S'my dick" She giggles.

"Wait there while I make you a coffee to sober you up and then I want to know everything"

"Yes, Sir. Mr Grey Sir" She salutes me and then starts laughing again.

I can't help but smile at her. Even though she is wasted she is still adorable and sexy.

I quickly make her a big black coffee but when I go back into the main room she is gone.

"Ana?" I look around and see her shoe on the stairs and then further up is her other shoe.

I follow her shoes and then find her bra on the floor outside the playroom.

"Ana?"

When I open the door I find her stood by the chest of drawers with a dildo pressed to the drawing of the dick on her stomach. Its the clone of my own dick that we made a few days ago.

"What are you doing?"

"Supposed to be your dick but mine is ugly!" She actually starts crying and then throws the dildo down.

"Ana, here. Drink this" I actually hold the coffee to her lips and it takes me almost ten minutes to get her to drink it all and sober up a little.

I place her on the chesterfield couch and start interrogating her.

"Ana, why are your hands bruised? Why are you covered in glitter? Why are you wet? Why do you have a dick drawn on you and who did you punch?"

"Christian?" She looks at me like she is just now understanding where she is.

"Yes its me. Can you tell me what happened tonight?"

"Nope. It was girls night. No boys loud" She grins at me and then moves so she is straddling me.

"I want sex"

"You're too drunk"

"No I'm not. Let me show you" She smiles and then kisses me.

She starts to shimmy down and then she clumsily pulls down my sweat pants and boxers.

"Thats what I was talking bout! Bestest Dick like Ever!"

She plunges her mouth down onto my dick and starts sucking hard.

"Whoa! Ana!...Holy Christ!"

I know I should stop her because she is drunk but its the best blow job I have ever had!

She starts to slow down and then she just stops.

When I open my eyes and lift my head I find her fast asleep with my dick still in her mouth.

Great!

I gently pick up my little drunkard and take her down to our room. I remove the rest of her clothes and then put her to bed.

Looks like I will have to wait for the story until she has slept this off.

* * *

 **THE NEXT AFTERNOON.**

"Ughh...Oh God...My head..." Ana starts mumbling and then quick as a flash shes out of bed and running for the bathroom where I hear her throwing up which she has been doing on and off all night.

I help her and then she washes her mouth out and I help her back into bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Is that a trick question? I feel like I've been hit with a truck"

"Do you remember last night?"

She starts to think and her face changes from a look of confusion to horror and then she starts laughing.

"Ana, I was very patient with you last night but I want answers!"

She rolls her eyes and then gets more comfortable in bed.

"What do you want to know, Grey?"

"Why are your hands all bruised? Why were you soaking wet last night? Why were you covered in glitter? Who did you punch and why the fuck do you have a dick drawn on you?"

"Well last night me and the girls went for a wonderful meal in a private room at Canlis that your mom organized and then we...um...went to that new Magic Mike bar by the market"

"YOU WENT TO A MALE STRIP JOINT?"

"Christian, its more like a dance group"

"Did you see their dicks?" I am fuming.

"Um...well, I saw one but only quickly"

"What the fuck Ana!"

"Oh Calm down. It's not like I gave him a handjob. We watched a few dancers and the drinks were flowing. When your Mom was getting a lapdance we had..."

I jump out of bed.

"What do you mean my Mom was getting a lapdance?!"

"Christian, do you want to hear this story or not?"

I grit my teeth and get back in bed.

"Continue"

"Thank you. As I was saying, your Mom was getting a lapdance and when I say lapdance, I mean she was sat in a chair and some guy in a thong was dancing around her, not touching her and she was handing him $1s. We were all having a great time and then all the girls handed me gifts. Someone, who shall remain nameless got me a ...um..."

The soberer she is getting the more of my shy Ana peaks out.

"Um, someone gave me a dildo. A really big one. Like...20 inches long"

"You are not using that!"

"I don't want to because number one, Ouch and number two, it was a gag gift. Ha, gag gift! Now I get it" She laughs and then when she sees I am getting mad she stops.

"So My mom was getting lapdance and you had just been given a two foot long dick. Then what?"

"Me and Gail went to the bathroom and after I had finished peeing I came out the stall and Elena was waiting for me"

"What? Where was Sawyer?"

"In the limo where I made him stay after he had checked the club out"

"Why did you make him stay outside?"

"Because I wanted to enjoy myself and let loose and how embarrassing would it be for Sawyer to see me get gifts like handcuffs and dildos? It was bad enough your Mom saw it but come on, Christian. I am with Sawyer day in day out and I didn't want him to see all the sexy underwear my friend bought me"

I don't want him looking at that either so she made the right choice.

"What did Elena say to you?"

"She was basically harping on about how I was no good for you and blah blah blah. I lost it and I punched her. She fell down and when she got back up" Ana stops because she starts laughing her head off and its another five minutes before she has calmed down.

"Oh God my ribs. When..When she got back up...Gail came out of nowhere and smacked her across the head with the two foot long dildo!" She starts laughing again and this time I join her.

Go Gail!

"Christian, you should have seen her face. Gail told her to get lost other wise she would ram the dildo so far down her throat that it would come out the other end and she would be fucking and sucking at the same time"

"Gail said that? My Gail?"

"Pretty sure she is Taylor's Gail but yeah she said that. She was pretty drunk at that point. Anyway, Elena left before anyone else could see her"

Like my Mom. That would have been one hell of a clusterfuck.

"Now the glitter and why you were wet"

"The dick comes first"

"Excuse you!"

"This" She traces the sharpie dick on her torso.

"Kate said that I was practically attached to your dick because according to her we are always doing it"

"Well shes got that right"

"We played this game where we had to try to draw our guys dicks. Thank God your Mom sat that one out because Mia said she would faint if her Mom started drawing your Dad. Ros also sat it out because she said dicks were gross. We were all pretty hammered at this stage so and I was a bit off and even though you have a mega dick, I added like an extra five inches to it. Then Kate had the bright idea for me to always have your dick even when I'm not with you so she traced my picture out on my belly"

"Thats supposed to be my dick?"

I inspect it more and its almost as wide as it is long and its only got one really big ball!

"I was really drunk at that point" Ana tells me when she see's my frown.

"As soon as you finish this story I am taking you in the shower and I am rubbing this dick off of you"

"Kinky" Ana giggles.

"So we have covered why you are bruised and why you have a drawn on dick. What about the glitter and the water?"

She looks uncomfortable and then takes my hand.

"I want you to remember that I love you and it was not my fault"

"What did you do?"

"Mia and Kate...made me get a lapdance. The guy was covered in glitter and he...um...kinda rubbed up against me and it transferred onto my skin"

"You're smothered head to toe!"

"It's not all from rub off. He was dressed like a fairy princess for some reason and most of the glitter was from his magic wand"

"That better not be a metaphor!"

"It's not. He was very nice and not at all pushy and he had most of his clothes on. Well, he was wearing hot pants and a boob tube with fairy wings"

"I thought male strippers were supposed to be like firemen or policemen?"

"I guess because my theme was kinda Disney princess he thought he would be like a fairy from sleeping beauty" She shrugs.

"OK so we are almost there. Last question. Why were you all wet?"

"Because Mia and I fell into your moms pond"

"You were at my parents last night?"

"I went in to use the bathroom when the limo dropped your mom and Mia off and then Mia insisted she help me because I was drunk but she was more drunk and we ended up in the pond. I'm not really sure what we were doing down there"

"You do know that you could have gotten really hurt last night?"

"I was fine, baby. I have a great group of friends and they were all looking after me. I know I had a lot to drink but it was my last hurrah"

She snuggles down and lays on my chest.

"Last hurrah? Just because we are getting married I still want you do be able to have fun with your friends, Ana"

"As long as my best friend is there then I will have fun"

"Kate?"

"You. You're my best friend Christian. I love you and even though I enjoyed myself last night, I missed you so bad. Not being able to text you or speak to you was hell. I can't wait to be Mrs Grey"

"And I can't wait for you to be Mrs Grey. One more week" I kiss her and snuggle down with her.

We sit quietly for a few minute and then she starts belly laughing.

"Whats so funny?"

"I just remembered. Do you remember my friend I introduced you to yesterday called Becky?"

"The blond?"

"Yeah. When we were drawing pictures of the dicks she confessed the last person she slept with was Jose and when she drew his dick she basically just dotted the paper and said "Took me the same amount of time to draw his dick as it did for him to cum"

When she tells me I almost fall off the bed with laughter.

"I knew he was dickless"

"Did you know you are not normal?"

"What do you mean?"

"There was like twenty strippers there last night. Most were walking around in thongs and not that I was looking but not one of them filled them out half as good as you fill out your boxers. What I am trying to say is you have a huge dick"

"Thanks. I think. My dick is not to happy with you at the moment though."

"Why?"

"Because last night you started sucking me half to death and then you fell asleep with the head in your mouth"

"Noooooo"

"Yep. Got me all hot and bothered and then left me hanging"

"Sorry about that. How about you join me in the shower, then we can grab some food because I am starving and then we will spend the rest of the day in bed with me making it up to you?"

"Sounds like a plan, Baby"

Little did they know but that wild night changed the rest of their lives.

Because Ana was drunk and hung over the next moring she forgot her pill.

Because she forgot her pill, that morning when they were getting hot and heavy in the shower, They conceived their son, Teddy.

A few years later Christian walked into their bedroom at the house on the sound and suddenly started throwing glitter on Ana.

When she asked him what he was doing, he told her that the last time he washed glitter off of her they made their beautiful son.

This was his way of saying he wanted Blip number 2.

 **THE END**


	4. Entry 3: Jeanne Pawliczki

. **  
ENTRY NUMBER THREE**

* * *

Why do people always say ..."New Year's Eve is suppose to be a happy great partying time". Saying goodbye to the old and welcoming the new. For Anastasia Rose Steele, there was nothing happy or special to party about let alone looking forward to "A Happy New Year." There was a time where she would have said, she was the happiest person to be so cared for and loved by a guy named Christian Grey. He had changed her just by being with him one night. Now her heart was shattered in a million pieces. She tried not to show it on the outside but inside her heart was totally crushed. She met Christian Grey on a blind date at the end of her college days at WSU. Every girl/woman wanted him. He of course was the most wealthiest eligible handsome bachelor a girl would dream of. His brother, Elliot Grey who is going with my best friend Kate Kavanagh had been bugging me to accept a blind date with him. News Flash: Christian Grey multi billionaire dating Anastasia Steele "The bookworm"...I do not think so. Why would he even be interested in little ole Annie from Montesano. Where as Kate and I are complete opposites. Every guy was interested in dating her. She was switching guys every weekend. Her motto.."Just For Fun". That was until one night she met Elliot Grey in a disco. A one nighter turned into many more until they decided to make it ofﬁcial. "Kate and Elliot are a couple." I know Kate like the back of my hand. We had been best friends all through college and shared a little apartment near the campus. Our plan was always when we ﬁnish studying to get an apartment together in Seattle. Kate was the lucky one. Had parents who always paid for her. So I did most of the cooking and cleaning, Kate would burn even eggs. Maybe some day she would take a cooking class because sure, Elliot loves to eat. They can not always live on take out. Sure we had plenty of nights eating take out and just lounging around watching a good ﬂick on TV. If Kate went out I was happy to stay home and just cuddle up with a good book. Our close friend since college Jose Rodriguez always wanted to take me out. How many times I told him "I am not interested. "Get it..." "We are just friends". If Kate won from repeating come on Ana you just have to come out with us. Then I ﬁnally gave in and went out in a crowd. Sure I love listening to music it puts me in the mood then I just want to get up and dance. Deﬁnitely do not need a partner to have fun. I was happy and content by myself. No one to hurt me. No one to tell me what to do. My step Dad Ray always taught me to be independent. Finally after Elliot and Kate begging me I agreed to go out on this blind date. Kate was the expert for fashion. When she saw something she new, it looked perfect on her. I was happy wearing tight jeans and a T shirt. She picked out my outﬁt for the date. A tight black cocktail dress that hugged to my waist to show my curves, it was low cut in the back, the length was right above my knee. The dress made me feel fantastic. Kate said, Ana you are a "knock out" in this dress. You can keep it. It looks so much better on you than me. I hugged Kate and said thank you. She lent me a pair of black christian louboutin high heels. Of course a matching black clutch. Kate styled my chestnut long wavy hair, and added a black with diamond comb to hold my hair in place on one side. The plan was that I was to meet him at a restaurant of his choice which was at "The Heathman Hotel" in Portland. I ﬁgured even if the date did not go so good at least I would have a decent meal tonight. My plan was not for me to get my hopes up to high after reading about him I am sure this date will be just a one time thing. Elliot made sure that Christian had a photo of me and Kate gave me one of Christian. This way we would recognize each other at the restaurant. Kate lent me her Mercedes to drive over. She was never happy me driving my VW Beetle. Driving there it was great having GPS. I was so happy they had valet parking so I did not have to worry about looking for a parking space. Walking in these high heels was dangerous enough for me. I just hoped not to trip over my on feet tonight and embarrass myself. I walked into the restaurant bar to look for Christian. Before I even noticed him I felt a chill going through my body. I looked over to the bar and there he was standing looking right at me. He was the most handsome well dressed stunning guy I had ever seen. He was gorgeous. The photo I had, did him no justice. He slowly walked over to me and held out his hand, and I reached out my  
hand to him. Automatically I felt a electric shock wave go through my hand and I think he felt it too. While still holding my hand he said, Hi, I am Christian Grey. I said Hi, I am Anastasia Steele but my friends call me Ana. Well Ana he said, it is pleasure to meet you. He made me smile by saying that. Come, I have a nice table for us to be alone so we can get to know one another. He pulled out my chair to sit, was a complete gentleman. He asked what I would like to drink. I told him I was not sure if I should drink alcohol since I drove here. He said, you could have a white wine spritzer that has not so much alcohol. But then he surprised me and said or you could leave your car just here and stay with me. I have a room here at the hotel . I was shocked when he said that. The nerve of him to come out and say that to me we just met. Then I thought of course any girl would jump at the chance. He probably thinks that I would just go with him. I bet he has no idea who I really am. Wonder what Elliot said about me. So I thought to myself, I will play his game. I answered by saying "what do I get out of staying here". He said "Me" I told him you can order me the wine spritzer, he smirked, and said "good choice". Then he asked what I would like to eat. I told him he could order for me. He smiled, and said ok. The waiter came over and asked what we wanted to order the whole time staring at me. It looked like Christian did not like that. He made sure the waiter then looked away. Christian ordered for both of us. I was impressed with is choice. Of course the best of everything. It was the ﬁrst time I felt so special. He asked me a little bit about myself. So I told him that I was graduating just like Kate from WSU in a few weeks. That my major was English Literature. He sounded very much interested. He told me that he was thinking about buying a publishing company. So I told him that we have plans moving to Seattle after graduation. He smiled and said, I live in Seattle. What part? I told him The Pikes Market District. He said, wow I live very close by. I would really look forward to showing you around. I thought that was so nice of him. He kept looking at my face. He said, you have the most beautiful sparkling blue eyes almost like the ocean. I think my face turned pink by that compliment. Christian really new how to charm me. It was like reading a section from one of my novels. I was starting to really like him. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would fall for a guy just by meeting him. But Christian Grey blew my mind. I feel like I am dreaming. Please someone, "pinch me". He looked over to me and it was like he was reading my mind. I think tonight is the night I will be a changed woman. Anything that he says or wants from me I would do. I, Anastasia for once in her life is going to let go..."Just Have Fun"...Christian and I enjoyed a delicious dinner roasted leg of lamb with scalloped potatoes and a vegetable medley. In between I started drinking wine with him. Did not realize there was no water until after a few glasses. He asked if I wanted dessert and I told him that I was full. What do you want to do now Anastasia? I said I want to see your room. He was a little bit stunned but then smiled, and said..."COME". He took me by the hand and we left the restaurant. We walked into the lobby and waited for the elevator. He was holding my hand and rubbing my knuckles. Just the touch of him holding my hands I was melting. By the time the elevator came. I was putty in his presence. Not sure if it was from the wine or just Christian himself. Wondered if he felt the same. He must have tons of woman he did this with. I had to block that out of my brain. The elevator came and I saw there was a seat in it. So I went to sit down. I felt like I was going to pass out. He knelt down by me and asked me if I was alright. I said I think I had too much wine. He started to feel my head if I was ok. Christian asked if I was dizzy. I told him a little bit. He helped me up and and then picked me up and was holding me bridal style. The elevator stopped and he carried me out towards his room. He opened the door and brought me over to his bed. I just sat there. I thought to myself. Is this what I really want. "Yes" it sure is...So Christian brought me a glass of water and a aspirin to take. I told him thank you that was very thoughtful of you. It took effect right away because all of a sudden I could not keep my eyes open. It was like I had a blackout. The next thing I new I was in bed with a T Shirt on. At ﬁrst I lost count of where I was. Then I remembered having dinner with Christian. I looked  
over to the other side of the bed and there was Christian sound asleep. I was not sure if I should just get dressed and leave or should I just wait and see what would happen. I decided to take my chance. He was a perfect gentleman so caring for me tonight. So I just laid there thinking. I have never been kissed or touched my whole life. I only had my wet dreams from reading my books. Here next to me is the most handsome man I have ever saw. Would love to run my ﬁngers through his wavy hair. His body is perfect like "Adonis". No wonder why all the woman want him. Would he ever be interested in a girl like me. All of sudden Christian started moaning and tossing and turning. He became louder, it sounded like he was screaming and running from something. I was not sure what I should do so I went over to his side of the bed and started saying Christian wake up your dreaming but there was no response so I tried again nope no response, so I took him in my arms and just started rubbing his shoulders ﬁnally he calmed down. He took me in his arms and held onto me for dear life. It was the ﬁrst time someone touched me. I felt so loved. I was afraid of waking him up. So I laid there very still with him. He seemed calmer. Christian Grey was holding, I, Anastasia Steele in his bed. I wonder how he would feel about that in the morning. I just laid there listening to him breathe slowly in and out in and out, ﬁnally I could not keep my eyes open any longer and fell asleep. I felt so warm and snuggled next to him. Like that's the way it should always be. I did not want that to ever end. But all good things come to an end. Here I was ﬂoating on cloud nine. The next morning Christian woke up and saw me laying next to him. I think he panicked seeing me so calm and relaxed. My whole body was completely showing some how I was laying over the blankets. Christian was staring at me. I thought he would want to touch me. I had the feeling the whole time. He surprised me and kissed me. Wow, what for a kiss for my ﬁrst time. So warm and passion in it. I then grabbed his face and kissed him back. He looked to me to see if I liked kissing him and I smiled. He said, how are you feeling, I said much better. Thank you for taking good care of me. Then I got up the nerve to ask him, if he undressed me. He said. "YES" I could not have you sleeping in that tight dress all night. You would not have been too comfortable. So when you fell asleep I took your dress off and had my eyes covered. I rolled my eyes at him and said really you did not peak. He smirked, and said maybe a little. Christian then shocked me and said, I had the most beautiful body a man would want to worship. I was in complete AWE He said, you don't think you are pretty. I shook my head and said "No". He picked me up and brought me over to the mirror in the room and said. Look Ana, You Are The Most Gorgeous Woman To Me! I just melted in his arms. I had so hoped that the morning would never end. I had a feeling this was all new to him. He started getting more and distant after that. I was trying to ﬁgure out if I scared him by kissing him. Here I thought, I would leave this room not being a virgin anymore. But Christian changed in a matter of seconds. He made an excuse that he had to go to a breakfast meeting. So I did not know what else to do so I just took my clothes and went into his bathroom to get changed. After I came out I saw that he too was fully dressed. He asked me if I was hungry. I told him no, that it is ok I'll go now if your busy. He said, Ana I had the best time of my life being with you. I will never forget it. I said, me too Christian. You made a very special night for me to always remember. Thank you. I wish you a happy life. I grabbed my stuff so quick to leave so he would not see me crying. For the ﬁrst time in my life I had feelings for a guy and no other than Christian Grey. Months have past since that night I never heard from him again. My heart was broken. I had thought that I meant something to him. After that morning. I was never the same. Kate and Elliot wanted to know how my date was with Christian. All I could say was... "A Date To Always Remember". I never told them what happened. They could think what they wanted to. No one ever found out. I kept it to myself. Inside I was broken but never showed it. Now it was coming  
to the holidays. Kate and Elliot were planning on going to New York to see the Ball come down in Times Square. Kept asking me to join them. I tried to keep making excuses but of course Kate would not take no for an answer. She mentioned that maybe Christian would meet them there because he was staying over the holidays at his NY apartment. She slipped out saying his address where it was. I acted like I did not care. After our blind date I did not go out with anyone. I needed to forget him, but it hurt so much. My heart was broken. I felt love for the ﬁrst time even though we had no sex. Kate ﬁnally convinced me, we ﬂew to New York in a private jet. That was a great experience. Elliot, Kate, and I stayed in a hotel right by where the Ball comes down. We wanted to go out on the street and party with everyone. It was bitter cold. I started to drink southern comfort to warm my body. I had no one to hold onto like Kate had her Elliot. Christian never showed up. I was hurting so I started drinking what ever was being passed around on the street. My heart was pounding. The streets were so crowded I felt I could not move. My whole body felt like a sardine can. After that I did not know what happened. Some how I missed the Ball coming down. I was covered in glitter. Ana lost her best friend Kate and her boyfriend Elliot in the mist of the night. Everyone was drinking, dancing and singing around Ana. She was walking around like she was in a days. Nothing mattered. She visualized Christian being there. Some guy came up to Ana and started kissing her. It felt so good it made her think of Christian. He started to touch her but the feeling was not the same. She started to get nervous. The guy was getting aggressive on her. She did not know what to do. She had no one around her that she new. Her friends were gone. It started to snow the streets were getting very slippery. Ana was totally wasted, she was scared all she wanted was that Christian take her in his arms and hold her like that night in the hotel. She started to cry. The guy was getting annoyed kept saying hey babe what's the matter. Ana said, please just go away and leave me alone. The guy did not like that answer he smacked her across the face. Ana's face started to sting. She tried with all her might to get away from this guy but he had a tight grip on here. Ana remembered what her Step Dad always taught her if she felt in trouble Self-defensive." Ana waited for the moment and jammed him with her elbow and kicked him where it hurt. The guy fell to the ground. Ana made her escape from him. It took her a long time to get to a corner but eventually she made it safe. She was a wreck soaking wet. Crying in a strange city a lone on New Years Eve. She remembered the address that Kate told her. She was trying to decide in her state what to do. So a cab saw her standing in the street and said hey lady you are alright. Do you have somewhere to go? So she gave the address that was in her head. The only one she could remember for New York. The cab driver dropped her off. She could just about look out where she was. The snow was coming down pretty heavy Ana stepped out and looked at the building. She walked up to the entrance and went in. It was warm and felt good to breathe again. She saw someone and said, does Christian Grey live here. The man said and who may you be she said my name is Anastasia Steele, Christian Grey knows me. He said, wait a minute. I waited and waited was just about to turn around and leave, the man took me by the arm he called someone on the phone. Ana had no idea what was going on. She heard him say... Sir " she just showed up at your door, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter".. Ana had no idea where she was gonna go. She was at her end. Next thing she new someone picked her up and carried her bridal style. She thought she was dreaming. Ana looked up to the persons face and he just smiled. Am I dreaming again...


	5. Entry 4: LadyMolten

. **  
ENTRY NUMBER FOUR**

* * *

 _ **~The Shy Girl And The Wolfish Grin~**_

" _I poured my aching heart into a pop song  
I couldn't get the hang of poetry  
That's not a skirt girl, that's a sawn-off shotgun  
And I can only hope you've got it aimed at me…"_

Arctic Monkeys was blaring through Ana's headphones as she was mouthing the lyrics while sitting in the gym's bleachers waiting for the student's assembly to start. It was her first day on Seattle High School as a freshman after moving with her mom and little sister to her grandparents' home from Montesano.

The whole change was difficult for her; she didn't know how to interact with other girls and even less with boys. The only friend she had in her previous school was Kate who she had met on kindergarten. She was a quiet person which left Kate to do all the talking and now she wasn't there, Ana had decided to isolate herself on a corner next to the doors for a quick exit once the meeting ended.

Suddenly she felt someone poking at her shoulder and turned to find an annoyed blond girl speaking to her. Ana kept staring at her not knowing what to do while the girl frowned. Finally, the girl signaled for Ana to take her headphones out and she complied.

"Can you move? You are blocking the way to the top" The blonde girl said and Ana still was watching with big blue eyes like a deer caught in the middle of a roadway. "Hello!" The girl waved a hand in front of Ana and she blushed in embarrassment.

"Whitney don't be a bitch already and just walk around" Her friend said behind her and pushed her to a side. "Sorry. She can't be annoying. My name is Steph and you?" A cute Asian girl said to Ana and smiled kindly at her.

Ana smiled awkwardly, her cheeks trembling as she didn't know how much time she had to force her smile and she still haven't mouthed a single word.

"Alright…" Steph chuckled after a moment of awkward silence and continued walking up the stairs.

Ana sighed and looked down. She already wanted the day to finish.

"Welcome everyone to the start of a new academic year in Seattle High School…" A cheerful middle aged woman began to talk presenting herself as the principal and continued her speech.

Ana didn't pay much attention. She still was embarrassed and behind her she heard a bunch of girls giggling when she turned she found Whitney and other girls looking at her and whispering.

 _Remember Annie, you are not shy. You just are holding back your awesomeness so people don't get intimidated._

Ana remembered the words her dad used to say to her and chuckled at the thought. She missed him. She missed him a lot.

"Look!" She heard Whitney say behind her and lifted her eyes to see how four boys walked to the middle of the gym next to the principal. They were wearing a tracksuit with the High School's emblem. Although they were very attractive and every girl were swooning in the bleachers for them, they seemed to care less of being there as they were laughing and pushing each other making one of the teachers call them to stop messing around.

One of them stood out from the group, a tall boy with a lean body that filled the tracksuit very well, he had gray eyes and unruly copper hair that he kept shaking out of his face. Ana had never felt attracted to a boy before but soon she was discovering how the body of a teenage girl worked as her cheeks burned in flames and her hands felt sweaty at the sight of such beautiful specimen.

Her sweet agony finally ended when the eyes of such specimen found her in the bleachers gaping at him. The only thing she managed was to cover her face with her backpack. _She clearly had a lot of awesomeness to hide._

"Now to finish" The principal continued talking. "We would like to congratulate our swimming team for winning the National Swimming competition" The gym erupted in shouts, claps and whistles as everyone cheered at the four boys. "That's right!" The principal clapped joining the celebration. "And we want to give a special recognition to our student Christian Grey for winning eight medals for our school and breaking a new record"

Everyone cheered louder and the copper-haired boy lifted his hand to wave at everyone. Through the laces of her backpack Ana continue looking at him.

"We wish everyone a good start at…" The principal was cut off when the four boys suddenly turned around, bent over and pulled down their pants showing their briefs to everyone with the words 'WELCOME SUCKERS' written all over them.

The whole gym erupted in laughter and even some teachers were hiding their laughs behind the appalled principal. The same teacher who called them at the beginning now was pulling them to the exit as the boys laughed and waved at the rest of students.

"Easy, coach!" Christian said as he was pushed to the doors.

"I know this was your idea, Grey!" He shouted and closed the doors.

"Everyone go to your class now…" The principal sighed resigned and ended the assembly.

Ana was in her last class for the day sat at the front since she was small and it would have been impossible to see from the back of the classroom. Unfortunately, her new History teacher was a believer in modern pedagogical techniques. What does that mean? Instead of reading the class from a book like an introvert kid like Ana would love, her teacher had left a timeline project to do with a partner and because Ana was sat at the front, she was the first to present it tomorrow, there was a tiny little problem though, no one wanted to partner with Ana and be first, and, she was too shy to ask around.t

"Hey!" But the girl calling her was not shy at all. "Hey! Pssst! Yoohoo!" The girl insisted behind her.

Ana nervously looked back and found a smiling girl waving at her. She had shoulder length black hair, blue eyes and pouty lips. She was wearing a striped pink t-shirt with jean shorts showing her long legs. She was tall, cute and sweet. Why was she calling her when Ana was the entire opposite? She thought.

"Have you a partner already?" The girl asked her.

Ana shook his head slowly with wide eyes.

"Great!" The girl quickly jump out from her seat and pulled her chair next to Ana. "Hi! I'm Mia" She had a bubbly personality and practically hugged Ana.

"Uhmmm… Hi" Ana replied after a moment of recovering from Mia's assault.

Her voice was so small that Mia almost didn't catch it. Mia study her for a moment and grinned.

"Are you new here? Here in Seattle I mean. What am I saying? Of course, you are new or I would have seeing you around but then I have been busy with volleyball practices and I have missed a lot from the summer and then my brother… ughh… don't let me even start on my brother…"

Mia continued speaking and speaking in front of Ana while she just listened. It was like opening a faucet and let the water run. Ana did what she does best, she kept quiet.

"And then my dad took us to Peru and it was sooo great…" After a while of just listening Ana remembered they still had to do the project.

"Uhmm" Ana mumble.

"What was that?" Mia asked her.

"About the project…" Ana said softly hoping she wouldn't be angry for interrupted her.

"Oh that. We will do it at my house after school. There we would have more space and more tools"

"But…" Ana sighed biting her lip nervously. "It's for tomorrow" She sentenced.

Ana hoped Mia already knew this and don't back down. Even though she hadn't mouthed more than seven words, she liked Mia and yes, she had counted. Mia was like Kate; she did all the talking. Ana didn't want to be forced to look for another partner.

"Oh I know!" Mia grinned and then showed her notebook to Ana. "I already did it when I was at the back and everyone was wasting their time finding their partners"

Ana looked at the timeline Mia did and she couldn't help smile at how brilliant it was.

"By the way, don't mind Trevor, he is an asshole" Mia whispered and Ana's smile faded.

What Mia was talking about was when their teacher asked for everyone to introduce themselves to the class and it was Ana's turn, she spoke so low that Trevor, a brainless jock, shout for her to _'speak up!'_ making everyone laugh at her expense.

"It's okay" Ana mumbled.

"We will make him pay later" Mia snickered and Ana wondered what was she planning.

The bell rang and everyone quickly began to left the classroom.

"I would've asked my brother to take us to my house but he is on detention for the stunt he pulled earlier" Mia sighed. "So we will take the bus, that's okay with you?"

"I w… call… my mom" Ana mumbled.

"What was that?" Mia asked only because she didn't hear well because of the noise.

Ana took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"I will have to call my mom" She said clearly this time.

"That's cool you could do it from my phone" Mia handed her cellphone to Ana as they walked through the hallway, Ana took it even though she had her own. "It seems you like music" Mia pointed Ana's headphones around her neck.

Ana nodded smiling brightly. Music was a safe topic for her, every song held a lot of memories and during this time, memories were what she only had.

"Oh I love music too but mostly country, I love Carrie Underwood soooo much…" Mia again began rambling. Her choose of music didn't quite interest Ana but she let her continue talking as they exited school. Mia was fun and interesting; Ana could see herself being friends with her.

"I need to kind of warn you" Mia said as they reached her home.

Ana and Mia had been walking from the bus stop to Mia's house. They soon discovered Ana's grandparents' house wasn't too far from there and Mia was quick to suggest Ana to do sleep overs some nights.

"What?" Ana asked. Their talk from the school had gave her more confidence.

"Well" Mia swirled her hair. "My family is kind of weird. They all are wonderful people but they are loud and very expressive. I'm the shyest from all of them…"

Ana gaped quite don't believing what Mia told her. She is the shyest? What the hell is her family?

"Ready?" Mia smirked at Ana's perplexed face and didn't give her time to reply when she opened the door. "MOM! WE ARE HERE!" Mia hollered from the door startling Ana.

"WE?!" A woman's voice replied shouting from somewhere in the house.

"YES!" Mia shouted back. "I TOLD YOU I WAS BRINGING A FRIEND!"

Ana didn't understand why they were shouting each other when they could easily walk to wherever the other was.

Mia pulled Ana to the living room. The house wasn't big but it was very comfy making Ana feel at home. From a door, a blonde woman with her hair pulled on a bun and kind eyes appeared wearing an apron. She probably was coming from the kitchen.

"Yes, I remember honey. But when you said ' _we_ ' I thought you meant your brother. That young man needs a smack on his butt the moment he gets here" She said this and pulled her daughter into a hug.

"Mom…" Mia whined.

"So who do we have here?" Mia's mom looked at Ana with a gentle smile.

"She is my friend Ana from school, we met today and we have to do a project together"

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Grey" Ana said lowly a bit intimidated by all the shouting.

"Oh she is such a cutie pie" Mrs. Grey gushed all over Ana and pulled her for a hug. Ana blushed furiously. After releasing her from her hug, Mrs. Grey held her shoulder. "Welcome darling. Now that you are here, why don't you help me with the laundry and then do some dusting here in the living room, huh?" She said in all seriousness.

"What?!" Ana shrieked with wide eyes. "I… we… I guess…" Ana stuttered not knowing how to reply.

"She is messing with you Ana" Mia pushed her mom to a side and grabbed her hand. Mrs. Grey began to laugh at Ana's expression. "She does this to all of my friends when they come here" She led Ana to her bedroom upstairs. "Knock it off, mom!" Mia said to her mom who continued laughing.

"Sorry sweetie, I couldn't resist" Mrs. Grey laughed while retreating to the kitchen. "GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PROJECT!" She shouted from the kitchen.

"Sorry about that" Mia said a bit embarrassed.

"It's okay" Ana mumbled.

Mia frowned at Ana's quiet and calm personality but chose not to say anything… for now.

"Let's start!" She said cheerfully.

After an hour of drawing Mia's timeline on Kraft paper extended on the floor with markers of different colors, they were about to finish when they heard noise coming from downstairs.

"MOM, I'M HERE!" A man shouted.

"Oh this is going to be priceless" Mia snickered and went to her door to see but Ana staid kneeling on the floor not understanding what Mia meant.

"CHRISTIAN TREVELYAN GREY!" Mrs. Grey shouted and Ana heard steps coming from the kitchen.

"MOM!" Christian complained and more steps were heard like if…

"Oh my God! My mom is chasing Christian with her flip-flop at hand around the living room" Mia and Ana laughed.

"THE FIRST DAY! THE FIRST DAY! AND I RECEIVED A CALL FROM SCHOOL ALREADY" Mrs. Grey continued berating him.

"IT WAS A JOKE!" Christian shouted but you could hear the humor in his voice.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM! AND STAY THERE UNTIL DINNER!" His mom sentenced and steps were heard coming up the stairs.

"Actually, I wanted to shower first" He said and he was heard close to Mia's bedroom.

"TO YOUR ROOM! LET'S SEE WHAT YOUR FATHER HAS TO SAY ABOUT THIS" His mom shouted.

"Sucker!" Mia snickered from her door to her brother.

"Shut up Mia!" Christian replied and slammed his door.

Mia was right. Her family was very loud and probably everyone in Bellevue find out already about Christian Grey. Christian Grey?

"Your brother was one of the guys from the gym this morning?" It was more a revelation than a question.

"Yep! That's my goofy brother. He is in eleventh grade but he behaves like kindergarten. Scratch that! He has the mental age of a five-day-old embryo" Mia rolled her eyes as she knelt in front of Ana to finish their project.

Ana bit her lip remembering the copper-haired boy and how she was mesmerized by those intense gray eyes.

" _I've got another confession to make_ _  
I'm your fool_ _  
Everyone's got their chains to break_ _  
Holding you…"_

Suddenly Foo Fighters started to play in full volume from Christian's bedroom. Ana loved that song.

"Ughhh… sorry" Mia stood up and went to her brother's bedroom.

"Actually it's okay…" Ana mumbled but Mia didn't hear her.

"CHRISTIAN!" Mia shouted. "WE ARE STUDYING IN MY ROOM SO STOP YOUR CRAP MUSIC!" This only increased the volume. "MOM!" Mia whined to her mom.

"CHRISTIAN! I SWEAR TO GOD…!" Their mother shouted from downstairs and didn't finish her threat as the music stopped at once.

"Sorry about that…" Mia said entering her room. Actually, now Ana was bummed because the music had stopped but she wasn't going to say anything.

"Your brother is a handful" Ana mused and Mia chuckled.

"This is nothing compared to what my older brother Elliot used to do to my parents. He is in college now and I think Christian misses him a lot. Elliot was the one who used to do pranks at school every year" Mia smiled fondly. Ana could relate to that, she missed her dad a lot too.

They finished their project and Ana was arranging everything they had used when Mrs. Grey called them for dinner. Ana asked Mia where she could wash her hands before eating so Mia took her to the second-floor bathroom and then went downstairs to help her mom.

Ana finished and opened the bathroom's door to leave when she found Christian leaning on the hallway in front of her wearing nothing more than his boxer briefs and looking at his nails. She gasped calling Christian's attention when he looked at her, he gasped mirroring her with humor and covered his nipples with his hands.

After a moment of silence during which they only stared at each other eyes. Christian laughed.

"Sorry, usually my sister's friends stay downstairs or I should have come to shower with my bathrobe"

Ana blushed crimson looking at his body. He had a great one, narrow waist, long shoulders and great abs with a 'v' which he now was scratching absentmindedly. Her eyes couldn't help to follow the trail of hair to his boxer and what it was hiding. When she returned her eyes to his face, he had a wolfish grin and his eyes were darker looking at her. She had been caught checking him out. He walked close to her and her breathing stopped for a moment.

"You are incredibly beautiful" He said softly while caressing her cheek. In that moment, her heart was beating so fast, she was sure he could hear it. Ana got lost in his eyes and as he was leaning more and more to her face, Mia called her.

"ANA!" Mia shouted effectively pulling Ana out of her daze.

She quickly scurried out of the bathroom and Christian's intense presence. She walked to Mia's bedroom, took her bag and walked down the stairs to find Mia and her mom waiting there. She mumbled some sort of apology and leave the house almost running. Christian had affected her in a way she couldn't understand and that frightened her so she did what she does best, she ran.

"That was weird" Mrs. Grey said watching through the window Ana run away with her backpack bouncing behind her.

"Right? What had happened?" Mia mused.

Mrs. Grey turned to look at the stairs and found Christian wearing only his boxer briefs. "That happened" She frowned at him.

"What did I do?" Christian asked scratching his stomach.

Mia turned to see his brother and scowled at him. "CHRISTIAN! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" She ran the stairs up and Christian quickly did a run locking himself in the bathroom before his sister would caught him.

The next day Mia and Ana did the presentation of their project on the fifth period and it went marvelous gaining praise from their teacher. Mia had apologized to Ana for what happened the day before to which Ana replied with a resounding and definitive…

"It's okay"

Now was waiting for the bell to ring after her final class, Mia had told her she was staying for volleyball practices so Ana was leaving alone. When she left her class after the bell, she found Christian waiting for her in the hallway. She stopped in her tracks not able to do anything else.

"Hey" Christian grinned looking at her. "Look, now I'm properly dressed"

He was wearing a white t-shirt under a blue shirt, black jeans, sneakers and he was carrying a messenger leather bag while Ana was wearing a brown long skirt and a white shirt. Her hair was loose and it covered her face while looking down avoiding Christian's stare, but then she heard him walk close to her. Was she going to be this mess around him always?

"You have beautiful hair…" He whispered but with the tip of his finger he lifted her chin. "But you have an even more beautiful face, Anastasia. Don't hide it" He told her and she gasped.

"How…?" She mumbled.

She hadn't said her full name to anyone, how did he know?

"How did I know your name?" Christian read her mind and Ana nodded her head nervously.

"Mia didn't want to tell me your class for the last period so I hacked the school system and then I found your full name was Anastasia. It's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl"

Ana blushed furiously but what was what he said?

"Hacked?" She shrieked.

"Yeah…" Christian ran his hand through his hair nervously and grinned. "Let that be our little secret okay?" He winked at her.

Ana couldn't help smile at his playfulness. Suddenly, Christian grabbed Ana's backpack from her and threw it over his shoulder.

"Let's go" He said and Ana panicked. "I will take you home as a way of apologize for yesterday" He explained and she sighed.

"It's okay" She said softly but Christian shook his head effusively.

"Nope!" He grabbed her hand and a jolt of electricity run between them. Ana gasped. "You got quite scared yesterday although I couldn't help feel a bit hurt after all, I worked hard for this" He waved his other hand around his torso and Ana blushed on cue.

He pulled her and they walked together through the hallway, her tiny hand in his strong one, they fit perfectly. Ana soon realized they were calling the attention of everyone around them and looked down in embarrassment. Christian caught this.

"Hey! What is it?" He leaned to her and said sweetly.

"Everyone is looking at us" She mumbled and Christian almost didn't catch it because of the noise of everyone leaving the school.

He looked around and chuckled.

"Yeah, they are probably jealous" He said and Ana nodded.

Probably every girl was wondering what this greek god was doing with mousy Ana, she thought.

"They probably can't believe I'm leaving with the most beautiful girl of the school" He said and Ana whipped her head to look at him. He smiled sweetly at her and she quickly looked down again, only this time, she was smiling too.

They reached the parking lot and Christian led her to a well-maintained yellow beetle. He opened the passenger door and threw Ana's backpack and his bag to the back seat and then closed the door. Ana looked at him in confusion, she thought he would let her in.

"I would have let you in" Christian understood Ana's confusion. "But I need you to push the car first so I can start the engine" He asked her in all seriousness and Ana's face felt.

"What?!" Ana shrieked appalled at what he was asking.

After a moment of they staring at each other. Ana stuttered.

"I… don't know… I guess…" She walked to him.

"I'm kidding!" He laughed and stopped her.

Ana frowned at him. His mom had done the same and she hadn't appreciated it but then, who falls for the same twice? She shook her head at the thought. Only her, that's for sure. Christian was worried he had overstepped but then Ana started to giggle at the absurdity of what Christian was asking her. He smiled lovingly at her.

"That's lovely" He mused out loud.

Ana continue laughing and look behind her to see what Christian was referring to but she didn't find anything.

"Your laugh" He explained. "It's a beautiful sound and I think I'm in love already" He smiled at her.

Ana stopped laughing and blushed at what he said. Did he mean it? Or did he say it to every girl he gave a ride? She found sincerity in his eyes and out of a nervous habit, she bit her lip.

Christian gasped and quickly shook his head.

"Let's go!" He cleared his throat while opening the door for Ana. "We don't want you to get laid… I mean late to your home" Ana saw Christian's cheeks blush in embarrassment and she found it cute.

On the way to Ana's home, she and Christian easily felt into a comfortable conversation about themselves.

Like his sister, Christian was a chatty and told Ana about his brother Elliot and how he wanted to be like him and made his parents proud.

"But you won a lot of medals. I'm sure they are proud already" It was the longest sentence Ana had mustered to a stranger. She felt comfortable around Christian, that was what made her talk more.

"I guess, but we are talking about the same guys who wanted a girl and then had me" He scrunched his face making Ana laugh again.

When Christian asked if Ana had any siblings, Ana smile broadly leaving Christian astounded at such beautiful sight and began to telling him about her little sister, Chloe and their lives at Montesano. Christian could listen her talking all day but unfortunately he asked a question Ana wasn't ready to answer yet.

"Why did you move here?" He asked innocently.

"Uhmmm…" Ana's smile faded. "My mom" She gulped. "She needed help after… my dad left"

Christian was so used to joke around everyone that for the first time didn't reply at something told to him. He didn't know what to say and clearly Ana didn't want to say anything else. Their friendly chatter quickly became into an awkward silence that both couldn't stand.

"What's your favorite book?" Christian asked.

"What kind of music do you listen?" Ana asked at the same time.

Both laughed and quickly the awkward silence turn into a comfortable chat about books, music and movies. They discovered they had a lot of common and at the same time a lot to learn from each other.

They arrived to Ana's home and Christian was greatly surprised it was close to his house. He was already planning in his head a series of impromptu visits to Ana's window at night, more like sneaking in than visit.

"Thank you for the ride" Ana said with a smile at him.

"Would you like to go out on a date with me?" Christian asked her directly without preamble.

This shocked Ana, he was so direct. No one had ever asked her out and now she didn't how to reply. Did she want to go out with him? Yes, she wanted. But still she felt insecure of what to do. She had just started High School, wasn't it too soon to start dating? She wanted to talk to her mom first.

"I… I don't know" She mumbled, her shell closing around her once again. She bit her lip nervously.

Christian leaned closer, and with his thumb he released her lip.

"My God! Ana. You are so beautiful; I want to bite that lip too" Yes! Ana wanted that too for a moment but the neighbor's dog's barks quickly freed her from her daze.

"Sorry" She grabbed her backpack and got out of the car.

"Ana!" Christian quickly followed her stopping her from running. "Wait!"

"I'm sorry Christian. I don't know about dating…" She said looking down. "I should ask my mom for permission"

"What?!" Christian laughed out loud and Ana looked at him confused at what was he laughing at. "Wait, do you mean that?" Christian chuckled.

Ana's confusion was replaced by hurt and she turned around to walk to her house. She didn't want him to mocked her.

"Shit!" Christian cursed and walked long strides to be in front of her. "I'm sorry. That was just… unexpected"

"I don't want to date" Ana mumbled petulantly.

"Ana" Christian sighed. "I know you are very shy and I realize I'm older than you but I never felt like this before for anyone. I like you a lot and I'm not giving up on you. I will wait until you are ready, whenever it is, I will wait" He leaned and kissed her on her cheek.

He turned around and left her speechless in front of her grandparents' house.

"So he just left?" Mia asked Ana in the school's cafeteria while they were having lunch. Ana nodded at her question. "When I arrive home he was in his bedroom and then he seemed normal"

"Oh" It was the only thing Ana said.

Mia caught Ana's disappointment and smirked when she began to play with her food.

"Did you want him to start planning a plot to conquer you?" Mia said dramatically making Ana blush. "Don't give him too much thought, Ana. You are fine without him, he is too immature"

Ana scowled at Mia. That wasn't true, from their talk she had learned Christian had real dreams. She opened her mouth to defend him but quickly shut it when she found Christian in the cafeteria.

"Oh, do you think I'm wrong?" Mia asked her but Ana was looking at something behind her, when she turned to see what was it. She watched how her brother was dancing with his friends from the swimming team what appeared to be a cowboy country dance… in the middle of the cafeteria.

"Quod erat demonstrandum" Mia said lifting her juice box in victory.

Ana frowned at her and Mia sighed.

"He is a great guy" Mia explained her reasoning. "But so far he has never dated. He had a bunch of girls fawning around him, sure, but he never seemed interested on them. I wouldn't like you to be his first girlfriend only for him to hurt you. He has a lot of flaws"

"Like what?" Ana asked curiously.

"He likes indie crap music also Metallica, Slipknot, Linkin Park and all those bands that made a lot of noise" Mia said scrunching her nose.

Ana loved indie and Metallica, it was her father's favorite band and they would often play to be in a band in the middle of the living room, but she didn't voice it out.

"He likes to watch weird, confusing movies like _'2001: space odyssey'_ and claimed to understand it" Mia rolled her eyes.

Ana loved to do that with her dad. Stanley Kubrick's marathons was something religious in her home.

"He walks around the house brushing his teeth. He drinks his coffee cold, who does that? He does little scribbles in every paper he finds of Nickelodeon cartoons" Mia counted with her fingers.

Ana did all those things and slowly she hid the Timmy Turner draw she made in her napkin.

Did she and Christian meant to be together? She had already figure out they had a lot in common but now it was ridiculous.

It had been two days since that day Christian take her home and Ana was miserable since Christian had ignored her all the time. If she was one of those people who liked to curse, she would have said a bunch of profanities at her shyness.

It was night and she was helping her sister do a card for her grandmother's birthday and in the process, she was covered in glitter. Suddenly, her phone received a call.

"Hi Mia" She answered.

"Ana!" Mia whispered through the phone. "You need to come to my house PRONTO!"

"What?" Ana was confused. "Why?"

"It's Christian" Ana's heart stopped at the thought of something happening to him. "For the first time in his pathetic life, he has a date!" Mia told her.

And the same heart she had felt stop now she felt it was being broken.

"What?" This time it came as a whisper.

"He is taking out some blonde bimbo. You need to come here and stop him or you going to lose him"

"What am I supposed to do, just leave everything and run to your house?" Ana said unsure of doing that even though her heart was breaking at the thought of Christian with another girl. "If he is going out with some girl, it's because he already forgot about me" She held her tears. Her little sister was watching her.

"No, he isn't. He has been mopping around these days talking only about you. He is always saying how he would like for you to give him a sign you truly want him so he could kiss your shyness away" Mia confessed. "What better signal that come here and beat that bitch" Mia encouraged her.

Ana still hesitated.

"He is already going out. Run!" Mia scream-whispered through the phone and hang up.

Ana stood up and paced around her living room, she didn't care she still was covered in glitter and was leaving it everywhere. Her thoughts were only for Christian. Should she go?

An alert for a text message came and attached it was a picture of only Christian's back hugging a blonde girl who looked a lot like… _Whitney?_ That bitch from the first day of class? HELL, NO!

Ana ran to the front door but before she tried to open it, her mom entered first hitting her on the arm with the door.

"FUCK!" Ana shouted and held her arm for a moment. That was definitely going to bruised.

"Ana!" Her mom admonished her when she cursed but Ana ignored her and dashed from the door. "Sorry mom but I need to go to Mia's"

"This late?" Her mom questioned her while Ana ran.

"Yeah, sorry" Ana shouted from far. "Not sorry!" She shouted again.

Her mom turned to find her younger daughter giggling next to her holding a card covered in glue and glitter.

"Look mommy!" She showed her the card.

Her mom smiled lovingly at her but she almost fainted when she saw the mess in the living room.

Meanwhile, Ana continued running to the Grey's house hoping she would have a chance to speak with Christian before he went out on his date. She reached a corner and had to stop abruptly for not jumping at a puddle of water from the rain. She sighed relieved but out of nowhere a car sped up splashing the water all over her, soaking her wet.

"SHIT!" It was the second curse Ana had ever said in her life and she didn't care the people staring at her. Nothing could stop her now and she continued running to find Christian.

Finally, she arrived to Christian's house and knocked at the door praying that he was still inside. She had showed up at his door, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter but she didn't care, she had to speak with him.

Her prayers were answered when Christian opened the door wearing shorts and a black t-shirt.

"Ana?" His first reaction was to be worried something had happened to her. She was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt which now were soaking wet, her cheeks were covered in glitter and a bruise was beginning to form in her right arm where the door hit her. "Jesus Christ, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm okay" She smiled at him but then frowned. "Actually I'm not okay. It's not okay"

"What happened?" He asked her and opened the door to let her in but Ana shook her head. She didn't want to mess his mom's living room.

"I know you are going out on a date with a girl and probably she is gorgeous and not shy at all about what she wants.

"I know that I made you wait too long so I will cut this short. I like you and I like you a lot. I think of you every day and night but I'm always afraid of taking the first step. I'm awkward around people but not around you. My dad was the only person I felt comfortable with, and after he passed away two months ago I didn't think I will find someone else to be comfortable with… until I met you. You made me a different person and I think I'm falling for you too" Ana poured all her emotions in those words.

"Ana" Christian said but Ana stopped him quickly.

"No. Let me finish. I'm too shy but I don't want to be like that. I want to go on dates with you. But you already have a date so I will leave you to it but if you still want me, you have to know that I want to kiss you too. Okay I finished, good night" Ana turned around and began to walk away.

Even though she wasn't sure what will happen next, she felt happy to finally let everything go.

"Wait" Christian called after her and she turned to look at him. "You forgot something" He walked to where she was standing.

"What?" She asked confused when he reached her.

"This" He grabbed her face and kissed her hard.

She had poured all her feelings in that speech leaving him speechless for the first time in his life but now he was pouring all his emotions into that kiss. She closed her eyes and reveled in his soft lips as they danced around her. Christian held her for dear life afraid she will run again but when she interlaced her arms around his neck, he felt in heaven. They had finally find each other.

Christian and Ana were sitting on a couch in the deck of Christian's house when Ana asked.

"And your date?" Ana remembered the reason she was there.

"Oh right that's what I was about to ask you. Who told you I was on a date?" Christian asked her.

"Mia" Ana whispered fearing what would Christian said next.

"Oh" He said. "Well, she lied to you. I wasn't going out on a date" He explained casually.

"No?" Ana shrieked.

"Nope" Christian replied and thought for a moment Ana didn't believe him.

"But she sent me a picture" Ana showed him the picture on her phone.

"That's my brother. That's a picture from last year" He clarified frowning at the picture of his brother's back. Why would she have thought that was him?

"Why would she lie to me?" Ana wondered.

"Because I was tired of listening to both you moping about each other" Mia appeared with a trash bag. "You're welcome!" Mia bowed and went to take the trash.

Christian and Ana looked at each other and laughed. Ana pulled Christian from his t-shirt and smashed her lips to his. She loved to kiss him and she was planning to do it all the time.

 **THE END**


	6. Entry 5: Ladymav9

. **  
ENTRY NUMBER FIVE**

* * *

 _ **~The Wish~**_

 **Christian:**

I'm sitting down on my new couch in the new home I bought here on the Sound. The fire is going and I'm nursing a full tumbler of scotch thinking about how I got here. The house has eight bedrooms, twelve bathrooms, indoor/outdoor pool, gym, media and game room, and _her_ room. Yet I have no one to share it with. I thought that once I became a billionaire that I would feel whole; complete almost.

I shake off my thoughts and continue to drown my sorrows. My family is coming over this weekend to see the new house but that is not who I want coming over. I want what I can't have. She will never grace my doorstep ever. I knew when I left for Harvard that we were over. She didn't want things to end but my pride ruined us yet again. She still had another year of High School and I wanted her to enjoy her last year and not hold her back. So, I did the only thing that I knew and broke her heart.

"You're not enough for me anymore. Did you really think that I would date a High School girl, when I will be surrounded by college chicks all day?" I said trying to convince her.

The tears that ran down her cheeks and the pleading in her voice have haunted me ever since. I tried keeping tabs on her through Mia but then she her dad, Ray, got relocated out of the country and I haven't heard anything about her since three months ago.

I had my IT guy Barney do a check for her and he found out that she was now back in Seattle living downtown. She is an editor at a publishing company and has risen through the ranks quickly. I know the owner, Roach, and have met with him just to get the scoop on her. Yes, that makes me chicken shit but I'm not ready to see her yet. I want our first meeting to go perfectly and not have her slapping me or running for the hills.

Looking out the glass windows overlooking the Sound I think about all the fun times we had on the water. We use to sail down through here in High School on my dad's boat and dream about owning a house here. As soon as I found out she moved back I bought this house to have it ready for when we met up again. I wanted to show her that I remembered the dreams we had for a future together.

I know that this won't be a quick fix but I can be patient and woo her again like I did when we first met at the end of my Junior year.

I throw the last drop to the back of my throat and pour myself another. Elliot thinks that I'm stupid for waiting around for a woman who probably wants nothing to do with me or has moved on to another guy but I don't care. I would rather have one woman the rest of my life than the triple digit number that keeps rising every time he goes out to a bar. He can have those one night stands and I will continue to keep the memories I have of the one who I let get away. Or rather pushed away. I plan on having a 'run in' with her on Monday before she heads into work. She runs every weekday and takes the same route. Which isn't smart, any crazy person or stalker could be watching and know her routine and grab her at any time. Okay, so maybe I am that crazy stalker who watches her but I'm doing it for her own good. She has always needed someone to look after her and I am all too happy to fill that position.

Tonight, is Halloween and while everyone is out partying, I am here at the house I plan to share with my future wife. Elliot tried to get me to go out to a party right down the beach from me but it doesn't feel right going without her. The rain is coming down harder than before and in the distance, I can see bolts of lightning on the water.

I finish off the fourth refill of my scotch and lay back down on the sofa. I hear the crackling of the fire and look up at the mantle. There above an antique clock is the last picture of her and I at my graduation. I'm in my cap and gown and she is wearing blue sundress that matches her eyes. I bought her that dress for her birthday along with some sexy lingerie to match. That was the last day we spent as a couple. We went out to eat with my parents and then her and I had a date in the boathouse. We spent all night making love and sharing about our future together. She was planning on joining me at Harvard once she graduated.

The next day my dad pulled me aside and had a talk with me about what he expected and nowhere in there did it include a seventeen-year-old blue eyed crush. He wanted me focused and to have my head on straight at Harvard. He kept reminding me that his money was what was paying for my education and that I need to tie up all the loose ends here in Seattle. I hated what he was implying but if I wanted to able to give my love the future she wanted then I needed to buckle down. So, with regret I did what he wanted and broke things off a few hours later. I was such a coward for not standing up to him at the time.

I didn't even stay the full year at Harvard before dropping out. Mom needed me home. Her and dad had separated and were getting a divorce. Apparently, Dad was banging the neighbor down the street, Elena Lincoln, for a while. Mom found out one night after surprising him at his office. She said that she walked in on them in a mortifying way. Apparently, dad liked whips and chains being used on him. Mom left and collected all his belongings and threw them to the curb. Little did she know that the next morning was a trash day. We all joke about it now every time we have to take her trash out.

We haven't spoken with Carrick since then. He still has his law firm but had to step away for a while when the police raided Elena's house after someone tipped them off of her having a thing with young boys. I guess what goes around comes around. He didn't even defend her when her trial started. According to a source he ended things right away and then left for a few weeks until the media died down.

Carrick has tried to make contact with mom over the years but she only dealt with him through lawyers until Mia turned eighteen. Now that I'm a billionaire my family has CPO's who make sure that no one comes close to any of them. Mom has started dating a Cardiologist that is ten years younger than her and is happy. We've met him a few times and he seems to make her happy. He had divorced his wife about five years ago, due to cheating and I guess he and mom bonded over each other's misfortune.

Elliot owns two businesses. He started a construction business after getting his architect degree. When it comes to business for him he is as serious as can be. Elliot has won a lot of bids around Seattle and other major cities since starting. He really has made a name for himself and hit millionaire status just one year in business. The second business is a string of stores that sell sex toys. Leave it to him to have a shop dedicated to sex. He has never been shy about having his first sexual encounter at fourteen. I think that sometimes he has a sex addiction problem but mom assures me that he is just trying to sow his wild oats before settling down. 'When the right one comes around he will stop his college boy ways'. Mom has always said.

Mia is somewhere in Italy learning fashion. She had originally wanted to go a culinary school but found out that she kept burning everything so she left and started interning at a fashion house. She loves it there and I doubt she will move home anytime soon.

I look next to my family's picture and see that the antique clock reads 11:11. I remember Mia used to say make a wish when this time would come up. I think that the alcohol is messing with my brain because I lay my head back closing my eyes and make a wish.

"I wish that she would forgive me and come back into my life right now." I say out loud.

I must have drifted off because the next thing I know is that there is a pounding on the back window near the patio. Opening my eyes I try to get my bearings about me. The pounding keeps coming and I leap off the sofa and make my way over to the double glass door.

It's pitch black outside and when I flip the outside light on I see a woman on the ground in a fairy outfit. She is holding her shoe trying to get it on the right foot.

"This is private property. How did you get up here?" I say in an annoying tone.

That is when I'm met with blue eyes that have been in my dreams for the past five years.

What is she doing here? Where did she come from?

She just showed up at my back door, soaking wet, light bruises forming on her upper arms and covered head to toe in glitter.

"Anastasia?" I gasp.

"Christian?" She slurs. Is she drunk?

I reach down on the ground and scoop her up into my arms. I haven't felt her warmth in so long and she feels just as good as I remember her. I bring her into the living room and place her by the fire. She is soaking wet and I need to get her out of these drenched clothes and into some dry ones.

Sprinting up the stairs I head to the guest room where I'm staying until Anastasia and I can share the master together. I grab a white under shirt and a pair of my boxers and sweat pants. Hurrying back down the stairs I almost slip and fall. My heart is racing, there is so much I want to say to her and thought I had more time to think this out.

Walking into the living room I watch her lean slightly towards the fire to feel more of the warmth. I know my breathing is erratic and loud from my hustle upstairs, she must hear it because she turns and when I walk closer to her. I see her shiver and I don't know if it's from the cold or if I still have that effect on her.

"Here put these on and stay by the fire." I command more than ask.

She nods and bends down to take her shoes off.

"What are you doing here Anastasia?"

She lifts her head and I get a front row show her ample breast that are peeking out of her green fairy outfit. They've grown since the last time I laid eyes or hands on them. My palms are twitching to touch them.

"I was at a party down the beach and went for a walk, I guess I got too far down and got turned around. I realized too late that I didn't have my phone with me and started to panic when the rain started to pour down. I saw the lights on from the water and thought that someone might be home to let me use a phone to call my friend and her boyfriend." She starts unzipping her tiny outfit from the back and it drops to her feet. Leaving her in only a strapless bra and the tiniest pair of panties ever made. Sweet Jesus, women's underwear has changed in five years. "Whose place is this Christian? Why are you in a house like this?"

She seems perfectly fine stripping in front of me and it makes me wonder if she does this in front of other males. Heat coarse through my body. The thought makes me want to rip out every man's eyes who have laid eyes on her perfect body that is only meant for me.

"It's mine, I bought it for us." I say and immediately want to slap myself. _Great way to start off. Yes, show her all your cards before you even say hello properly._

"Oh. Well, you sure did pick out the biggest one on the waterfront." She says not mentioning the part about it being our house.

Anastasia then takes a step towards me. We are only about five feet apart and I could easily reach out and touch her now.

"I wanted you to have the best." Man, I miss her and her sexy body. I bite my lip to hold back a groan when she puts her hands in her hair to squeeze out some of the water from the rain.

"You missed me, huh?" She says with a smirk.

Shit! I thought I said that in my head. I need to breath and get myself under control before I do something that will mess this opportunity up.

She takes another step to me and then stops.

"I missed you too. I thought about you a lot over the last five years. Like, if you looked the same or smelled the same or tasted the same." She has the most mischievous smile on her face. It reminds me of when we were back in High School.

I think that my heart just stopped.

I reach out and crush my lips and body to hers. Five years of buildup finally come to a head and I pour every second we were away from each other into it. Anastasia tugs on my hair bringing me closer to her. The moans from us are almost animalistic.

My shirt comes off next sending the buttons flying and then her bra so that we are skin to skin. I feel her nipples pressed against me and they harden as I run my thumbs over them. She starts to work on my belt and has it and my pants down at my feet in record time. My dick is already at the top of my waistband and there is only a small piece of cloth that is separating me from my dick's home.

With the flick of my fingers that scrap of material is laying in the fire burning. I step back and take her nakedness in. She looks every bit of woman standing in front of me. Gone is the shy teenager that lost her virginity to me and I to her.

"See something you like?" She asks boldly.

"Not like but love."

I work my boxers down and step out of them. Anastasia is staring at my dick like it's a Thanksgiving meal. I can only smirk and continue to stare at the sexy woman who has been in my dreams for the last five years. I haven't even looked at another woman since I left her or wanted to for that matter. She has always been it for me.

I scoop her up and walk over to the oversized sofa I was laying on earlier and deposit her gently on it. I cover her with my body placing my forearms on either side of her head to keep some of my weight off of her body. Feeling my dick up against her wet pussy has me almost coming and ending our night early. Before we can go any further I need to know a few things from her.

"Baby, are you still all mine? Only me?" I know I don't have a right to get upset at her answer because I was the one who broke things off and crushed her heart but I still want to know.

She looks me square in the eyes, "Christian I am only yours and will always be only yours. Are you still mine?"

A flood of relief rushes through my body making my eyes close and my muscles relax.

"Baby, you are the only woman I have ever been with. You were my first and last woman that I will ever be with." I say after opening my eyes to reconnect our souls.

I start kissing down her neck leaving a trail to her breast. When I reach the first nipple I flick my tongue over it loving how it responds to my touch. I tweak the other nipple between my thumb and index finger. Sucking hard makes her back arch making her body get as close to my mouth as possible. Once I'm satisfied I switch and repeat the action. I know that this used to drive her crazy. Moving down I kiss her flat stomach and dip my tongue in her belly button before continuing south.

I notice that she is bare over her most private areas that only belong to me. Five years ago, she always sported a little hair that I tugged on to get her attention. Now I am getting a better view of how turned on I make her. Her slick folds are begging to be lapped up and I do just that.

Anastasia has her hands back in my hair and is grinding her hips up to my mouth needing more friction. I flatten my tongue and attack her clit. It doesn't take but three flick and a hard suck to send her over the edge screaming my name. I'm thankful that we aren't at my penthouse apartment because I forgot just how loud she gets when I make her come.

When her body is finished convulsing and she rides out her orgasm I move up her body. My dick is about to explode if I don't get inside of her soon.

"I love you baby. I never stopped."

I say and then thrust home until my dick is hitting her cervix. We both let out a groan at the feeling. She is still just as tight as I remember. I hold there until I know that I won't blow my load and then wait for her to give me the go ahead to move.

Anastasia shifts her hip and kisses me letting me know to start moving. Returning the kiss, I seek entrance into her mouth and devour her as I slowly move in and out of her tight pussy.

"Oh, Christian you're so big." She moans and it only turns me on more.

I start picking up the pace driving into her. The only sounds in the room is the crackle of the fire burning and the slapping of skin as I fuck her.

Knowing that it has been a long time since I've had sex I know that I won't last much longer. I reach between us and start rubbing circles on her sensitive clit. I feel her getting wetter and her walls are getting even tighter and I know that she is close too.

"Come on Baby, give me one more."

I barely finish my command when she gushes screaming my name again. A sound that I never thought I would hear again. Her tight walls clamp down on my dick and I lose my load coming in long spurts into her welcoming pussy. I continue to pump into her until my dick starts to soften wanting to mark her again after all these years.

Exhausted I fall forward and lay my head between her breast. She is running her fingers through my sweaty hair breathing heavily.

"I've missed this so much. I didn't think that I was ever going to get to have you again." I start talking.

"Shh, let's not talk about this right now and enjoy each other."

Her breathing evens out and I know that she has fallen asleep. I gently and quietly rise off of her and walk over to put on my boxers. I look back over at my sleeping beauty and can't believe she is here. This is what dreams are made of.

Walking back over to her, I pick up her sleeping form and think about making my way up to our master bedroom. I have waited a long time for this moment and can't wait to wake up to her every morning with her by my side but I want her to be sober and have a clear mind when I show her our room. I want it to be special for us and for us to christen it all night long.

Placing her on my chest I lay back down on the sofa we just reconnected on. She snuggles up and lays her head in the crook of my neck and a hand over my heart. I pull the sofa blanket over our bodies and snuggle in and wrap my arms around her tightly anchoring her to me.

"Goodnight Baby, I love you." I say even though I know she can't hear me.

As sleeps takes me under I hear off in the distance the chime of the clock on the mantle indicating that it is now midnight.

Waking up the next morning I don't feel as hot as I did when I went to sleep with Anastasia on me last night. Opening my eyes I see that I'm alone on the sofa and that the living room is cleaned up. There is only my clothes which are on hung over the armrest of the chair in the corner of the room. I don't remember putting them there.

I sit up and hear some noise coming from the kitchen and know that Anastasia is probably making us breakfast. She is an excellent cook and always loved cooking for me when we were younger.

Walking into the state of the art kitchen I see and smell bacon, eggs and French toast is on the menu this morning. When the door to the refrigerator closes I nearly jump out of my skin.

"Mrs. Jones! What are you doing here?" I all but yell. She is supposed to be off today to spend some time with her sister.

"Oh, Mr. Grey you scared me." She clutches her chest. "Something came up and my sister needed to help out a friend who was moving this weekend."

Well, I guess she can cook and I can introduce her to Anastasia. I really hope they like each other.

"Breakfast will be ready in about seven minutes Mr. Grey."

"Sure, not a problem. Have you seen Anastasia this morning?"

She gives me a quizzical look.

"Who?"

"A short brunette, slim build, eyes the color of the ocean." I say trying my best to describe Anastasia and not use the words sexy, perky or delectable.

"I'm sorry Sir, but I haven't seen anyone in the house all morning. I got here right as the sun was coming up and did some cleaning before starting breakfast."

What?!

I start rubbing the back of my neck and feel the headache that I normally get when I drink too much.

Did I dream her being here? Was all that in my head?

"Are you sure? You didn't see anyone here with me on the sofa when you came in?"

"No Sir."

I can't believe she wasn't here.

I sit down for breakfast and eat but it all has a bland taste to it. It all felt so real last night. How could I have mistaken last night as anything but real. I could touch her and smell her still in my nose.

With I long sigh I place my half-eaten dish in the sink and walk back into the living room. Despondently, I dress in yesterday's pants on the armchair but forgo on the shirt. I see the empty bottle of scotch and no wonder I thought she was here.

Outside the sun shines through the windows and is drying up last night's puddles. I walk over to the back door and look out at the water. Soon, I tell myself. She will be here with me soon.

As I turn to head up to shower and dress for the day something catches my eye and makes me open the door. I walk out onto the patio and bend down. Placing my hand on the concrete and then bringing it back up in front of my face I see it. The evidence that lets me know that I wasn't crazy after all.

On my hand is the glitter from her fairy outfit last night. I rush back into the house and over to the fireplace. In there, next to a burnt log on the side of the hearth is a wilted piece of fabric.

Her panties!

Then I start noticing glitter throughout the rest of the room and sofa.

She was here and I didn't just dream it! But why did she leave? Oh my little pixie, you can run but you can't hide…


	7. Entry 6: MistressH

. **  
ENTRY NUMBER SIX**

* * *

 _ **~My Girl~**_

As I stare at the beautiful woman across the room on the dance floor, her face is lit up with joy and there is a sparkle in her eye, however it's not there because of me. Watching her in the arms of another man on her wedding day, I think about how we got here.

Truth be told I never even imagined or pictured her in a wedding dress. I suppose that was one of my mistakes. The fact that I thought she would never want to get married and start her own family after coming from such a happy and loving one herself.

I remember clearly the day I first laid eyes on her for the first time like it was yesterday. Her big, bright, blue eyes and chestnut coloured hair making her the most beautiful girl I had ever come across. She captivated me. I couldn't stay away from her and constantly found reasons to be near her. I would watch her from afar sometimes just to ensure she was safe. She would call me crazy if she knew.

She had my heart from the very first second, even if she was unaware of it, from the first moment I held her and kissed her. I knew she was special, that nobody would ever come close to her and she had my entire heart and soul from that very first day.

I tried my best to be who she needed. To support her and love her.

I promised her to always be there for her, however there were times I wasn't or couldn't be and I know that hurt her. I tried to make all her dreams come true and love her more than anyone else ever could. I tried to protect her from the world but in turn that just made her feel suffocated.

I was her first love. I'll never forget the day she told me she loved me for the first time. I actually felt my heart expand and grow inside my chest upon hearing the words from her. I didn't think there were any sweeter words in the English language.

I recall every time she would rush into my arms when I returned home from work each evening, her face glowing with happiness. I lived for those moments. She made every problem I was having at GEH that day just melt away with her smile. I would give anything to go back in time and have just one more day like that with her.

Then the day came when she told me about the other man she had fallen in love with. How did I not see it happening right under my nose? I didn't see the signs, had no clue I was losing her. I truly believed I knew her so well that she couldn't keep secrets from me but I was wrong, so very wrong.

The day she moved out was horrible, one of the worst of my life. I can still recall that it was raining that day and I felt the emptiness immediately without her. There was nothing I could do to change her mind. I couldn't bear to watch her walk out the door. No matter how much I begged her, how much we argued, in the end she left. I remember I spent that night at my desk drinking. Not wanting to go to bed. Had I made her feel that the only way she could face her future was away from me?

I'm trying to hold back my tears in this little corner of the large room, hidden away from the other guests so she doesn't notice me and see my heart breaking as I realise I have lost her to someone else forever.

Sometimes though no matter how much we want to hold onto someone, we have to let them go to be happy. To allow them to spread their wings and not hold them back. I had to learn that the hard way unfortunately. But I did it. I let her go.

With a brief glance around the reception hall I take in all the glittery and sparkly decorations everywhere and it takes me back to a particular day when she showed up at my door.

I was working in my home office when there were three timid knocks on my door. I looked up from my paperwork however nobody entered so I got up and opened the door, pissed at the interruption, to find her standing before me.

She was soaking wet, bruised and covered in glitter.

" _Phoebe? What the hell happened to you?"_

 _My seven year old daughter was looking at me sheepishly while wringing her fingers. The water dripping onto the carpet beneath her feet. Her wet hair stuck to her face._

" _Umm….I kind of had a little accident." She whispered to me._

" _I'll say."_

 _I kneel down to her height and place my hands on her upper arms as I inspect the large, purple lump which has appeared above her left eye. I gently touch it causing her to wince and move her head back out of my reach._

" _Ow, it hurts." She whimpers._

" _Where's Mom? I thought the two of you were watching a movie together."_

" _We were but she fell asleep and I got bored."_

 _That's my daughter for you. Always needing to be entertained otherwise shit like this occurs apparently._

 _Teddy who is nine years old has gone fishing with his grandfathers for the day so Ana and Phoebe were having a girl's day today as I was extremely busy with work._

" _Can you tell me what happened?"_

" _Mommy fell asleep on the couch and I didn't want to watch the movie anymore so I decided to go and make her card for her birthday. I went into mommy's study to get her special craft box down from the shelf but I couldn't quite reach it, it fell down hitting me on the head and the lid came off it and all the glitter went everywhere on the carpet and on me. I tried to have a shower to clean it off but it just got more stuck to me."_

 _She pouts and starts crying._

" _I'm sorry."_

 _She knows she did the wrong thing by going into her Ana's office without permission but as much as I want to scold her I don't. I can't, not when she was trying to do something nice for her mother._

 _I hug her to me to calm her down getting myself wet in the process._

" _Come on sweetheart let's get you cleaned up and dry."_

 _I take her little hand in mine and lead her back to her bathroom where I start the shower. I remove the bathrobe she put on, stick her under the running water and scrub all the damn glitter off which was not that easy to do, let me tell you. I had to use some god damn awful smelling body scrub twice on her to get her completely clean._

 _I enter her bedroom to grab her some clothes and smile as I stare at the wall just inside her wardrobe. Phoebe wanted her walls painted a pale purple colour last year and insisted that I paint it together with her as a joint project._

 _I have never painted anything in my life but I think I did a pretty good job with it; however Miss Grey wanted to paint too. Now I didn't want to tell her no but at the same time all I could imagine was the major mess that would occur. In the end we came to a compromise. I paint her bedroom walls and she paints inside her wardrobe. She was ecstatic that day and ended up with more paint on herself than the walls but it was worth it to see her smile and she is so proud of those few uneven messy strokes._

 _Once I have her clean, dry and dressed I tell her to go down to start cleaning the mess she made in Ana's office and I'll be there in a minute to help her._

 _I check on Ana first to find her still fast asleep on the couch in the family room. She has been getting over a cold and still obviously not feeling a hundred percent even though she insists she's fine, my stubborn wife. I cover her with the throw blanket, place a soft kiss on her temple and turn off the movie before quietly leaving the room and going to find my daughter._

 _Phoebe is on the floor picking up all the bits and pieces that fell out of the large plastic box where Ana keeps the craft things that are especially for our homemade birthday cards._

 _It all started after Teddy was born and Ana made me a homemade card for my birthday that year with his little hand and foot prints inside of it. Since then it's become tradition that both Ana and I together with the kids make each other birthday cards._

 _Once I've vacuumed all the stupid glitter up I sit down with Phoebe to help her make the card. Work can wait for an hour. Quality time with my daughter is what matters right now. Hopefully by the time we're done Ana will have woken up._

 _As I'm cutting out pink hearts for Phoebe to glue onto the red cardboard she surprises me with am unexpected question._

" _Daddy, why did you marry mommy?"_

 _Well shit, I can't exactly tell her that her mother gives me a constant hard on._

" _Well, because she makes me very happy and we love each other very much, I also think she makes me a better person when I'm with her. Your mother has the kindest and biggest heart of anybody I ever met and because she is the most beautiful woman in the world. I wanted to be with her and only her forever."_

" _Oh, okay then. But I'm never getting married. Boys are stupid and they smell like Teddy. I'm never going to leave home, daddy. You are the best boy in the world ever. I love you more than the universe." She says to me as she hugs me around the neck._

 _Glad to hear that. I won't have to worry about some little fucker coming to sniff around her._

" _So what are you going to do if you're not going to get married?" I ask her as we continue to work on the card._

" _Come work at Grey House and take over Ros' job of course."_

 _I laugh out loud. Well at least my position is safe for now but I should warn Ros to watch her back. Her goddaughter will be coming for her._

That has become a memory I will treasure forever.

Everything my Phoebe ever made included lots of glitter, she loved the stuff and it's no surprise that she has used it for her wedding decorations.

Keeping my gaze on the dance floor my eyes move to Ana who is dancing with Theodore. As I watch my wife of thirty years twirl around in her navy dress which shows off her still incredible body I don't notice that Phoebe has snuck up beside me until I feel her hand on my arm.

"Dad, stop hiding and come dance with me."

"Who said I'm hiding?" I grumble knowing I've been caught.

I lead her back out onto the dance floor and take my baby girl in my arms. The arms that have cradled and protected her since the day she was born.

"I know you dad, you're getting all sentimental and emotional. You're not losing me, daddy. I mean you bought me a house not ten minutes away from you and mom. I promise I'll still be around and you will see me at work every day, so I don't know what you're getting all worked up and upset about."

I couldn't be prouder of my baby girl. She has studied and worked so hard over the years that she now joins me at GEH as head of the accounting department. She has a natural knack for numbers. Teddy took over Ros' position when she retired three years ago and I'm grooming him slowly to take over. The company is in safe hands between the two of them.

As I guide her across the floor I think about all the daughter father dances we have had over the years, with her stepping on my feet as I twirled her around. She always felt so grown up when I would dance with her this way. Me in a suit and her in one of her pretty dresses.

"I suppose it's the knowledge that you've grown up so much and too quickly for my liking, you're really starting your own life away from your mother and me. You'll always be my little girl and I couldn't be prouder of you. If I haven't told you already you look beautiful, Phoebe. Like a princess."

"Thank you and you have told me about five times now, but you can tell me again."

Sassy just like her mother.

"You know, looking around at all the glitter I was reminded of that day when you had a glitter shower."

She starts laughing. The best sound in the whole world after Ana's giggle is the sound of my children's laughter.

"Oh my gosh, I remember that, I was soaking wet when I came to your office. I was so scared it would be stuck on me forever."

"Well then, it's a good thing I was there to save the day."

"Yes, you did. You were and still are my hero." She kisses me on the cheek.

She's going to make me cry, damn it.

"I love you sweetheart. More than the universe."

"I love you too, daddy."

I kiss her on the forehead and continue with our dance, trying to stop time for just a minute but knowing the song will end soon enough and she will move on to her next dance partner.

After our dance I give her a soft kiss on her cheek and let her go back to her husband while I reclaim my wife.

"If I may?" I say to Teddy interrupting them.

He bows and hands his mother over.

"She's all yours."

I take my beautiful wife into my arms and hold her close as she wraps her arms around my neck.

"Hello, Mrs Grey."

I place a lingering kiss on her perfect and plump pink lips.

"Hello there handsome. You know you shouldn't be holding me so close. My husband is around somewhere and he's the jealous type."

"Ha, Ha, Ha. Very funny."

I tap her on the ass for that comment.

"How are you doing? I know today hasn't been easy for you."

I look over towards Phoebe and her husband Jordan who are dancing and smiling at each other.

"Surprisingly better than I thought. I'll forever see her as that little girl in pigtails who loved watching The Little Mermaid and wanted daddy's French toast every Saturday though."

I had once asked Gail to teach me how to make French toast so I could surprise Ana in bed with breakfast. To my surprise Phoebe was also in our room when I returned and shared her mother's breakfast. It must have been good because Phoebe constantly asked for it after that.

"I'm glad to hear that and oh my gosh, she must have eaten triple her weight in French toast over the years. She sure did love it."

I glance back at Phoebe once more before staring into my wife's blue eyes. It feels as if no time at all has passed since our wedding and here we are dancing at our daughter's.

"She looks so much like you did on our wedding day. I can't believe it's been thirty years, they seem to have flown by and you are still the most beautiful woman in the world to me. We did good, Mrs Grey, our children are happy and loved. What more could I ask for?"

"He's a good man, Christian. You know he loves her and will take care of her. Try not to worry so much. You, Mr Grey are a wonderful father, your children could not have asked for anything more. And I know when the time comes you will make an even better grandfather. You will spoil them rotten. I can't wait, it will be great having little ones around again and we can give them back to their parents this time around."

I groan upon hearing that. It is an image I don't need in my head.

"Can we not talk about our children reproducing right now please."

She just giggles in response and kisses me.

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

After saying goodbye to Phoebe and all the guests which took longer that it should have, I'm exhausted.

They are spending two weeks in Tahiti for their honeymoon. Jordan is a doctor at the hospital and can't take any more time off than that. They met at the Coping Together Ball about three years ago and that was it. It took one look and she was smitten ever since. She must take after me, I fell for her mother upon first sight too.

It's about two in the morning when Ana and I finally walk into our bedroom at home. She asked me to unzip her dress and disappeared into the closet.

I strip out of my tux and shirt leaving my boxer briefs on and pull the covers back while stifling a yawn, preparing to lay down.

Ana comes out of the walk-in closet in nothing but body glitter shimmering on her and a pair of red, shiny glittery shoes with a silver stiletto heel.

She leans against the door and lifts one foot up off the floor and points it towards me.

"I bought these thinking we could have a little fun."

 _Fuck yeah! I'm wide awake now and so is my dick._

At fifty eight years old I may not go at it daily like I used to but we still have a very active and healthy sex life. I continue to run every morning and work out to keep fit and it shows according to my wife.

"Oh, Mrs Grey, get those legs over here and around my head.

She saunters over to me swaying her hips. When she is close enough I sit down on the edge of the bed, grab her hips and bring her core towards my face. She smells like strawberries and my Ana. I run my nose down her folds before sticking out my tongue and tasting her.

She grips my hair tightly and lets out a soft moan of pleasure.

I move and spin Ana around, setting her ass on the edge of our bed as I kneel before her spread legs then place them over my shoulders, the metal heels feeling cold against my warm skin.

"I love the shoes, baby. You are not to wear these out in public because I cannot guarantee that I will behave."

I dive in lapping up her juices, tasting her arousal which has been my favourite delicacy in the world for years now. I feast on her as she writhes on the bed. I know my wife, and know she prefers it when I have some stubble on my face because she loves the way it scratches her skin when I'm going down on her but unfortunately I had to shave for the wedding.

Entering her body with my tongue over and over again I bring her to the brink of orgasm before sucking on her clit sharply. Thank god it doesn't take me long to get her coming and screaming because my knees couldn't take much more in that position.

She crawls backwards until she's fully onto the bed. I take off my briefs and join her on it, climbing on top of her.

Ana grabs my cock stroking it up and down and running her thumb across the head as I kiss my way around her beautiful body. I pay particular attention to her stretch marks on her stomach that housed and grew our children and her breasts which fed them.

After giving birth she was very self-conscience about the changes in her body so I have always made sure to tell her how beautiful she is and that I love her. She is an incredible woman and I still can't believe how lucky I am that I met her and got her to fall in love with me.

The body glitter she put on is rubbing off on to me but I don't care, we'll be sparkly together.

"Christian," She starts to beg and that's when I know she can't wait any longer.

"I've got you, baby."

I line myself up at her entrance and swiftly enter her. It feels like home, it's fucking heaven on earth.

We move together, so attuned and accustomed to the others movements after so long. It's the little things that matter, a touch or caress, a whisper of a word, or a look.

My thrusts speed up, sliding in and out of her. I raise her legs with those fucking fantastic shoes and place them over my shoulders causing me to go deeper and hit just the right spot which has her closing her eyes and crying out in pleasure.

"Fuck, Ana. Yes….yes."

I feel her start to flutter and know she'll be reaching the point of no return and cuming around me very soon. I reach down between us to start rubbing her clit making her explode around my cock, her inner spasms have me twitching within her and then climaxing with a loud grunt, draining me of all I have to give her, my body shuddering over hers, my breaths coming out harshly.

In our post coital bliss we relax into the mattress holding onto each other.

"I love you so much, Anastasia. I can't wait for the next 30 years with you." I whisper to her staring into her blue eyes.

"I love you too, Christian and ditto." She runs her hands down my face and kisses me.

We fall asleep the same way we have since the day we got married. Her back facing me and touching my chest, my arms wrapped around her body with our fingers entwined.

Life is still good.

 **THE END**


	8. Entry 7: Mrs Caron

.  
 **ENTRY NUMBER SEVEN**

* * *

 ** _~The Sandman~_**

"You're squirting, Susannah. You're squirting everywhere."

The room filled with a moan that came from the far end. "If you don't tie that off now, our patient here, Mr. Donner, is going to bleed out." Dr. Christian Grey, chief anesthesiologist at Seattle Grace hospital, rolled his eyes, and turned his body away for the spectacle in front of him. He tossed his head back and laughed at the words he'd just spoken.

How ironic. Susannah squirting. Of course he was required to be here, to supervise the surgical rotation of the third year residents. That was expected. What was fucking beyond, was that his former submissive, and world class squirter, Dr. Susannah Roberts, was standing in his operating room. _What are the odds that Susannah, world's best throat, would end up here in my hospital for her residency, under me for her surgical rotation? That is some shitstorm Grey._ He took her in, swallowing slowly as he remembered the taste of her. She had such a fine ass, that had a tinge of peach when licked by a belt. Under you. _Funny, under me._

Having shared enough time with the future saviors of the hospital, "good luck," he sauntered out, adjusting himself through his blue scrubs.

"Christ… Dr. Grey. Excuse me." Christian turned to the voice behind him. Andrea, his favorite nurse, smiled politely. "You asked me to remind you to head down to PT to see your grandfather…"

"Yes, thank you Andrea. I'll head down now, before I start my weekend," and indulge in my latest obliging pet, the sweet skinned Leila.

xXx

Christian's Grandfather Trevelyan was a patient a few floors below, recovering from a broken hip. His dutiful, yet distant grandson, visited each day. The men had much to exchange, their relationship deep yet tender. Christian never shared himself with anyone, but felt most comfortable with this gentleman, Theodore, a wise soft-eyed genius, who peppered Christian with the only advice he really ever followed. Get into medical school and never look back. You were born to ease people's pain. Christian had done just that, administering drugs to dull pain, release anxiety, check out. He exited the elevator, and walked down the hall, turning into the physical therapy unit, the lightest he'd felt all day.

"Holy fuck!" Christian slowed to a halt at the sight in front of him. A vision. He was caught off guard by a massage therapist administering to an amputee. A brunette goddess-with the most delicate hands-and he'd yet to see her face. She was in the midst of an intense massage, her long hair veiled around her bowed head, as she focused on the skin below her. Christian was mesmerized. _Look up baby, let me see that pretty face._ And she did. Her baby blues met his. "Shit…" She squinted at him—yup, he'd said that out loud—and she slowly bit down on her plump bottom lip to stifle a smile. It hadn't mattered. Christian had already fallen. Smitten by her sweet demeanor, and those kneading hands. His chest tingled just looking them. He was mesmerized, watching her work. Her hands moved with deft authority. As she squeezed flesh between her fingers and tugged back forcefully, he felt his torso lurch toward her. But even her kind demeanor and inviting face were no match for his darkness. While his instinct was to rush to her, and rip her hands from the asshole's body she was treating, he never would. He'd never let her see him for what he was…

"Can I help you?" she asked. Had a truer sentence ever been spoken in the English language? Christian was speechless. "You're staring Dr. Grey." She knew his name, _what's that about?_

Suddenly, he heard his grandfather, "Chris, I thought that was you?" _Goodbye angel._

"Grandfather, great to see you. How are you today?" They had a pleasant enough visit, but Christian really couldn't recall anything they'd discussed. He couldn't get that beautiful massage therapist out of his mind. For the rest of the day.

xXx

As Friday evening descended on Seattle, Christian made his way from the car park to the main lobby at Escala, ready to dive into Leila, his sub would be arriving in a few hours. What's this? The brunette beauty appeared beside him, entering Escala as well. She smiled again, but this time, Christian was ready, and flashed her his best panty-dropping smile. She started a laugh, but caught herself when Vincent, the concierge, spoke to her. "Good evening Miss Steele. How are you?"

 _Steele. Nice, her name. But what's this?_ Vincent and she shared a look. _Is she fucking the goddamn concierge?_ Christian bellowed out "hello" as he stepped in the elevator, pivoting to allow her in past him. Again his megawatt smile.

The angel with the perfect hands scooted past him and practically whispered, "I know who you are."

"I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage. I'm Christian…"

"Grey. I know. Everyone knows who you are. You like to fuck. Hard." She fake smiled. A nervous laugh escaped his lips as he stared at her like she was from a distant galaxy. "Where did you…"

"I'm Anastasia Steele." _And I'll be goddamned if she didn't just press my floor._

"Ana, I live on…"

"Yea, I know, I'm going to the twenty-ninth floor too. It's Anastasia. Only my _friends_ call me Ana." She corrected him.

"Oh, right. Anastasia. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage. How do you know who I am? And that I like, excuse me, what you said?" This little girl is full of surprises, he thought to himself. _Those soft tender hands are connected to that smart mouth. I'd like to fuck that smart… no I don't think I would. Christ, yes I would, but only if she wanted me to. I think I'd like to hear what she has to say. What the fuck Grey? Never going to happen. Ana Steele just told you to go fuck yourself, she's not going anywhere with you. As if I'd ever ask. Sweet and tenacious._ It was unnerving for her to be there. "Miss Steele, how are you here? Do you know someone in the building?"

"My stepfather, Raymond Steele, recently passed away." She looked tragic and pained as she said it. "I'm staying in his apartment for the time being, until I decide what to do with it."

"Oh." Again, his body wanted to move toward her, to what? Instead, he mumbled, "I'm sorry for your loss Miss Steele." They rode the rest of the way up to the top of Escala without words. He maintained his silence out of self-preservation. His mind, focused on clear liquids, viscosity, ccs and millimeters and logarithms of dosing. Maybe it's the elevator's tight quarters. Seeing her hands knotted together, Christian could only think how he'd love to touch those hands. He never touched his submissives' hands, they were always restrained in one way or another. Bound, simply because he did not want their hands on him. He wanted to be free of touch, from anyone.

And yet, in the stifling confines of this endless elevator ride, Christian Grey wanted nothing more than to touch Anastasia, _'Ana to her friends.'_ This girl, with her amazing long fingers, and kind demeanor. HE wanted to touch HER. He had to get out of the elevator, he was about to expire. "Good night Miss Steele." Ms. Williams better be ready and waiting, he soothed himself with the thought.

xXx

A week passed uneventfully and fortunately, Christian felt, he hadn't run into _the_ Anastasia Steele again. Each day that'd followed the "fuck hard" encounter in his building's lobby, Christian had changed his routine, deviated from the norm, to avoid seeing her. His Ana. _Pathetic Grey. She's a normal human. She'd never be interested in your darkness, and you'd never spoil her with it. Although, I would like feeling what it would be like to spoil her._

The following week changed everything.

He saw Anastasia Monday, in the D wing elevator, and he couldn't breath, just sharing the same air was too much. She'd looked withdrawn, the twinkle in her eye missing. Wednesday, he spied her running through the park, at 6am , head down, past her hands on her knees. He'd approached her, but she waved him on, her hair looked stringy and out of order. This past Thursday, they were alone, sharing the Escala gym—at 445 in the morning—exchanging nods and tight smiles. She looked bad. She almost reminded Christian of his birth mom, pale and sad. He wondered… is she no longer working?

"HI Anastasia. It's good to see you."

"Good morning Dr. Grey. How are you?" she was very polite, a little stand offish, stretching with a foam roller. She had a perfect tight little body.

"Call me Christian." He huffed in her direction. He diverted his eyes, the hollowness in her own was too much. _I think she's ill._

"How are you Christian?" Hearing his name from her mouth was, soul scratching. _It's not just her hands I need. I need? Dream on asshole._

"I'm good, very good. I'm fine, I just finished, and I'm surprised to see you here. Anastasia, you look very tired." Her eyes widened in surprise. _No, angel, don't retreat._ "I'm sorry, I just thought, you look different."

She laughed and tossed her head back, revealing her creamy pale neck, which pinked as she spoke. "I'm just tired. Exhausted really." She paused and cocked her head, staring at Christian. "How long before you can be officially diagnosed with insomnia? I mean, I haven't been sleeping well. I'm not surprised you noticed. I hope it goes away soon. I think I'm just sad is all." This time, Christian wasn't going to deny his body again. _Baby, no._ He floated toward her, and stopped, just inches in front of her.

"You're not sleeping?" She shook her head. _Fuck, she needs to sleep. Does she not have a physician caring for her?_ "Well, why don't you start monitoring when you do sleep. If you see a pattern, we can get a sleep specialist involved and find a solution. Hopefully it just passes." His finger tips crackled to touch her skin, but he pushed them into his pockets. She nodded a thank you, and the awkward moment dissolved on its own. They spent the rest of the morning talking about work.

"I'm a healing message therapist," she explained. "It's hard to describe, really. I adopted several styles into my own that I find most helpful to those who need it. A Chinese technique." Her voice was melodious, calming and true. "I pull the pain out, absorb it myself, briefly, and then I flush it out later, when the patient is relaxed." She paused, as if deciding to reveal a little more of herself. "To be honest, I haven't been working, I'm taking some personal time. This whole sleep thing is driving my body crazy." Christian thought, _you have a crazy body_ , but he also felt something more than attraction. He felt... longing. _I can make her better. I want to make her better. To touch her the way she_ … _fuck! The way just her_ _ **being**_ _, has touched me._ Her admission hung between them like an opaque veil, while Christian's eyes roamed every dip and curve of her exposed skin. His instinct forced him to retreat, and with a lame excuse uttered, he quickly departed.

Somehow, Christian managed to make it back to his apartment, just barely, before he disrobed and quickly climaxed alone in his shower, to the vision of Ana. Only in his vision, his hands were caressing _her_ , holding _her_ , pulling _her_ body close to his. "Oh, Ana. Fuck, Ana." He finished his shower, a little shocked by his teenaged control, or lack of it. He groaned to himself. He had no future with this woman. He had to quit thinking about her, but he was worried now, and he knew she needed someone, something. She simply must sleep. There were years Christian went without decent sleep. Only the necessity and routine of his work drove him to find a healthy sleep, and the occasionally exhausting sub. He scowled at himself for thinking of subs, while he considered Ana's wellbeing. _What the fuck!_ He simply couldn't begin to worry about Anastasia's sleep routine. _She's too good for your shit, and you can't worry about her any more._ "The shit has to stop!"

xXx

Friday night , mere minutes before Ms. Williams was to appear for his weekend diversion, Christian Grey found himself down the hall from his apartment, meds in hand, knocking on Anastasia's door. He barely heard her soft footsteps approach. As the door pulled back, a small grungy-looking dog pushed around to face him, wagging its tale. _Great, another fucking reason to tie this off._ Dogs like to jump and lick. Of course, his Ana had a dog.

Ana smiled at him. "Christian, hi. What are you doing here?"

"When did they start allowing dogs in the building?"

"Oh, this is Sophie, she's a therapy dog." She looked away, "She was Ray's, my step dad's therapy dog." She bit her lower lip as she stepped back to allow Christian entrance. "Ray was a veteran. He had severe PTSD. Sophie helped wake him up before his nightmares could take over. I just couldn't give her away. She helped him so much." As she wiped a stray tear away, Christian's hand reached up to meet hers, and he squeezed. At the contact, her eyes darted to his. And he felt himself actually blushing. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, Christian. It's only temporary. Please. Don't say anything." Christian watched his hand continue to hold hers, while he nodded to her entreaty. He was touching her warm skin, and it felt, right. He pictured licking the tears off her fingers and kissing each one. His cock was amendable to that plan, and he shifted, embarrassed. _But why?_ And just as he began to pull her toward him. He registered what she'd actually said. _She's apologizing to me? She's killing me here. Make this quick Grey._

He swallowed and started to say his piece. Short and sweet Grey.

"Of course Ana. I will keep your secrets." _You'll never know mine_. "I was thinking about our conversation and your unfortunate sleep deprivation." He eyed their now intertwined fingers, and took a step back, dropping her hand. "Here, these are samples, a sleep aid. These should help you sleep, get you back into your routine. Take one every night before bed."

Ana slowly reached up to take the bundle of samples. She swallowed hard. "Thank you Dr. Grey. I appreciate it. You're very thoughtful." She paused and crinkled her brow. Christian had to bite the inside of his cheek, to keep himself from leaning in to brush his lips across it. "Christian, about what I said in the elevator that night…" Oh god, his stomach twisted at the same time his ears tingled. _Leave now! She's not for you. You're definitely not for her._

"Water under the bridge, Miss Steele. Now get some rest. Good night." There. Done. Back to my life. She must be out of my life, away from the gym, my early runs, and I won't have to see her. He just wanted her healthy after all. Her skin to get its rosy glow back. He just wanted her happy. _Sure, lie to yourself Grey. You'll see her soon enough, in the all too real dreams that have replaced your nightmares._ _ **My life, my fucking life.**_ Ana was all he dreamt of now. But he knew if he spent any significant time with her, the little light left in her eyes would surely be snuffed out forever by his darkness, his secrets, and the monster inside would destroy her. No, it was much better to have only the Ana of his mind as his constant companion. There was no danger of death, in his imagination. No danger of disappointment as well. Dread or betrayal.

xXx

Days passed and Christian found his work routine was enough to keep him moving forward. And Miss Steele was nowhere to be seen. Grandfather Trevelyan had been discharged, and their visits resumed at Christian's childhood home, over Sunday spaghetti dinner. Awkward was the word his brother used to describe the visits. HIs mother was more circumspect: "Christian, you seem pre-occupied. I heard about your run in with that, what was she, an ex-girlfriend? Dr. Roberts… you never mentioned her. But Dr. Powers said you paid for her medical school? Is that true, darling? Why would you do that."

Gratefully, Christian didn't think Grace really wanted any of her questions answered. She was just trying—and failing—to connect. Christian was no more going to tell her about Susannah, than he was about Ana. _Why would I suppress Ana's existence from my family? She's nothing._ _ **Liar**_ _! A temporary neighbor who can't sleep. Yet, I want to protect her, secret her from my life as well?_ He came home from Sunday dinner, sullen and defeated. He couldn't have Ana, ever. Christian didn't even recall the previous two days. That Leila had been with him all weekend, silent and raw. Her punishments harsher than ever before, but not the least bit remarkable to him. _Ana._

Christian was watching television, working really—a dvd of a few interlocking drip techniques, a worthy distraction, when he heard a knock outside his apartment. Gail, his house keeper, had long retired to her quarters. At the door, Christian peered through the lens, and his heart sank. There was Ana, looking exhausted and shaken. His girl was broken. Open door, grab Ana, slam her against his body, and kiss her back to life. Instead, his hand gripped the knob and he leaned his forehead against the door and sighed, exhaling deliberately. He turned his head back and forth in frustration. _I'm sorry baby. I can't give you any more medication._

The entire week, he'd tossed and turned over his rash and purely selfish decision to medicate his beauty. To relieve her sleepless fog with the haze of drugs. He was a coward really, a history-repeating, stone cold selfish prick. Instead of comforting her, he'd offered her a light coma, a little dizzy side-effect, and definitely no strings attached. _Is she my crack-whore mother, and I'm her dealer. Asshole!_ He was sure poor Leila's body bore the brunt of his guilt—his choice to push pills on a young innocent woman, merely grieving, over the death of a loved one. _A loved one._

He paused a beat. "Just a minute." He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled back the door. Cocking his head, he presented an open mouth smile, free of emotion, it didn't reach his eyes. "Ana," gulp "stasia. Hi, what's wrong. Come in, come on in." And she brought the goddamn dog. He smiled a genuine smile. _She's adorable._ He thought to himself, 'I can do this, I'll let a little of my privacy slip, and tell her my mistake about the meds.'

"Dr. Grey." She whispered, and his dick vibrated. _Sick fuck, she's ill._

He licked his lips, "Christian, please call me Christian. We are neighbors after all." _Let me hear you say it, baby._

"Hi Christian," she blushed, and stumbled forward into the foyer, her eyes down and possibly a bit moist. Fuck, if he wasn't full of emotion just taking in her appearance. Her submissive posture was tempting his cock, while her vulnerability was threatening his existence. _Distance Grey, keep your distance, but look at her, she deserves a little love._ What. The. Actual. Fuck!

"I can't sleep, sir." _Sir? Jesus Christ._ He pulled his hair to center himself. "I'm so sorry. I tried the pills, and frankly I didn't like how I felt in the morning, so I quit taking them, and now I just can't get all these thoughts out of my head, and I've been awake since Thursday. I came over Friday, but there was no answer. And I thought maybe you were out of town." She giggled, "I guess I may have stalked you, cause your car never moved. Where were you this weekend, if you didn't drive? Did you go into the hospital? Do you have surgeries on Saturdays? Oh, I made lasagna. Here," she passed him a tray draped in foil. She's lovely, he thought. Exhausted and still so fucking incredible, his chest ached. _And she cooked for me. Without a contract. You're an idiot._ She retreated back into the hallway, and popped back up. "And a kale salad. It'll keep for two days. I didn't know if you ate carbs, or anything, or if you were a caveman." Her eyes lowered and raised, taking in his anatomy. His hand automatically moved to cover his groin. _Shit, she's checking me out. Christ, what is she doing to me?_

And so, Ana Steele stood in his foyer, her dinner entrees between them. What should he do with her? _She looks exhausted. Her body can't even stand still, she's swaying back and forth._ Christian was at a loss. He couldn't exactly fuck her into oblivion, til she passed out from euphoria. Well, he could, but she probably wouldn't like that. He groaned slightly at the thought. _I wouldn't like that either._ I have nothing. Nothing to offer this delicate creature. His mouth disagreed. "Here, let's take these to the kitchen. It smells very good… An… Anastasia." Nice.

Christian and Ana briefly discussed the food she'd prepared, and Christian admitted he'd already eaten. Ana had as well, she giggled. "Oh well, it's the thought that counts, right Christian."

"And what thoughts would those be, Anastasia?" He couldn't help himself. He was aroused and chastened at once. _How do I get out of this, I can't want her. I can't_ _ **be**_ _with her. It's pointless. But she's here for a reason. She needs you. And I want to need her._ He grit his teeth and felt revulsed by his own choices. _You are damaged beyond anything in her imagination. Get her to sleep, and be done with her._ _Does she want to sleep with me? Selfish prick, of course not. She wants your help. Doctor, you shit!_

"I think it'd be alright if you call me Ana, okay?" And he was done. Her sincere blue eyes pierced him to the bone, his nose tickled, and he reacted by snorting to correct the tornado of emotion swirling up his center. _I want you. I want to be with you._ His hands reached forward and clasped hers. He smiled, returning her sincerity. _I hate my life_.

"Come," he pulled at her, "let's see if we can figure out a way for you to fall asleep. I just happen to have a wonderful idea."

She shrugged her shoulders, and nodded okay, letting him guide her into his spacious living room.

They settled into a deep sofa, and Christian doted on her, arranging pillows and a blanket around her body, so she'd be comfortable. As he finished his nesting and made to leave, her small hand pressed into his forearm. "Aren't you staying?" Her touched seared into his arm, sending volts of electricity everywhere, he felt his non-existent heart break into a million pieces.

 _Oh sweetheart, if it's sleep you're after, you don't want to be anywhere near me after midnight._ His face betrayed his melancholy. Of course he wanted to stay. "Yes, baby." Being around her, in any capacity, was just _The Best._ "I know just the thing too. Before your arrival, I was watching a scintillating documentary on rapid sequence induction. You'll love it." He laughed at himself. _That's new._ He unpaused the movie, and took a huge breath to prepare himself for what was next.

He reclined beside her on the sofa, she moved a large pillow onto his lap and laid her head down. "Do you mind if I lie like this? I think I need the contact." She chuckled, then twisted a bit to find his large hand, pulling it to her side. "There, is this alright? _Hmmmm_." He squeezed her hip. She hummed. Gazing down upon her, in his lap, he watched the scene motionless, as though from a great distance. _This is really happening. I'm on the couch with my peaceful angel. She appears content and unthreatened by me._ With his free hand, he pushed her silky locks behind her ear, and continued to rub his fingers there, in a slow lulling rhythm. Her beautiful skin was the softest thing he'd ever touched. Within minutes, they were both fast asleep.

For four nights, Sunday through Wednesday, Ana appeared at Christian's door. Each night, they ended in the same spot on the sofa, where Ana promptly fell asleep in his arms. Friday morning, Christian woke to a surprising sight and the most amazing feeling. Ana was cuddling Christian's hand. Overnight, she'd pulled his arm into her chest, where she gripped his wrist with both of her hands. He felt euphoric. He flexed his fingers and felt the delicate skin of her neck. He shook his head at the sight. _She is beyond any doubt the most beautiful woman in the world. She is good and pure and the truest thing I have ever known. And this must end._ Over those nights, Christian had begun to consider the possibility that they could be together. That he could possibly give something to Ana. She clearly had everything to give to him. What held him back, the but to his acquiescence, was his life. His lifestyle, his past choices, fucking up his future.

'You like to fuck… hard.' She'd said it within moments of introducing herself to him. She knew. Someone, somewhere had violated an NDA and shared the fucked up details of his lifestyle with his Ana. He understood what had happened. She'd drawn a line in the elevator that day. Hell, if she hadn't drawn the line, now, knowing her the way he knew her now-her fucking huge heart, her caring mind and selflessness-he would have drawn a new line every fucked up time he greeted her.

 _Fuuuuuck, it's Friday._ Leila was due at Escala later that night. _This is crazy. Anastasia's not for you._ If he tried to be with her, managed to find a higher plane to exist with her. He knew he wouldn't survive it. He'd never survive her leaving him—which she surely would—when she'd worked it all out in her pretty little head. Christian even managed to convince himself, for a moment or two that Ana was simply using him, to process the loss of her stepfather. He laughed at the absurdity. _She feels it too. She wants you to be different. Impossible. It was impossible._

Summoning his Dom side, he stood with her in his arms, whistled for Sophie to come on, and led the way back to her apartment. He fumbled with the key Ana'd given him, "in case you need more honey," she'd said, and pushed his way into her place.

He was unaware of the decor or furnishing as he walked through her home. He looked solely at her, laying asleep in his arms. Drinking in the last moments of their shared intimacies. _She's not for me. She's someone else's angel._ He pushed through her bedroom door. In three strides, he was at her bedside, lowering her down, managing to adjust the bedding around her without a single grope. From his knees, he looked upon her as though in benediction. _God she's lovely._ He leaned over her, propping himself up on strained arms, and hovered. Memorizing every detail, every feature. He loved her. Of that he was sure. Enough to let her go.

He bent down and brushed her mouth with his lips, and whispered. "I love you Ana." He pressed their lips together, and paused, to memorize what her breath felt like as it tickled the bow of his mouth. He inhaled her morning scent, _heaven. My Ana_.

And finally he kissed her, a long slow kiss goodbye, pushing his tongue through her lips in a languorous stroke. He whimpered. "I love everything about you." He took her hand into his and caressed her fingers with his face, imprinting the feel of her fingerprints, the bend of her fingers, the curve of her palm. "Goodbye." He rose slowly and quietly exited her life.

xXx

That Friday proceeded uneventfully, thankfully. Leila appeared at 9 pm, dressed so wantonly, like a cheap hooker, it made Christian cringe. He was merciless, for hours bringing her to the brink, only to leave her crying and begging for release. _Fuck her!_ He moved through his floggers and cats, without so much as a moment's hesitation. Her aftercare took a full hour. And he was unsatisfied. Full of dark thoughts and a churning stomach. _See, this is why? This is why Ana. You are safe without me._ By Saturday morning, he was done. Finished with Leila, with everything. Just having this sub in his apartment was upsetting. He was off balance, Ana had texted the night before and he'd ignored it. This morning there were several, each more curious than the last. He calculated, how long would he have to keep this up before she'd understand? See that his distance was the best for her?

"Ms. Williams, I'd like you to pack your things, our arrangement is over."

"Mr. Grey, what? You want to end… this" Christian walked away from her turning into his study. He grabbed the door and poked his head back out into the hall. He called to her, from an angle, so he couldn't see her shattered face. He was a monster, the way he'd treated her body last night. She had to leave. It was clear she was never going to safe word, and until Ms. Steele ( _fuck, I can't even think about her in the same sentence as Leila),_ until Ms. Steele moved out of his life— _her proximity to me diminished—I can't be responsible._ He'd lost control. "You'll need to find a new contract, Ms. Williams, with another Dom. I'm no longer available." He closed the door and sat quietly, patiently, waiting until he heard Ms. Williams exit.

When her sobbing became plaintive, he realized he'd have to appear to care. _What does she want? She knows the drill. She must have sensed this falling apart. I've asked her to maintain silence for the past two weekends._ He approached and called out her name, "Leila..." just then they both turned their heads to the sound of knocking at the front door.

"Christian?" His eyes snapped to Leila's which had raised to meet his. Another knock. "it's Ana." Leila's dull eyes widened, in surprise. _She knows something._ "Are you home?" _What could Leila possibly know?_ Christian lunged at her, quickly pressing her into the opposite wall, his hand firmly over her mouth. He stared her down and shook his head. His Ana had sought him out, she can never know of my twisted life.

"Christian? Can you hear me?"He brought his finger to his mouth and nodded no again. _She cannot find you here._ His Ana sounded sad, forlorn _. I should have Leila in a ball gag,_ he thought to himself. Slowly, Ana's footsteps moved away, back to her end of the building, and Christian exhaled. "Ms. Williams, goodbye."

xXx

Christian made it through the next week, just barely. His surgical schedule had been lighter than usual, and he'd found himself spending time at him parent's house, avoiding Escala all together. His Saturday night alone, following Leila's departure, had been fine, and Sunday as well. But Monday morning, he couldn't avoid Escala's elevator any longer. He cursed Ana's perfume, that lingered there in their shared hallway, while he waited for the elevator to arrive. It tormented him and his godforsaken choices. Tuesday, he bought a coffee in the hospital gift shop, another first, and a bone shaped cookie as well. _Fuck me, I'm losing my mind_.

She was somewhere in his every waking moment, his first thought in the morning his last thought at night. Was she missing him? _Of course not, you bastard, you fed her drugs, pretended to give a shit, until she found sleep, and then you fucking dumped her back into her apartment._ He'd blocked her number for good measure, just to complete the circle of untrust he swore he now occupied with her. He was safe again in control. He thought.

xXx

Friday arrived and for once, Christian had no plans. No submissives, no family, no work obligations. No tender-hearted, sleepless brown haired beauty in need of his rescuing. No pale skin to touch. He shuddered a bit, at his loneliness. _You made this fucked up life Grey._ It was after 9, he'd opened an old bottle of red a bit ago, and was enjoying, _fuck_ , trying to enjoy the solitude of a very quiet and private Friday night as he sat at his piano. Ana's pillow sat nearby and _her_ blanket, draped across Christian's body. He'd made the right decision. _I'm no good for her._

His self-loathing reverie was interrupted by a small knock at the front of his apartment. _Leila, what the fuck?_ He shook his head. There was a second knock followed by a small whimper. _Ana?_ he jumped and bolted for the door. Panting and off balance, he slid into the jamb as he swung open the door. He looked down and his heart clenched.

She showed up at his door, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter.

* * *

 _ **Apologies to anyone who works in medicine. Alas, I do not, so I experienced no shame in revealing the harmless ignorance I possess.**_


	9. Entry 8: Pandoramia

.  
 **ENTRY NUMBER EIGHT**

* * *

 _ **~312~**_

 **CPOV** (OC but 22 years old)

It was 9:00 p.m. and Christian was seated in "The flying wish", the bar of the hotel he was staying in, it offered enough darkness and silence to get lost inside his own thoughts. He was drinking and sulking over the fact that, once again, his father didn't trust him, or didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. And once again, Elena Lincoln was the one offering what he needed. Last time was relief and control, this time money to start his own business.

He was staring at his shot of whisky and tossed the content down his throat, the strong amber liquid went down burning away the bitter taste of reality. The strong alcohol made him grimace but the warmness it provided was welcomed. He was thankful to have Elena, for her support, but he knew that what she has done for him wasn't all "good". He remembered the first time she bound him, how the panic invaded him, he could even smell the stinky cigarettes that left him marked when he was too little to fight back. Fortunately, Elena acted "nice" until he got used to it because he certainly needed those afternoons at her house to recover some control over his life.

He stopped pulling out of his inner depths such disturbing images and took another sip of the liquid fire. Well, at least someone in his life was taking a leap of faith, _or felt guilty enough because seduced a minor_. His face twitched with a smirk.

A loud noise interrupted his thoughts, drawing him out of himself. Some annoying group of people had arrived and marched to the back of the bar to have a loud party gathering, obliging everybody else to be part of it. He turned to look at them, they were just some young morons.

That word in his mind made him feel uneasy, _young_. Wasn't he _young_ too? No, _young_ was a concept that didn't apply to him even if he was just twenty-two. For Christian, life had been exhausting and long, that's why he dropped Harvard, couldn't take more bullshit from those spoiled and conceited boys that knew nothing about life but egotistically behaved as if they did.

He took the key card out of his pocket to see the number of his room, and yelled at the bartender pointing to his empty glass, "312." The bartender nodded, filling the glass of another customer. Christian wondered if he would end up like that man, serving others, condemned to regular jobs. Well, if things go wrong tomorrow he probably would, there was no way he was going to accept one cent from Carrick or Grace, not after the debacle he faced just because he knew what he wanted, not the same than them obviously, and his big brother Elliot was just starting his construction business.

Outside the hotel the street was empty and kind of dark, perfect to take a silent walk around the block and sober his head before calling Elena. After a few steps, he stopped, this time it was a different noise what interrupted his inner monologue, it was a sound of a scared female voice. Christian headed to that direction, that was a sound he couldn't ignore.

"No, Jose, please."

"Come on Ana, just one." The asshole insisted.

"No." That was pure angst, it made Christian shudder.

"I think the lady said no." He couldn't help it, young women in distress had that effect on him, it made him feel responsible for their safety somehow.

The boy that was forcing her into a kiss glared at Christian, the girl took advantage of the sudden interruption to run and hide behind his back.

"And who the hell are you?" The voice of the prick was threatening. _Really, asshole_?

"He is my cousin, Jose, he's a taekwondo black belt, you better go." _Nice try, sweetheart, but_ _that's not the way to stop a fight_.

"I know your family, he's not…" This time his voice was too much for Christian's patience.

"Just fuck off and leave her alone!"

The young moron, he was probably one of them, opened his eyes surprised by Christian's tone of voice, cold and menacing. After a few seconds of the staring battle with each other without saying a word, the boy huffed a pissed off breath and went inside the hotel muttering his annoyance.

"Thank you, I didn't need your help but thank you."

Christian smirked and turned around just to meet the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, they made it impossible to notice anything else. He was mesmerized by a clear and deep blue that made him feel as if he was drowning, he felt his soul momentarily unburdened of the darkness that had so long tormented him.

Shaking his head Christian recovered quickly. "Actually, I was helping him. Don't think he knows, though."

Tilting her head and raising an eyebrow, she regarded his face thoughtfully. He knew what would be next, female admiration then flirting. He was sure the small and pretty brunette, now he noticed more than her eyes, would be as predictable as the rest of her kind.

"Ugh!"

No, there wasn't any admiration in that grimace, more like displeasure.

 _What the hell?_

For the first time in his life he was getting that reaction from a woman, actually it wasn't the first time but he refused to remember the woman that was supposed to love him and showed him rejection, his biological mother. Oddly, this girl looked like her but wasn't her, so maybe he had something on his teeth, or his face? _Or maybe she saw my ugly soul_.

Christian passed his tongue over his teeth discreetly but didn't feel anything unusual, brushed his hand over his cheeks and chin, nothing there either. Then what?

"Are you wearing makeup?"

"Makeup?"

"You know, that thing you put in your face to…"

"I know what makeup is." He barked at her, annoyed by her suggestion, or suggestions. He wanted to just go and continue his solitary walk, but also felt too curious to do it. "And no, I'm not wearing such a thing."

"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you, it's just… there is something about your face, it looks fake."

"Fake?" He was utterly surprised, there was nothing fake about his face, well, maybe the mask he had constructed with his own muscles and bones, always giving the impression he didn't give a fuck even if he was dying inside, like one second ago when he remembered his mother.

She studied his face again, this time she shuddered and turned her eyes away. Christian's instincts told him not to ask but curiosity is a strong impulse.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing… I have to go with my friends. Thanks again."

With one quick step he blocked her way to the door.

"Tell me."

"Why do you want me to tell you what you already know?"

And now he was sure, the girl was able to see straight through him, she was some sort of modern witch, he should run away from her.

She misread his surprise as interest and continued, "the mix of hurt and loss behind your eyes is something painful to watch."

It felt like a punch in the gut, he couldn't breathe. He swallowed hard the feeling of unsettlement, trying to recover his unaffected stance. He failed at that and it was evident because she reached over and touched Christian's face very sweetly, like if they were somehow intimate. Christian couldn't understand why his body hadn't reacted against her approaching hand, on the contrary, the warm feeling the caress unrolled on his chest was very welcomed.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to disturb you."

And with that she disappeared inside the hotel.

He pulled his own hair trying to find some relief in the painful sensation, and he finally did. He took a deep breath, gave a look to the door that engulfed her, and continued his lonely walk. She was all he could think about, the strangest experience he had ever had, even stranger than Elena kissing and slapping him that life-changing afternoon when he was fifteen years old.

She was right about something though, he knew what she was talking about. What affected him wasn't what she saw but the fact that she was able to see it. Nobody was able to see it, not even Elena or his family who saw his angriness and self-loathing. No, she saw the sad and lost boy that was thoroughly hidden deep inside him.

Christian didn't know how, but all of a sudden he was standing in front of the hotel, a few more steps and he was in front of the door that leads to the same bar he had left minutes ago. It was stronger than him, he needed to ask her how she did it, he needed to be sure that she was okay and the young moron was keeping some distance between his tongue and her mouth. If there is something everybody knows about witches, is that they all end up badly beaten by ignorance and fear, and this Millennium is still as barbaric as the previous one, if not worse.

The bar was as noisy as it was when he left, actually that was why he left, but he stepped into it discretely and sat at the counter ordering a beer. He wanted to be sober when calling Elena later that night, she wouldn't lend her husband's money to a drunken idiot, it wouldn't matter how guilty she feels. Christian really needed that money to start his Company and set him free from the Greys, the family that adopted him but had never really understood him.

He stared at the mirror in front of him, it was large, covering the entire wall surface. Glancing at his reflection he saw it, the falseness she had mentioned, and couldn't avoid a small smile. _Damn, it does look like make up_. Then he put his attention in the group of young morons and found her quickly. The only problem was… she found him too.

When he met her gaze, he felt drawn into her eyes, again. It was like all the myriad shades of blue swirled together to form a whirlpool of apprehension, he was being pulled into a lake of frozen emotions, frozen until her. Even from the distance he was able to feel it.

He could tell by her body language that she was NOT intimidated by the situation. That pleased him, after all he was kind of stalking her.

The bartender put the beer in front of Christian distracting him for a moment, he took a sip and looked again, she wasn't there anymore. _What the…_

"Are you spying on me?"

She was sat next to him, how the hell had she done it was out of his understanding.

"Are you from this world?"

All he got for answer was a laugh.

"Seriously, first reading minds and now you can fly?" _The flying witch_ , that should be the name of the bar.

This time she snorted and remained in silence for a few seconds before calling the bartender. "I want the same he is having."

They stared at each other through the mirror, it was unnerving since he knew what she could see. "I'm just perceptive, gray-eyes, obviously you are not used to be seen."

That annoyed him. "I'm always noticed, blue-eyes."

"I said seen… Thank you." The bartender smiled and winked while putting the beer in front of her, obviously flirting, something that annoyed him even more; the bartender hadn't noticed him. It was time for a change of subject.

"Was the boy behaving? And for your information, I AM a taekwondo black belt."

The smile on her face was as bright as her eyes, also causing the same effect, it was so unique that made it impossible to perceive anything else. "He's not here, apparently he left."

Christian looked for him in the reflection of the mirror but she was right, he wasn't there. Suddenly, he felt worried about the girl. What if the moron was stalking her, waiting for a good opportunity to "attack"?

"Don't worry, Jose is harmless."

Turning to look at her, Christian frowned his irritation. "Maybe you read faces but I read voices, you were scared out there."

Her eyes wide open in surprise gave him satisfaction, finally some familiar reaction. The girl lowered her head and stared at the bottle, her voice changed to a raspy whisper that was barely audible.

"Anyway, why are you here?"

"A beer." He answered with a nonchalant voice.

Her glance went up to find his in the mirror, she didn't buy it.

"I was right, you are not used to be seen. That's why you are here."

The unsettlement came back and he couldn't understand what he was doing there, exposing his soul to her again, the soul he didn't want exposed. Someone seeing him beyond his mask was a first, and he realized he wanted to continue that path to discover where it led, so he went for honesty.

"Yes."

"There is something tormenting you restlessly, the greyness of your eyes just matches the greyness of your mind."

Another punch, the girl had a way with words that always let him breathless.

"Why are you the only one seeing it?" He wanted to know, he didn't know what for since that piece of information would be useless.

"I already told you, I'm perceptive." She took a long sip and stared at him, this time directly to his eyes. "Or maybe I'm being tormented by similar demons and just recognize them behind your makeup."

"Mask."

"What?"

"I prefer the word mask, no makeup."

"Okay." She smiled fondly at him clearly amused by his annoyance, he got blinded by the brightness of her smile once again. The sensation was pleasant, he felt it unrolling on his chest again, his untouchable chest.

"I can't see your demons though, and I AM perceptive too."

Sighing deeply she looked down. "Because I stopped hiding them, somehow they leave you alone most of the day if you ignore them, even though they are still in there."

Christian understood, the witch had defeated her demons in a way but not completely. With his index finger he lifted up her head and saw it, the sadness behind her blueness, around it. He felt the strange urgency to wipe that angst off her face.

"Ugh!"

The smile was back and Christian felt ten feet tall.

Suddenly, a blond girl was standing next to them interrupting their moment and making him dislike her. "Ana, let's go, everybody is going up."

 _Ana? Her name was Ana?_ It was too short or too simple. Christian didn't know exactly what it was, but he couldn't identify her with that name. After all, she was a witch, probably a nice one but a witch nonetheless.

"Give me one minute, Kate." The blond friend nodded, then blushed when noticed Christian's stare and smiled coquettishly.

Now, THAT was the normal reaction. She turned around hesitantly and walked to the group of morons looking back a couple of times to check if he was still staring. She was attractive but somehow that beauty paled next to… Ana's. He knew the only blond in his life would be Elena, he couldn't find them desirable anymore.

He admitted to himself that didn't like the fact that the blonde eyed the man talking to Ana, even if he needed the reassurance that the witch was the only one 'seeing' him. Wasn't there a silent agreement between friends? Maybe she wasn't Ana's friend, but it was clear that his witch needed better people around her. _His witch_. Yes, she was already _his_ in a way he couldn't understand.

"She is beautiful, isn't she?"

She had obviously misunderstood his curiosity, there was also a hint of jealousy in her voice that amused Christian. She didn't want to share him.

Staring at Ana, wanting to see her reaction, he spoke slowly with a seductive voice. "You are beautiful, she is okay."

And there it was, the girl inside the witch, blushing profusely not knowing what to do with his compliment. He smirked in self-satisfaction.

Suddenly, Ana stood up and took her last sip of beer. His world was getting dark again, and he just noticed it because the momentary light was starting to fade. That realization alarmed him so he decided to let her go, not without offering his protective services first. He couldn't avoid it, the need to let an open door behind her was too strong.

"312."

"What?"

"My room, 312, if something happens and you need your cousin's help do not hesitate. 312, call me, I don't sleep."

Sighing, she caressed his arm.

"I know. Nightmares or insomnia?"

Of course she knew, that's why he came back.

"Both."

She leaned over to place a small kiss on his cheek, and Christian was again surprised by his body reaction. Every time someone tried to do that he had recoiled abruptly, instinctively, but his body wasn't afraid of the light witch, it let her do her thing enjoying the warm sensation. _Weird_.

"I already miss you," she whispered in his ear.

And with that, letting him shocked, she disappeared for the second time that night. He realized she was a woman he knew nothing about, a woman he didn't even know existed half an hour ago, but all that was irrelevant, he missed her too… so much.

…

…

Lying on the bed, Christian thought about the phone call that just ended. Elena told him she had gotten the money from her husband without complications, and that she was going to give it to him tomorrow in that hotel room she asked him to rent. With that arrangement, he would be able to start his own Company without much trouble. Of course, it came with a price but he wasn't surprised with Elena's "offer of support" in exchange for something she wanted from him, this was not something he hadn't done before.

He ended his sub-dom relationship with Elena six months ago, telling her he didn't want to be her submissive anymore, but he will have to do it again, at least one more day. One more Scene, a long one, was her request. He didn't feel bad about the whole deal even though he knew she was taking advantage of his vulnerable situation. He thought about this money as a loan and he was okay with giving her some hours of something he enjoyed. Actually he needed it, he'd been deprived of his sexual relief for six whole months, way too many months, and without money it was impossible for him to go to a private 'Club'.

To get in the right mood with Elena was a challenge, he was sick and tired of her routines, also wanted to try new things. Nevertheless, it shouldn't be a problem since he hadn't been with a woman for quite some time. He tried to picture Elena in her basement and suddenly a brunette-witch assaulted his thoughts diffusing Elena's image. Ana, a name he still hated, was there smiling her unique smile, making Christian smile too. Surprisingly, he noticed he was strangely aroused by the memory, which wasn't exactly helpful since he needed to be prepared for Elena.

His hand descended unconsciously, the goal, to get some relief. He was already picturing _blue-eyes_ riding him, kissing him sweetly, touching him with her soft and warm hands, but he resisted the urge, he needed all he had for tomorrow's Scene. What also stopped him was an overwhelming confusion, everything was out of place inside his head. Why was he thinking about vanilla sex? Why on earth was he fantasizing about someone touching him?

Because his body loved her touch? Because everything about her was unique?

A knock at the door interrupted his struggle, he look at the alarm clock on the nightstand, it was midnight, 12:00 p.m. He shook his head, presumably Elena wanting to take advantage of the night. _Well, the sooner, the better_.

Taking a deep breath, he walked to the door wearing just his boxers, no need for formalities.

Christian opened the door and froze, the most unexpected vision was in front of him. Earlier he thought he would be happy to see Ana again but he wasn't, everything was wrong, _she was showing up at his door soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter_. Shocked, he opened the door to let her in, a cold feeling unfolding in his spine immobilized him. Someone had hurt her and he wasn't there to protect her.

She didn't move either, looking down to the floor, probably ashamed of her appearance.

"Ana, come with me please."

Grabbing her hand, he made her walk inside and sit on a couch placed next to the door. He closed it and sat next to her respecting the personal space, he knew how important it was after suffering a trauma.

"Are you okay?"

Nothing, she was in shock, still looking down. He needed to see her beautiful sky-blue lagoons to be sure she was fine.

"I know something bad just happened to you, but now you are safe. I'm here for my light witch."

After a few seconds she lifted her head, rewarding him with a weak smile. "Light witch?"

He gulped as he found himself trapped in her azure gaze, a gaze now filled with disquiet and embarrassment. Shaking his head he focuses on the task at hand, to bring her back.

"No, MY light witch."

The smile widened a little, encouraging him to insist. "Please, tell me what happened."

She closed her eyes to answer. "Jose got drunk and tried to kiss me again, while getting away from him I slipped and fell in the pool. I'm sorry if I'm ruining your room, all I had in my mind was 312."

 _In the pool? She fell in the pool?_ He pulled his hair as hard as he could trying to calm down but it was impossible, the certainty that she could have died was tormenting him too much. Standing up he paced the floor nervously, that moron needed to suffer, Christian started to imagine all the ways he would torture the asshole.

Without any warning she stood in front of him blocking his way, they stare at each other for a while until she took his face between her hands.

"I'm fine, I'm here, and I need your bathroom."

"You need a doctor!"

"Why?" Her hands leaving his face made him feel hot and cold at the same time.

"Your bruises, we need to go to the hospital." What the hell was he doing thinking about that moron when she was so hurt? That would wait until she was safe, then that asshole will be the one in the hospital.

She observed her arms surprised. "No, must be something from the walls, I was grazing them on my way down."

Stroking one of the "bruises" he confirmed it, he also confirmed the softness of her skin. Under the dirt she had something pale and deliciously delicate that he wanted to caress relentlessly.

"I really need your bathroom, I'm soaking wet."

But Christian was paralysed again, his gaze fixed on her body now exposed through a semi-transparent wet blouse. He knew it was wrong but couldn't move his eyes from her, feeling like a teenager that had never seen a naked woman that close.

"Really, grey-eyes? HEY, stop!"

Christian looked up pissed at himself, she was just assaulted by an asshole and there was another one gawking at her disrespectfully. A whisper was all he could manage, "I'm sorry, of course you can use it… there." He pointed with his nose to the bathroom's door and turned around so she wouldn't notice how much his body wanted her. It was strange, so many years learning about self-control and body-discipline with Elena, and this girl was deleting every single lesson from his mind in just one night.

His body was rebelling and taking its own decisions no matter what the brain ordered, as when he was a horny teenager full of disoriented hormones. Before Elena, there were a few girls from high-school awakening his virility, but that was very superficial and volatile, hormonal, easily solved by his own hands. This was different, her soft touch eased the old pain in him, there was no way his hands could substitute that.

He wanted her, that was for sure, he was even fantasizing about having her on top of him a few minutes ago for Christ's sake. But she didn't need that shit from him right now, so he went for his pants and turned on the TV looking for the most boring program of the night. There were a couple of pornos that he quickly changed, Christian had already a porno running in his head, one that he was trying to erase.

Must be the six months without sex, that was the only sound explanation he could find for what was happening to him.

After half an hour he was preoccupied, what the hell was she doing in there? He knocked at the door hoping she was fine, after all she fell in the pool, maybe hit her head.

"Ana, is everything alright?"

"Yes, but I have nothing to wear, I can't get out naked."

 _Shit, the porno again_. His mind was misbehaving as much as his body.

He remembered the shirt he had brought with him, it was the only thing he took since he wouldn't need clothes for his stay at the hotel.

"I have something… might be useful."

The door was opened just enough for her arm to reach out. He passed her the shirt trying not to think of the naked body attached to that feminine arm. Closing his eyes he gathered some self-control that quickly evaporated when he saw her standing there, wearing just his shirt and an enigmatic smile. Christian's world stopped moving and rotating around the Sun, to do it around Ana. Her wild brown hair, finally free, was the perfect frame for the depth of her eyes, the eyes she lowered in embarrassment.

"Stop, please."

"I'm sorry, the glitter makes you look so special." She clearly failed at the task of removing it.

"Like a light witch?"

The playful girl was back and that made him feel better about the whole mess she just went through.

"They made it rain, that thing is very sticky."

He smiled imagining her trying to get rid of the glitter.

"You look great without your makeup, I mean… your mask."

"Do I?" Filled with self-satisfaction he smiled his devilish sexy smile, the one that had never failed before. Finally she was able to admire his charming.

"Ugh!"

 _What the hell?_ Both of them were frowning.

"What?"

"Faking again, it doesn't suit you."

And she had done it again. _Rude witch,_ he was sulking like the teenager he was being tonight.

"Yes it does, it always works."

"What for?"

He answered with a growl. Wasn't she the witch? Then she could ask to her magic mirror.

He went to the bed and sat down leaning against the pillows, with a movement he invited her to join him. "Are you tired?"

She sat down next to him, covering her legs with the bed sheets.

 _Good_. He was over the whole hormonal mess that assaulted him before, didn't need more of that shit. Some self-control was finally coming back.

"Yes, but I won't sleep, not after what happened. I could watch TV in silence while you sleep."

"I don't sleep, I already told you." He gave her the control of the TV.

"Then you choose." The control was back to him.

"But you are my guest."

"I'm not your guest, I just showed up."

"I told you to come here."

"Actually, you told me to call."

Now they were kids, this woman provoked strange psychological regressions. He pinched the bridge of his nose irritated. "Just accept the damned thing."

"Hey, what is your problem? I'm being nice."

She crossed her arms over her chest frowning. It was a cute gesture that made him smile inward. "And now I don't want to watch TV."

 _Yep, two fucking kids_. Christian closed his eyes, leaning his head on the headboard. "Fine, whatever."

"Let's talk instead."

"What?" He opened his eyes alarmed, to talk with the witch wasn't a good idea, she will keep seeing things.

"Why are you staying in this hotel?"

 _Fuck_. "Because I can. You?"

"Mm, you don't like to talk."

He sent another growl closing his eyes again. This would be a long night.

The silent sound of her eyes rolling made him open his.

"Okay, I'll start. We were celebrating our graduation."

That picked his interest, she was talking about herself. "Those morons were graduating in something?"

"Hey, they are my friends." A well-deserved snort was what she got from him.

"Friends? None of them helped you before."

"Because I didn't ask for it." She was glaring at him, obviously mad at Christian's remark.

"You asked me, and for all you know I could be a serial killer hiding in this hotel room. Still, you chose the potential serial killer over your 'friends'."

She smiled sweetly at him, and he saw the sign of DANGER inside his head. The holy trinity was his new kryptonite: the depth of her gaze, the sweetness in her smile, and the tender touch of her hands. As long as the three of them weren't combined in one, Christian was safe.

"I trust in you, I can't explain why but I do."

"Good, because you are not safe with those idiots. You could have died. Fortunately for you, you weren't drunk."

"Now you are exaggerating."

Christian straightened his back, sending her a withering look. "You fell in the pool for God's sake! Of course you could have died."

Her wide-open eyes startled him, he knew what it meant. To make it worse, she reached and grabbed one of his hands. _Shit, two of three_. One smile and he wouldn't respond for his acts.

"Who died?"

The fact that she clearly saw it, startled Christian even more, the witch was using all her potential to see maybe too much.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Please, you need to do it."

"I don't. And what do you care anyway? You don't even know my name." Turning his head he stared at the off TV, shooing away some awful images from his past that were threatening to come back.

The girl then started shaking his hand as if she were greeting him. "Anastasia Steele."

 _Anastasia!_

"Wasn't it Ana?"

"My friends prefer Ana, I prefer Anastasia."

Of course she did, that was such a perfect name, a unique name for a unique magical creature. He felt the need to let it roll through his tongue. "Anastasia… Christian Grey."

"Christian." She smiled sweetly and that was it, the holy trinity blinded him, all he could see was her, all he could feel was her sweet softness. As if they were two opposite sides of a magneto, both his hands felt irremediable attracted to her face. Her pale and soft skin blushed under his touch. He couldn't stop caressing her, this skin was so different from Elena's, her silky hair was also especial, it was like… _hers_.

He withdrew his hands scared at the memory that invaded his mind, his death mother, but Anastasia's eyes calmed him down.

"You need to talk about her."

"And you need to respect my wish."

A quick glance at the alarm-clock told him it was almost one o'clock.

"What about a girlfriend… or boyfriend?"

"I'm not gay, Anastasia." She blushed again and his lips twitched to hide his smile. "And no, there aren't any, don't have time for that."

"What keeps you so busy?"

"I've been studying, I have a plan in mind, it's perfect."

"Oh, how exciting!" He smiled at her sincere expression. "When are you putting it in practice?"

"Maybe tomorrow."

"I'm starting a new life tomorrow as well." _Is she leaving_? The possibility of her permanent absence alarmed him, he already needed her. "I got a new job, my dream job."

"Here?"

Her smirk was unsettling.

"Mhm, someone is afraid of losing his new friend."

He rolled his eyes at the conceited witch, feeling playful. Elena had never allowed that, he would get a punishment for being disrespectful. He had to admit that to be himself with the woman he felt attracted to, felt good, triggered the nice warm sensation inside his chest he was learning to enjoy.

"Answer!" His adamant tone didn't intimidate her.

"Wow, you are kind of domineering."

 _Oh baby, I'm a submissive_. He raised his eyebrows demanding the answer, he needed to know.

"Here, Christian, here."

A wide smile greeted the news and she gasped in surprise, her breath caught in her throat as she contemplated him. "You have such a beautiful smile." Then she smirked. "You are terribly good looking, how come you don't have a girlfriend?"

"My tastes are very singular."

Actually he wanted to work on that, all he knew was Elena and submission. His haphephobia was very restricting but he had a couple of things in mind, one of them was to become a dominant, that could work for him. The other one was to have Anastasia for at least one night and see how it goes, he could ask her not to touch him in the chest.

Well, this last option had just occurred to him while studying her attractive features. Sex was a permanent impulse around her, he really wanted the witch in a way he still couldn't understand. So many things he couldn't understand about himself while being with her. Nevertheless, he had the suspicion it would be good, he knew it would be good because in just a few hours she had given him some of the sensations he had craved for since puberty started and ruined his life.

"How singular?"

"Do you really want to know?" He challenged her.

"Yes."

"I have been with just one woman in my life, and sex with her was… well, very particular."

"Just tell me, Christian, I won't run for the hills, my sexual preferences are unusual too."

"Unusual?" Most of his thoughts about her were sexual, but to imagine her having sex with other men was too much for Christian.

"Yes."

"What do you mean?"

"You first."

It was like taking off a Band-Aid, mostly because he was curious about her.

"I was a submissive."

He didn't expect her to understand at first. To explain BDSM would be a difficult one, he had never had to do that before.

"No way, Christian, there isn't a submissive bone in your body." She didn't even hesitate, it just exploded out of her mouth letting Christian in shock.

"I AM a submissive, Christian, you look more like a dominant to me."

Christian couldn't articulate, his jaw was rigid, his lips tightly compressed. _What were the odds, what were the fucking odds_.

"But well, I guess that's not something necessarily visible, I might be wrong."

Analysing him she demanded more information, somehow they had ended up talking about him. "How old are you? Not older than me for sure."

"Twenty-two."

"I'm twenty-two too. When did you start? I started two years ago, a boyfriend, but he was an abusive asshole. Now I just have eventual partners when I feel in the mood."

He frowned, clenching his teeth and tightening his fists. "No, that's not right, you could get yourself trapped in a dangerous situation by doing that."

Unfortunately for Christian, the girl wasn't very submissive out of the Scene.

"I'm always careful, I take my time to choose."

"What about me?"

"What?"

Yes, what about him? With his game exposed he needed to know immediately.

They stared at each other for a bit, not saying a word. Her brow furrowed with incomprehension. "You said you were a submissive." Christian shook his head knowing she was right, she didn't have enough information… not yet.

"I ended up that relationship six months ago because I didn't feel comfortable in it."

"What have you done since then?"

"Nothing." The playful smile on her face triggered the DANGER sign again.

"I don't know if ' _we'_ could work. How much time were you her submissive?"

"Seven years."

She stood up abruptly, coughing violently, choking with her own saliva. With three quick movements Christian was next to her patting her back. "Anastasia, breath!"

That very second he saw her hand going to his chest, looking for support while she was trying to recover. He grabbed it harshly shaking a 'no' with his head. The hurt look that contorted her face made him feel bad.

"That's a hard limit for me, I'm sorry."

Sitting in the bed she composed herself. "Why?"

"Haphephobia."

"Haphewhat? I haven't heard of it in any Club." Smiling, he seated next to her. He loved the surprised look on the witch's face, she didn't have all the answers in her magic ball.

"Because it's not BDSM related, it's a psychological condition, a phobia to be touched."

"But I have touched you."

"Just my chest and back are affected by the condition."

She shook her head with sadness in her eyes. "The hugging zone."

He knew what she was talking about, he had grown up avoiding the hugs of his family but craving them at the same time.

"Until where?" She was pointing to his chest.

Confused, Christian painted an imaginary line, demarcating the damaged zone.

"I could do it." The conversation was now heading the direction Christian wanted. "But I'm not sure, I wouldn't know how to lead you, I've never topped from the bottom." Nope, they weren't even close. "Let's do it, but we need to learn how to walk before we run, Christian." The most confusing creature in the whole fucking planet.

Remembering Elena, he answered to her acceptance with an annoyed gesture. "I have a pending thing for tomorrow. After that, we can talk. I'd like to try."

He went back to his position, leaning on the headboard. "Come here, if we are doing this my body needs to get used to yours."

She blushed furiously but accepted his hand. With a soft pull he sat her between his legs, her back against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder, her scent filling his nostrils. There wasn't a holy trinity anymore, her scent was something else he would worship.

"I'm happy we are doing this, Anastasia."

He was finally caressing her soft skin the way he wanted, but exercising the self-control the situation demanded. Elena was still coming in a few hours, after nine she said.

"Oh, I know. I put a spell on you when I left you on the street."

 _Damn, she certainly did_ , she could read him so well.

Christian wondered if that was good for a Scene, maybe no, maybe yes, he would know soon. The way he felt, probably tomorrow. Now he wasn't so sure about his performance with Elena, he wanted this delicious brunette way too much. He was anxious to be in charge of her pleasure, reading her to figure out what she wanted even before she knew, and then give it to her.

So many things in his head, he wasn't good at waiting, at postponing, but her scent calmed him gradually, hypnotising all his senses one by one until he drifted into a peaceful sleep.

…

…

A furious knock at the door woke them from a deep sleep.

 _Fuck, Elena!_

The alarm-clock said nine fifteen.

"Shit." He had never slept this much. Of course, he was bewitched, and it was good, he felt rest for the first time in a too long while.

He got distracted for a second by the vision next to him, Anastasia was a fine sight in the morning. Her hair was falling wildly around her face and shoulders, her eyes bright with energy, her cheeks slightly flushed, all combined in one beautiful woman that would be, soon, his. What was more, she was in the lifestyle and willing to try new things with him, she couldn't be more perfect.

Another knock startled him. "Go and get dressed."

"Why do I feel as if we were cheating on someone?"

"We aren't. Now go, I'll explain later."

He went to the door, opening it carefully to receive a furious Elena.

"Christian, I'm not happy."

"But…"

"No buts, you should have been waiting."

"Calm down Elena, I fell asleep, I was tired." _Fucking bitch_ , what was her problem.

Christian realized he wasn't happy either, already rejecting Elena, the woman he was supposed to have sex with in a few minutes. The deal wasn't looking that good anymore.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath composing herself. Then she smiled at him. "Okay, sorry, I'm actually pissed because I don't have as much time as I thought, so let's start right away. Take off your pants and assume the position while I use the bathroom."

"No, wait."

"What?" She looked at Christian surprised.

Trying to mask his feelings, Christian explained with a nonchalantly tone. "A friend is using the bathroom, she will leave in a couple of minutes."

The scowl on her face told him she was getting angry again, the cold tone confirmed it. "You used the room I'm paying for, to play with a friend?"

"Of course not, Elena. She had an emergency and I helped her, that's all." _That's all you need to know_ , and it wasn't a lie. Christian could understand Elena's indignation, but he wasn't feeling very patient that morning.

Anastasia stepped out of the bathroom wearing her clothes, still wet but not as much as last night. _What if she caught a cold?_

The threat of the cold was immediately forgotten when he noticed what was going on in front of him, the two women were about to square off in a cat fight.

"Rose?"

"Hello, Elena."

 _Rose?_

"Rose?"

"It's my pseudonym."

She had met Elena, probably at some Club or party. The alarmed look Anastasia gave him was disconcerting, it was surely related with Elena.

"Wasn't she leaving?"

 _Shit_ , Elena was throwing her out of the room. He didn't like that, after all, for all Elena knew, Anastasia was there because of him.

The girl approached him and did something strange, it caught him by surprise but since she kept herself away from the sensitive area, he didn't recoil. She hugged him by his waist, just joining their hips, and standing on her toes kissed both his cheeks and whispered, "be careful, please."

It was brief but so special that Christian felt the now-familiar-warmness spreading inside his chest in soft waves. That weird hug was created just for him, so he could enjoy something that his abuser snatched from him when he was a kid. It was respectful, it was heartfelt, and the most important thing, it was bearable. Anastasia had touched him again, but this time she had touched his soul. He couldn't let her leave, just not yet.

"Wait, how do I contact you?"

A snort made them turn their heads. Elena was rolling her eyes. "She is easy to find."

Christian wanted to know what Elena meant, nevertheless, since she was being so rude to his friend he didn't ask and turned the attention back to the light witch. He'd find out later, and once she was his, it'd be solved. He wanted for himself all the hunger and lust he could sense in her.

Anastasia was fidgeting with her hair nervously. "I better go."

"Yes dear, Christian and I are busy right now, we need privacy."

Elena purred the words winking unpleasantly at her. That attitude fuelled Christian anger, Elena had no right to do that, they had ended the agreement a long time ago and this was supposed to be a one-time thing between two old friends.

"Stop, Elena."

Elena glared at him aggrieved. "What? Just saying."

"No, you are being rude, stop that shit."

Elena pressed her lips in a fine line but didn't say anything.

Lowering his voice, he focused on Anastasia again. "Do you need anything? Where is your stuff?"

"Must be upstairs."

That made him nervous, what if that asshole was upstairs too, waiting for her? "You shouldn't go there alone."

"It's okay, Christian, don't worry."

"No, it's not." He felt the need to do something about her lack of self-preservation instincts.

Anastasia walked to the bedside table and grabbed his phone offering a better alternative. "I'll ask someone at reception to go upstairs with me."

"Christian, I don't have much time for what we need to do."

Elena again, but this time at least she was using a polite tone of voice.

"There, now you have my number… Bye Christian, I'll be waiting for your call."

He looked at her bewitching summer-sky eyes for the last time, wanting to bury his nose in her wonderfully fragrant hair, wanting to kiss her, really kiss her until he lost himself in her. How come he didn't do that last night? Right, Elena, if he'd followed up on even one of his desires, he wouldn't have been able to stop.

When the door was closed behind her, he felt empty and nervous realizing that they didn't actually concrete anything, _what if she changes her mind?_ Shit, he needed to go after her. Christian raked his hands through his hair in frustration, feeling the urgency to finish the deal quickly and move on without interferences.

Looking at Elena he knew it, he didn't want to do this and that changed everything because everything had changed. Elena noticed immediately. She walked to the bed and sat crossing her legs, her back straight in a defensive position.

"Christian, what's going on?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Of course he knew, Anastasia.

"You like that girl?"

"Is that a problem?" He asked as he sat down on a chair that was placed near the bed. He wasn't her submissive, there should be no problem.

"She is very promiscuous, Christian, always leaving the Club with a different man."

Anastasia already told him that, she said she had eventual sexual partners, something that would hopefully change soon, he wasn't planning on letting her escape or sharing her for that matter.

"I know."

Elena frowned with discontent and then threw her bomb.

"I will give you the money only if you promise not contact her again."

Christian froze, that was completely unexpected, was she blackmailing him?

"Why?"

"Because I don't like her."

"Then don't contact her."

Why was she doing this was hard for Christian to understand, Elena was obviously jealous but the relationship they had shared for so many years was kind of distant and utilitarian. When he ended the agreement she reacted with normalcy, so this was strange.

"Then you can forget about the money."

"I thought it was a loan."

She took an imaginary thread from her skirt, analyzing it, giving the impression she didn't care much about anything.

"You can call it as you wish, it's an exchange. I'll give it to you only if you forget about her."

Elena was crushing all the trust he had on her, tossing it aside. He needed the money, probably more than he needed Anastasia, but he couldn't accept this. It was his choice, not Elena's.

He grew up the first years of his life surrounded by moral turpitude, human cruelty, and maternal negligence, and yet, he survived. How dare she think he would fell for that? The only reason why he asked HER for the money, was because he saw her as his friend. The deal he was accepting was based in the fact that he trusted in her, but also because he needed to do it too, he hadn't had sex for six months for Christ's sake.

Christian leaned back in the chair with a blank expression on his face, and this time he wasn't faking it, he was tranquil knowing what to do.

"Did Grace tell you how the marks on my back and chest were made?"

"Of course, I know everything about you." Elena stood impassibly, waiting for him to elaborate further.

"Do you know why he made it, why I have so many?"

She didn't respond, of course, nobody knew, not even Grace.

"He wanted me to admit it hurt, he wanted me to admit out loud that he was stronger than me, that I was afraid of him… Guess what? I didn't, and I was four."

Now she understood, Elena saw she had lost the bet.

"So, you know my answer to your stupid blackmail."

"You have no choice, Christian."

She pushed a little harder, the blackmail wasn't the only stupid thing in the room.

"Of course I do. First, you can't choose for me, and second, you know my parents are wealthy, Elena, and even disappointed they have always looked after me, always."

Yes, he realized now, they had never sent him away even though he was always surly and crabby. Elliot had accepted him in his apartment until he could solve his economic situation and his differences with Carrick, like the big brother he was. Mia and Grace had called every week to check on him. They cared.

Elena stood up in front of him, adopting her dominant stance and raising her guard even higher. "Carrick won't give you one cent, I already made sure of that."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

The rage contained in the yell startled them both. He was now standing too, running his hand through his hair.

"What did you tell him?"

She was now nervous and scared at the same time, she made a mistake leaded by the anger she felt, and it was the first time she was seeing him reacting like that. She was probably wondering where was her submissive? _Burning in rage_.

"ANSWER!"

"I told him you were gambling, losing all I had lent you. I told him you were fighting again… for money, in order to pay your debts."

Realization was hitting him as a merciless hammer, taking all his balance away. He suddenly understood all the strange looks he had received from Grace and Carrick for so many years. Why was she being honest about her lies was a mystery to him, but he knew she was telling the truth now, and he knew she had manipulated him into their "friendship" since the beginning.

"Why, Elena? Why would you do that to me?"

Her teeth clamped together and she hissed her words at him. "Because you are mine, and you will always be. You got confused by a pair of pretty blue eyes, but that will pass and you will come back to me, deep inside you know I'm your only option, your only true friend."

"FRIEND?"

Trying to control his temper, he took the shirt that was hanging in the back of the chair and put it on. "I choose her. You and your money can rot in hell for all I care."

"Christian, don't you dare to leave me here."

"Fuck you and your FUCKING LIES. You are so full of shit it makes me really sick."

"You will regret this."

He did, he regretted a lot of decisions he had made, not this one though. Shrugging his shoulders he went to the bedside table for his cell phone, watch and wallet. Everything went to his pocket as he grabbed his shoes from the floor to left barefoot. He couldn't bear one more second in the same room with Elena fucking Lincoln.

In the elevator he finished getting dressed, trying to focus on Anastasia, it was too painful to regard the past… again, so the girl was a better thought. _Later_ , now he needed to tie up his future, _my light witch_. He smirked at the thought, he would need to learn to do that if she was into it, he didn't want to hurt her mistaking the knots. And about the money, well, that was so fucked up, his business plan was perfect and this was the perfect time for it, maybe if he had an honest conversation with Carrick...

Outside the hotel he looked careful both sides of the street and spotted her just before she turned right on one corner. In a few quick strides, he reached her and grabbed her arm bringing her to an abrupt stop. She gasped and turned around looking up at him dumbfounded. "Christian!"

Lost in the beautiful eyes he was happy to see again, he pinned her against the wall and kissed her -hard, demanding, urgent. She tasted so sweet, and she was accepting his kiss giving herself in return. She curled her fingers in his hair, moaning in his mouth, her breathing becoming ragged; it wasn't like the ravenous scorching kisses he had had with Elena, it was full of something new, something that tastes heavenly. The kiss went on and on, neither of them willing to end the moment.

Finally, he tore himself away, panting, "that was one hell of a kiss."

She giggled trying to catch her breath and he knew there was one more thing about her he would worship, that adorable sound. Five things so far, he was sure there were more, a lot more to discover and worship in his witch.

"Come with me, please, we need breakfast and I need you."

Blushing red as a tomato she nodded her agreement.

The morning was starting to get better, despite all the bullshit he had had to face. To have this adorable creature by his side meant the world to him in a way that was unfamiliar but fulfilling at the same time.

Suddenly, he was afraid of the intensity of what was happening inside him, what if she leaves him? What if this doesn't work? He was aware of how invested he was on the illusion of being with her.

"I'm scared too, Christian."

The witch, of course, she had read his fears on his face because she had, somehow, destroyed his mask, at least while he was with her. And by telling him how she felt, she had made clear that, like him, she was jumping to the unknown. They would take the risk of an unhappily ever after together because even if they didn't have a compass, they would find the way.

"Let's go."

Elliot's apartment was near the hotel, so fifteen minutes at a normal pace was enough to get there. It was a quiet walk, both holding hands loosely and lost in deep thoughts.

He opened the door wondering about the contents of the fridge since he wanted to prepare her a passable breakfast, then he saw them and froze. Carrick and Elliot were sat in the living room looking in their direction with a very inquisitive look.

"Dad!"

His father walked toward them offering a hand to his son. "Christian." They shook hands and then he turned his attention to Anastasia. "I'm Carrick, young lady, Christian's father." The girl smiled and politely corresponded the greeting.

"Come with me, please, we need to talk." His father was right, they needed to talk, a life changing talk actually, surely not what his father had in mind… or maybe yes after what Elena told him.

Her voice interrupted the moment. "I'd better go, Christian. You can call me after you finish here."

This was déjàvu, some difficult circumstance was throwing her out of the room again. Well, not this time, he knew he would be impatient and nervous if he let her go with nothing agreed, and the conversation with his father would end up badly.

"No, stay… please."

She was hesitant but one look at him, at his plea, and she accepted. "Okay."

Anastasia sat far, on one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar, trying to be invisible. It was an impossible, she would never be invisible, at least not for him. He smiled at her reassuringly and she corresponded with a gleaming hope.

His father was looking at him bewildered, he had never seen Christian with someone before. _Yes, I was hanging out with a girl, can we move on?_ His brother Elliot just disappeared, not even greeted them which means this would be tough. _Coward_.

Her sweet voice brought him back. "May I have your cell phone? Mine is dead and I could use some music right now."

Christian smiled again and walked back to her to give her what she wanted, he wished he wasn't broke to give her all she could need.

Back to his father he sat in front of him straightening his back.

"Christian, I know you have a problem."

 _A problem?_ That was a damned understatement, he had so many. "I know, her name is Elena Lincoln."

"What?" _Yes Dad, welcome to the conversation we are about to have_.

"She lied to you." Christian was trying to remain impassible because to think about this made him angry. They had been talking about his son with a person that isn't family.

"Elena?"

"Yes, Elena."

Surprised his father demanded more. "What do you mean?"

"You are the lawyer Dad, what does that mean?"

The father was getting pissed by Christian attitude, but fortunately Elliot chose that moment to show up. "Chris, everything alright?"

"Mhm, where are you going?"

"Girlfriend, I'll be back late." Elliot winked at him making a gesture toward Anastasia but he ignored it.

His brother gave a kiss to his father and went to the breakfast bar to present himself, making some joke that amused Anastasia. Before his jealousy made him react, Elliot was living the apartment sending him another annoying wink.

Everything came back to where it was. _Where was it?_ Right, his father was pissed at him, he was pissed at his father.

"Would you mind to elaborate, Christian."

Talking with his father about his life was a novelty, he didn't know how to do that so he just started from the end. "I was with her half an hour ago, she mentioned the lies that had told you about me gambling and fighting for money."

Carrick leaned back on the chair sighing. "That's just... Why were you with her? Why would she do that?"

The Band-Aid again. The sooner, the better. "She wanted to have sex with me in exchange of some money she would lend me."

A deep whoosh of air and a cough startled them, Anastasia was choking violently. Christian ran to her and palmed her back. "Anastasia, please…" The father was sat there just looking at him with the girl, shocked. "Dad, help me!"

"I'm fine, I just… I'm fine." Her voice was hoarse while talking but he calmed down a bit, shooting daggers at his father. "You have it recorded, Christian."

"What?" He had no idea what she was talking about.

"What you mentioned, must be here since I let the cell phone's recorder on when I left the room, and it was still turned on when you gave it to me."

She was waving the cell phone in front of him. Christian took it and looked at his files, there was one from today, she saved it under one suggestive name, '312'. He smiled inward at the detail. Nevertheless, he was afraid it didn't record their exchange since he had never used that as a recorder.

He went to his father giving him the phone, then came back to Anastasia, didn't want to know if it worked properly or not, didn't want to hear that conversation again. There was another conversation he needed to have, with his personal light witch sent by a coven of fucking psychics.

"Why did you do that, Anastasia?" Her name in his voice felt right, he needed to say it more often.

They could hear the recorded conversation in the background, which annoyed Christian because he didn't want her to hear that shit.

"She is an awful person and…" Fidgeting with her hair, she made a pause.

"And what?"

"And your demons run wild inside you, she was obviously taking advantage of that… I don't know, it was a hunch. She could say something self-incriminatory."

"Mmm." Christian was impressed by this beautiful smart girl, he stroked her cheek tenderly wanting his father to leave. Carrick could take the damned thing for all he cared.

Then Christian's voice crossed the air, from the cell phone, directly to them, " _I choose her_."

She smiled sweetly at him putting her hand on his. She was about to say something but a moving shadow made him take his glance away from the shining blue eyes, his father had grabbed his jacket and was putting it on, standing next to him.

"I'll give you the money."

"What?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing, that was his goal, well, one of them since he wanted his parents to know the truth, that he wasn't gambling or fighting. He had spent the last four months in a library studying and designing his plan.

He knew the lies had surely broken Grace's heart, he needed to amend that but he also had thought about asking Carrick for the loan again.

"But you have to explain me well what you want it for, and I have to agree with it." _Of fucking course_ , that was the Carrick he knew, always the 'buts'. He felt confident though, his plan was perfect.

"No problem, Dad." Shaking his hand he added. "Thank you."

His father knew he couldn't be hugged, so Carrick palmed his shoulder instead, sadness filling his eyes. "I'm sorry, son. I'm glad I came here to hear it from you and do something about it. I just want the best for you."

Something inside Christian cracked and spilled out, spreading warmth through his chest. That was happening a lot since he met the witch, the darkness inside him couldn't fight it. If he were superstitious he would think she was his talisman, through her the demons had been warded off.

"Bye, young lady, and thank you." He placed a quick kiss on Anastasia's cheek and left, a murdering look on his face. Christian expected his father not to do something crazy against Elena, after all he was a lawyer, he knew better than that. _Well, their friend, their problem_.

Christian was shocked by the results of the events, but there was something that distracted him more, he felt like a teenager but couldn't help it. Turning to look at her, he smirked.

"Where were we? Right, hunger, so much fucking hunger."

His gray eyes eating her alive made her blush. He realized how much he enjoyed doing that to the witch, he was able to make her loose her powers from time to time.

"Actually, I do am a little hungry."

That was like a bucket of cold water over his head. Of course she needed to eat.

"Let me check the fridge."

He felt observed while preparing her some coffee and a sandwich, and he liked it. For the first time in his life Christian was enjoying something so simple, and at the same time so basic as feeding his girl. "His girl", they hadn't even had sex yet but he already felt that way.

The 'created reality' Elena had submerged him into, had no comparison with what he was doing with another person. He had done a lot, yes, but always alone, always full of melancholic loneliness. He felt complete now, and it scared him because it was still nothing and his darkness was there, he could feel it, he wouldn't foolish himself.

Ironically, it was Elena who put him at the crossroad that made him realize that the whole control-over-his-life feeling was just an illusion. If it wasn't for the strange encounter with Anastasia, an encounter that had so quickly evolved, nothing of this would have happened. He understood that in life, if you are lucky enough, you have choices, and it's important to look at them carefully to notice when them are taking you away from what you want.

"This is where I want to be. I choose you, Christian."

Obviously she had read his mind again, he was so screwed, boiling happily in the pot of the most beautiful light witch that had ever existed in this haunted planet. The future was uncertain, but Christian had something clear, he was where he wanted to be, under her spell.

 _ **The End**_


	10. Entry 9: QueenBee03

**.  
ENTRY NUMBER NINE**

* * *

 ** _~The Illusionists~_**

 **Elliott Grey was fuming _._** He couldn't believe what a wet blanket his brother was being. He was getting married for Christ sakes! He should have guessed though. Every one in Seattle knew how obsessed his brother was with his fiancé. And as soon as she and her army of skanks got wind of Elliott hiring strippers for the bachelor party it was all over. _Okay that was mean, they aren't skanks- well maybe the maid of honor but for the most part they were actually great_. And he adored his brothers fiancé but damn.. these were the girls from THE Illusionists. The best strippers on the west coast worked for this company. And the kick ass best man that Elliott was, he had gotten them for the night for his brother's bachelor party. And he had to drop a large non refundable pretty penny to get them to leave the club based out of LA to come to Seattle. And now he had to cancel? _This was bullshit._

"Do it now, Elliott or so help me" Christian says from the doorway as he scrolls through his phone.

He rolls his eyes and sits down kicking his feet up on his brothers ungodly expensive coffee table. _Hadn't this man heard of an IKEA?_ "I can't believe you're making me cancel your strippers"

"I can't believe you'd even order them! You knew how she'd feel about them."

He rolls his eyes again. "Not really, your girl is cooler than you are most days, didn't think she'd be anti-"

"Naked ladies grinding against her fiancé? Right Elliott. I'd lose my shit if she even thought about it" he says sitting down next to him.

"And then she had her bitchy maid of honor call me and ream me out. God that girl is a piece of work" Elliott groans recalling the screeching he endured when she called telling him that under NO circumstances should there be strippers. "Strippers are a rite of passage Christian"

"Then have them at your bachelor party, El. I don't need it"

"I'm tempted to get married just so I have a reason to!"

"Have at it! And speaking of her maid of honor- you're so hot for her" Christian says with a smug grin.

"Am not that girl is the fucking worst!"

"You doth protest too much, methinks" Christian says with a smug grin.

"Kiss my ass and you owe me 15 grand"

"Fuck off no one told you to pay all that money"

"I thought my ungrateful brother would appreciate it! I shouldn't have even told you, should've just let them show up. Like SURPRISE!" He chuckles to himself as he wonders just how mad he'd be if he did do that.

* * *

 **A few days later** , Christian and Elliott are in Christian's massive penthouse waiting for the rest of his groomsmen to come over before they headed out for the night when there's a knock at the door.

Elliott thinking it's the rest of the guys, moves toward the door and his eyes widen to the size of saucers when he looks at the scene in front of him. He furrows his brow in confusion because he couldn't believe that at this moment there were two smoking hot girls at his brothers door soaking wet, bruised and covered in glitter.

"Hi" the brunette says softly. "Um I'm Anastasia.. I am so embarrassed that we are showing up like this, it's raining cats and dogs outside and our driver dropped us-"

"Hush, they don't even care" the blonde smirks her eyes dancing playfully. "We are here now... Is Elliott Grey here?"

"Umm that's... me?" He says trying to keep his voice down as not to alarm Christian.

"Great. We are at the right place. We are from The Illusionists. Sorry we are a bit late but-"

Elliott's eyes widen. "No.. no no no we cancelled you guys. Sadly" he says rolling his eyes. "My brothers fiancé had a cow" he shrugs.

"Are you sure you cancelled the invoice? There's no way they would have sent us across state lines for nothing" Anastasia says looking at her phone trying to pull up the email.

"Can we at least come in, we are drenched" The blonde says.

He sighs. "Fine... My brother is going to flip though"

* * *

 **He ushers them into the living room** and Anastasia immediately disappears to use the bathroom and change into some dry (less stripper like) clothing before they head back to Los Angeles.

"So you're not the groom, right?" The blonde asks.

"Nope. Best man... what's your name anyway?"

"Katherine... well Kate"

"Well Kate... I'm sorry you came all the way here for nothing"

"Why are you sorry? You paid right? And you're not getting married." She smiles cheekily.

His eyes widen at the thought of these two sexy women stripping for him but he wonders what his brother would have to do in the meantime to keep himself occupied. "Now?" He stutters.

"I couldn't think of a better time" she says holding her hand out. "Lead me to an empty room handsome"

"What about Anastasia..? And my brother is around here somewhere if he finds some strange woman in his apartment he'll freak."

She shrugs. "Anastasia can take care of herself. Now are you coming or what?" Kate says as she pulls a bottle of patron out of her bag. "I've been dying to try out my new moves"

His eyes widen as he follows her out of the living room and up the stairs to one of Christians many unoccupied rooms.

* * *

 **Meanwhile:**

Christian gets off the phone with Matt, his sisters boyfriend and one of his groomsmen. Matt, who was notoriously late, was calling to let him know that they'd meet him and Elliott at the restaurant later. Christian rolls his eyes to the heavens. Aka you assholes are running late. He heads out of his office and runs smack into 115 pounds of brown hair and the most perfect body he'd ever laid eyes on. He lets his eyes roam over her for a split second before he realizes maybe he should stop ogling this strange girl in his penthouse.

"I-I'm sorry sir, I got a little lost leaving the bathroom... I'm Anastasia"

He raises an eyebrow at her. "Okay Anastasia, who are you exactly and why are you using my bathroom in the first place? What are you doing in my apartment? And where the hell is Elliott?" he fires the questions off at her.

"Whoa there, slow down. There was some sort of mixup.. we are here from California. We were hired for your bachelor party but-"

"My brother cancelled it.. at least he better have. And what do you mean 'we'?" He asks with wide eyes.

"Me and my coworker... Kate. We were just leaving though"

"Who the hell let you in?"

"Elliott?"

"Of course" he says ushering her down the stairs. When they get to the living room it's empty and Anastasia looks around looking for her friend and his brother.

"Where...?" Ana looks around confused and soon gets her answer when she begins to hear music faintly playing.

"I'll kill him" Christian barks.

Anastasia giggles and he shoots her a glare. "Oh come on. He already paid for us. I thought it was just you who couldn't feast your eyes on the bare flesh" she jokes.

"Don't." He growls. "I happen to love my fiancé very much and she wasn't super thrilled at the idea"

"And she thinks you don't watch porn?"

"Big difference from a screen and.. real life"

She shrugs. "You don't touch me. I don't allow that"

"Still."

"You see a problem with it?" She asks.

"If she hired male strippers to come to a private party I'd go postal" Christian replies pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb.

She giggles. "You're funny"

He narrows his eyes at her and she immediately stops laughing. "I would never want to hurt her."

"That's... sweet"

* * *

 **Kate is as naked as the day she was born** straddling the elder Grey brother. Normally she doesn't get that close when she was completely naked but there was something about him. An undeniable attraction. And she knew it went both ways. The second they got into this guest room she felt the air change. It crackled between them. She moves herself slowly up and down his body, rubbing herself against all the right spots and she knew from experience that he was moments from losing it.

"Can I touch you?"

"No"

"Please" he says his voice so low and full of lust it sends her brain into a tizzy. "I've been _dying_ to"

"It's extra"

"How much?"

"You couldn't afford it" she bites back.

"Take it all" he tilts his head back and closes his eyes as the sensation of her rubbing her naked wet core over his crotch takes over his brain. He had to have her, _now_.

The words are sobering on her libido and she moves off of his lap and backs up. "I... I'm sorry. We crossed a line here... I... don't want this"

"Kate..." Elliott trails off.

"No." She stops him holding up a hand the tears flooding her eyes. "This was supposed to be a joke.. funny. Because we felt bad about the strippers... It's... not anymore"

He moves towards her boxing her against the wall. "You can bet your ass my brother is having the time of his life with this little game you two concocted."

"I'm not" Kate says swallowing the tears down.

"Why?"

"I don't... I don't know Elliott. I'm not doing this again with you. Not after everything that's happened between us"

"What like you leaving me, when I needed you? And what do you mean not doing this again? Like you weren't just rubbing your naked pussy against me five minutes ago?"

"Don't fucking put that on me Elliott... I made a mistake in walking away. I didn't... I didn't know you needed me. And... I thought I could do this. I thought I could just... have a sexual relationship with you just for tonight. But- I can't."

"Don't tell me you didn't know I needed you" he growls. "You knew how much I needed you. How much I love you. Adore you. I don't just want a sexual relationship with you, Kate. I want everything with you."

"Don't" she says feeling the tears rushing to her eyes. "I knew this would happen the second Ana and Christian announced their engagement" she says rubbing her forehead.

"You can't escape me Kavanagh. We are bound together forever"

She bites down on her bottom lip. "It's too late"

"No. It's _not_ "

* * *

 **"What do you think they're doing up there?"** Christian asks Anastasia neither of them breaking character from this little charade but both very curious what could be going on between two very important people in their lives that have a very confusing and complicated past.

"Unsure. I think she's putting on a show, though" He raises an eyebrow at her that was more meant for his fiancé and not the stripper she was portraying so she shrugs. "Tell me about this fiancé of yours"

"What do you want to know?"

"Is she pretty?"

"Gorgeous. Unbelievably so"

"What does she look like?"

He looks at her and smiles. "Perfection"

She rolls her eyes. "Give me a break. Well you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself, what is this future trophy wife of yours going to do with her days?"

"Don't call her that. She's much more than that"

She snorts. "Yeah till you have her barefoot and pregnant in your kitchen. Is that even what she wants?"

His nostrils flare and she fears she's struck a nerve. "Fuck you"

"Wouldn't that be against the rules?" Anastasia asks as she gets up and takes a lap around the living room. She stops and takes a look at the pictures on their walls which seem to be a shrine to his fiancé. "This her?"

"Yep"

Anastasia shrugs before shooting him a smirk. "She's okay. You could do better"

"You're pushing me"

She shrugs again and continues to walk around making him anxious. "Where is your precious fiancé anyway?"

"With her friends"

"Ah. Not worried she's got male strippers of her own then?"

"No" he barks getting increasingly irritated with this line of questioning.

"Is that so? Got security on her? Her room bugged? Got a homing chip buried under her skin?"

"You can't possibly think-" He starts. "I trust her."

His answer shocks her and she immediately snaps her head to look at him. "Do you love her?"

"More than life itself" he answers and she sighs.

"Do you think she feels the same?"

"Most days" he chuckles.

"Does she trust you?"

"You've got clothes on still don't you"

"I'm sure I won't have them on for long" she responds cheekily. "You never did answer my question... what is she going to do while you're off ruling the world?"

"Be right there ruling it with me" he answers without missing a beat.

The look in her eyes isn't lost on him and he smiles knowing that his answer shocked and moved her. "Hmm" she says.

"Look I-" his words are interrupted by some very obvious noises coming from upstairs and they shoot each other a knowing look before shaking their heads.

"Kate doesn't usually... get involved with her customers"

"I'll bet"

Ana shoots him a dirty look and Christian raises his hands. "Don't start"

"My brother is... he needs someone. His last girlfriend fucked him up" He says giving her a knowing look.

"Yeah well Kate's last boyfriend wasn't exactly a walk in the park either" She says shooting him one back.

"She left him"

"He didn't leave her a choice" she retorts.

"There's always a choice" Christian replies back.

"She misses him... everyday"

"He misses her"

"Sounds like Kate and Elliott both need to work their shit out with these... people" Anastasia says.

He moves toward her and only then does he see something on her wrist that alarms him. "What is this?" he says touching her wrist causing her to wince.

"Don't..." she says giving him a look telling him to relax.

"Tell me, now"

"I... fell earlier and-"

"WHAT!? What the fuck do you mean you fell..."

"I can assure you that I'm-"

"Cut the shit, Ana. You're lucky I don't take you over my knee for that little line of questioning earlier, Kate and Elliott are upstairs fucking the shit out of each other when you and I had to talk them both off the goddamn ledge last year and now you're falling and NO ONE is notifying me?" he pulls her into his arms and touches her wrist again. "Baby this bruise is all but purple"

"I know it fucking hurts" she winces when he touches it. "I iced it, but it's clearly not helping"

"Where the hell was Sawyer?"

"He wasn't really there... and then I asked him not to tell you... because I was preparing for this..."

"What did preparing entail? Bathing in glitter?" He asks pulling her towards their bathroom. "And what do you mean wasn't really there? I pay him to watch your every move Ana, unless you're with me!"

"Strippers like the glitter!" she shrugs. "And I was... on a pole..."

His eyes widen to the size of saucers. "What."

"I didn't think you'd want Sawyer watching me pole dance, Christian" she says looking at him with a pointed expression.

"You would be correct"

"I was in a private room with Kate and some professionals... taking a class and I fell. Hurt like a bitch"

"Are you okay?" He asks holding it up to the light before placing a few light kisses on it.

She nods. "Yes. When it's healed, I'll show you my moves"

"Oh you've got moves, huh?" He asks.

"Oh yeah, they said I was a natural... well till I fell" she laughs.

"A natural? Don't get any ideas" She giggles and his face falls as he sits on the couch in their bathroom. "Come sit with me, baby"

She moves towards him and sits in her usual spot in his lap and tucks her head under his chin. "Hm?"

"Did you mean what you said earlier?.. Or was it just to get a rise out of me?"

"Which part?"

"Any of it? All of it?"

"I know you don't see me as a trophy wife"

He cups her face for them to lock eyes. "You know that right? You mean so much more to me than that. You're everything to me. Nothing in this world matters to me more than you do" he says brushing his lips over hers.

"I know" she nods.

"And the barefoot and pregnant thing?"

"You know I want babies sooner than you do, Grey. Next" she giggles.

"You're beautiful"

"I know you think so"

"Stunning. Gorgeous. _You_ could do better"

She rolls her eyes. "Sure, Grey"

"You know pretty soon we are going to share the same last name and that sarcastic shit you do isn't going to work" he says raising an eyebrow.

"I'm enjoying it till then"

He's silent. "Oh yes, the homing chip under your skin?"

"'twas a joke"

"Not funny"

"Oh come on Sawyer basically follows me to the bathroom, tell me you don't think it was a little funny" she says putting her index finger and thumb very close together.

"No"

"Okay, poorly constructed joke. Sorry" she nuzzles his neck. "Forgive me?"

"Blow me, and I'll consider it"

"Oh?"

"You're little cat and mouse game got me horny as fuck, and it's been like three and a half hours since I've had you give me a break"

"You're about to go out with your friends and do God knows what, I am not making it that easy for you"

"So after all that, you're not going to let me fuck you? Are you nuts? I know you're needy for me right now"

"Maybe so, but I want you needy for me, all night"

"I bet you cave before I do" he growls in her ear.

"Oh you do, do you? Care to make it interesting?" She asks.

"I'm all ears" he asks.

"When you lose, I want YOU up on a pole dancing for me, Grey. And a striptease"

His eyes dance playfully and he smiles. "You got a deal." She gets off his lap and he grabs her good hand before she can leave the room. "What do I get if I win?" He asks.

She shoots him a look before chuckling. "Good one" she says before sashaying out of the room.


	11. Entry 10: Svart Jasmin

. **  
ENTRY NUMBER TEN**

* * *

 ** _~Wet, Bruised, and Glittery~_**

 **APOV**

I'm frozen in my spot in the middle of the club Kate dragged me to, and I can't believe I ever let her talk me into this. The time is a little after midnight, and I'm standing in a skimpy red dress that is now glued to my body like a second skin, because according to Kate, this is THE CLUB to spend our last night before graduation at!

And why is this THE CLUB to spend our last night before graduation at, you ask? It's because they have this rule. Once the clock strikes midnight, the fire-sprinkles turn on, leaving you dancing, or in my case, standing, under a downpour of water. The kicker is, at 15 past midnight, the roof is supposed to open up again, but you can never guess what will fall on you next.

 _The mystery is supposed to be part of the excitement!_

Well, at least that's what Kate said.

I still can't believe I let her talk me into this!

I quickly glance at the large digital clock hung behind the club's bar, and I see the time is 12:12. I have 3 minutes to make my escape before God-knows-what falls on me, and I do not want to make my way back home with, god-forbid, feathers on me!

I look around the dance floor, and I notice Kate attached to Elliot's hip as they dance, and I know she's too engrossed in her boyfriend to realize that I'll be leaving. I start making my way to the nearest exit, but as my luck would have it, my heel decides to break right at that minute, making me fall to my knees.

I wince at the pain that shoots through my leg, but I know it's nothing major. I do know that I will have a major bruise within minutes, though. I've always been easy to bruise, and being as clumsy as I am, I almost always have a fresh bruise on my body just as the one before it starts to fade.

As I get myself up to my feet, I look at the clock again, and inwardly wince.

It's 12:14. I won't be able to make it out of here in a minute.

I resolve to my destiny, and I simply pray that feathers will not fall down on us in a minute. As I look around the club again, my eyes find Kate and Elliot once more, and I feel my heart break a little at the sight.

I'm happy for Kate, really, I just wish I was as happy as she was. She and Elliot have been dating for the better part of 3 years, and I'm pretty sure that I'll be standing at her wedding as her maid of honor in the near future.

Kate and I have been friends since we were in high school, and we were both lucky to be able to go to the same university. We had our whole university life planned out even before we moved here; we would live in a dorm for the first year, then we would move out to our own apartment, cordially provided by her father. We would focus on our studies, but not losing ourselves in it either. We would have our fun, but not ignoring the ultimate goal of reaching our dream education.

Kate was able to keep up with this plan, until she met Elliot. I, on the other hand, was never able to have the fun I imagine I would have.

I always imagined that I would meet a nice guy, date for a while, maybe fall in love.

I never allowed myself to.

Why?

The simplest answer would be one-worded.

Christian.

I'm pulled out of my musings as I hear the whole club erupt in loud yells, and I look up, just in time to see the ceiling open up and a shit-ton load of glitter fall on us. I groan as I think of the hurdle of getting the glitter out of my hair and off my body, but then I sigh.

Feathers suddenly sound so much better!

Why did I let her talk me into this?

Because I wanted to get drunk and forget about Christian. However, here I am, sober as a proud recovering alcoholic, and images of grey eyes dancing around my head.

I met Christian on my first week here as we bumped into each other while walking into our psychology lecture.

I was hooked right then and there.

He wasn't.

The best way for me to describe Christian is otherworldly. The guy is unimaginably handsome, and the SOB knows it. His body is that of a Greek god, and he makes sure to maintain it. However, it was his eyes that caught my attention, and I found myself drowning in their grey depths as soon as he asked me if I were ok.

Luckily, I was able to pull myself together quickly. We happened to sit next to each other during that lecture. On our way out of the hall, he said that he hoped to see me around, and I just smiled at him and walked in the opposite direction.

We ran into each other more than once over the following weeks, but the damage had already been done. For the first time in my life, I was attracted to a guy, and I didn't know what to do about it.

When I finally broke down and told Kate about it, she was squealing with happiness and demanding that I ask him out.

I was mortified at the possibility, so she decided to take things in her own hands.

Kate and I were sitting on the grass one day, going over some of our work, when he passed by us. He waved at me and stopped to say hello, and that was when Kate made her move. She told him that she and I were going to grab a coffee, and she wondered if he would like to join us.

He simply shrugged and nodded, so we gathered our things and went to the small coffee shop on campus. As we were waiting in line to make our order, a stunning girl walked up to us, wrapped her arms around Christian's neck, and planted the mother of all kisses on his lips.

I still beat myself up at even thinking that a guy as handsome as Christian would be single.

And to add insult to injury, Sandra turned out to be one of the sweetest and kindest souls I have ever met in my life. I couldn't even bring myself to hate her!

So, I decided to settle on the next best thing.

Being his friend.

So, I put a lid on my feelings, and the four of us became friends. Then we met Jose, who was also amazingly handsome and amazingly gay, and our group of friends grew by one.

Then one day, Christian's brother came to visit him, and that was when we lost Kate from the real world. Elliot charmed Kate within minutes of meeting her, and the two of them hit it off right away. I still don't know how they managed a long-distance relationship, but they did, and they're still going strong until now.

For the whole second year of university, I settled with being Christian's friend, but that didn't mean that my feelings for him waned at all. The fact that he has an amazing personality didn't help matter at all, but he was taken, and I would never allow myself to break up a happy relationship.

However, one day, Sandra announced that she had been accepted in Julliard, and that she was moving to New York to pursue her dream of dancing. We were all very excited for her, even Christian, because we knew just how passionate about it she was. When I asked him about their relationship, he gave me a simple answer.

" _If Elliot can do long-distance, then I sure as hell can."_

Somehow, they managed to do that. Then one day 6 months later, Christian showed up on my doorstep, drunk as fuck, and with tears in his eyes.

Apparently, Sandra couldn't do the long-distance relationship thing anymore, and she had met someone else while there. Christian was heartbroken, and I was heartbroken over his pain. I cried with him, and calmed him down when he swore the roof down. I tried to soothe him as much as I could, and he ended up falling asleep in my arms, but not before asking a question that left me speechless.

" _Why couldn't she have been more like you?"_

After that night, Christian began to change and distance himself. We still hung out, but not as much as we did before. Still, I couldn't stop myself from continuing to have feelings for him. Whenever we met, I found myself falling more in love with him. Whenever he spoke passionately about starting up his own company, I wished he would speak as passionately about me. Whenever he described how he wanted to work on helping the poor and the hungry, I wished he would do something despicable to make me hate him.

But the guy was, _is_ , as perfect as they come, and as each day passed, I found myself falling more in love with him.

I look around the club again, and I realize that people are laughing hysterically at the way they look, and I can't even bring myself to smile.

Christian didn't want to join us today because he was packing. He's flying out to LA right after graduation tomorrow, and I have a feeling that I will not be seeing him for quite a while.

If ever, again.

By now, everyone knows I have feelings for Christian.

Well, everyone _but_ Christian.

Simply because I hide my feelings well around him. I don't want things to become awkward between us. I could've made a move after he and Sandra broke up, but it felt wrong. I saw firsthand just how heartbroken he was over her, and I didn't want to be a rebound.

Then after some time passed, I felt like he was still hung up on her, and I didn't want to be the one to help him forget her, only to have him realize that he could do so much better than me.

However, now as I stand here in the club, not even able to enjoy my time because I can't stop thinking about Christian, I have one question that I really need to find an answer to.

Do I want to just stand back and not tell him how I feel? How bad will I regret not telling him?

 _Ok, maybe 2 questions!_

He's going to LA to start on a deal for his company, and knowing him, I know that he will be too dedicated to it that he will lose track of the real world. Do I want to look back, years from now, and wonder about what could have been?

What's the worse that could happen? It's not like we're going to be seeing each other around campus again and things would be too awkward.

 _He could tell me that he doesn't feel the same, which is most probably the case, but at least I will never regret not telling him._

 _I will know that I have at least tried._

 _If this is going to be the last night for us in the same town, I want us to spend it as more than just friends._

 _I want to have a memory of him that would last me a lifetime._

With my mind made up, I make my way through the dancing crowd towards Kate and Elliot, and I gently tap Elliot on the shoulder.

He turns to look at me with a wide smile on his face, but his smile falls when he sees the determined look on mine.

"What are you up to, Steele?" He asks over the music as he wraps his arm around Kate's shoulder.

"I'm going to see Christian." I shout, and the two of them just stare at me in shock for a few seconds.

"Come again?" Kate finally asks.

"I said I'm going to see Christian. I need to tell him." I say and take a deep breath. "I don't know if I will ever see him again, and I don't want to regret never telling him how I feel."

"About fucking time!" Elliot shouts before he pulls me in for a bone-crushing hug. "Don't be nervous, Ana-Banana! You might be surprised."

"What do you mean?" I ask and pull out of the hug to look at him.

"He doesn't mean anything!" Kate yells and pulls me in for a hug as well. "Take my car. You're sober and you can drive. Elliot and I will take a cab back home."

"Are you sure? The glitter is going to be a bitch to remove."

"I'll have it dry-cleaned." She says, and I squeeze her a bit tighter, silently thanking her for her support. I then remove my shoes, simply because I don't need any more reason to fall on my ass, and I make my way to Kate's car.

20 minutes later, I'm standing in front of Christian's door, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter.

 _Here goes nothing!_

 **CPOV**

I'm sitting in my almost bare living room, sipping on a bottle of beer. All my things are packed and boxed, and they will be shipped back to Seattle tomorrow while I'm at graduation. Then I'm taking a flight down to LA to meet with the owners of a medium telecommunication company that is on the edge of bankruptcy. My dad made good on his promise and gave me access to my trust fund to start my business, as soon as I finished my last final exam, and I'm going to use some of the money to buy out that company.

When I presented my dad with my business plan, he was so impressed he nearly allowed me to go ahead and drop out of university then, but he reasoned that I would make a better impression with a university degree than being a dropout.

I couldn't fault him his logic, but that was not the only reason I decided to stay.

The reason I stayed in university is out partying with my brother and his girlfriend right now, and the thought of her grinding her delectable body against some fucker makes me skin crawl.

When I first met Anastasia, I was still dating Sandra. We had started dating during our senior year, and by the time we started university, we were madly in love with each other.

Well, I guess I was more in love with her than she was ever in love with me, because as soon as she was in Julliard, she was banging her co-dancer.

However, that is beside the point. The point is, I was in love with someone else when I met Anastasia, and I did my damnest to never look at her as anything other than a friend. I knew she was interested in me from the first day we met, but being the amazing woman she is, she stepped back when she realized that I had a girlfriend, and I highly respected her for it.

Other girls wouldn't give a damn, and would throw themselves at me regardless.

God knows that happened more times than I would care to count.

So, we became friends, and I really enjoyed our friendship. The girl is so amazing and down-to-earth; one wouldn't believe she is actually friends with Katherine Kavanaugh. Not that there is anything wrong with Kate, far from it, but the two of them are as different as night and day.

I also think that along the lines of our friendship, she lost her interest in me.

When Sandra was accepted in Julliard, I was really thrilled for her, as were everyone else we knew. She always wanted to be a professional dancer, and I was so proud of her for being able to get in. We decided that we would stay together, that we would give long-distance a shot, and if it didn't work out, that I would drop out and move to New York, having had already started working on my business plan for my company.

Then one day, Sandra called and told me everything, and for the first time in my adult life, I cried. I really loved Sandra, and back then, I seriously thought that she was the one, and to have her admit that she met someone two weeks after she got to New York, and that she cheated on me for almost 6 months before summoning up the courage to tell me, really broke my heart.

That night I got so drunk, I barely remember anything. I know I woke up in Anastasia's bedroom with her arms wrapped around me, but I have little to no recollection of how I got to her apartment or what we talked about.

When I first realized that I was in her bedroom and that she was sleeping beside me, I was terrified that we slept together and that I had ruined our friendship. Then I realized that we were both still fully clothed, and I gave out a sigh of relief so loud I actually woke her up.

After that day, things started to change with Anastasia. It felt like she became more distant from me. Maybe because I put all my strength and efforts into working towards starting up my business, but I still tried to hang out with her as much as I could.

Somewhere along the line, my feelings for her started to change as well. She wasn't simply a friend any more. I began to see her as the attractive, sexy girl she is, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her out.

I wanted to, God knows I did, but something always held me back.

Kate thought it's because I wasn't over Sandra, but I was. Elliot thought it's because I was afraid Anastasia would do to me the same that Sandra did, but I knew she would never. She's too pure hearted and sweet for that.

Now as I think about it, I think I never took that step because I always believed she deserves someone better, someone who can give her everything she would ever want, and until I have my business up and running, I can't be that.

I know for a fact that once I take the first step into starting up my company, I will barely have the time for anything else, and Anastasia deserves a guy who will give her his undivided attention.

I also know for a fact that a girl as beautiful as Anastasia will not be single for long, and I can not ask her to wait for me until my life is in order. However, I do hope that once that happens, that she would be single, and that I can step back into her life and sweep her off her feet.

 _But what if she wasn't?_

I shake my head at the selfish voice in my mind. I can't do that to her. She deserves so much better than occasional phone calls and meeting up once or twice a month at the max. Anastasia might be a saint, but I don't think that even she would tolerate a constantly absent boyfriend.

However, I can't help but wonder how her lips would feel against mine, or how sweet it would be to hear her giggle on daily basis. I wish I could find it in me to just tell her about how I feel. I know she might not still be interested in me, I wouldn't blame her if she weren't, but I would love to know how she would react.

Hell, by now everyone knows how I feel about her.

Well, everyone _but_ her.

Still, I can't bring myself to string her when I don't know how busy my life is going to be after tomorrow.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of frantic knocking on my door, and I wonder who would be stopping by at this hour. I know that it is not Elliot, because if he's not still out partying with Kate, then he's probably already balls deep in her back at her place.

I briefly wonder how it would feel to be balls deep inside Anastasia, but I quickly dismiss the idea as I walk towards the insistent knocking on the door.

"Hold your horses, damn it!" I yell as I yank the door open, and my jaw hits the floor at what I see. On the other side of my door, Anastasia is standing there; soaking wet, and covered in glitter. As my eyes study her body from head to toe, I notice that her knee is bruised, and I quickly recover from my shock to check her over.

"Are you ok?" I say as I pull her inside the apartment, only then noticing that she's also barefoot. "What happened?"

"I'm fine." She says, and I can feel her eyes on me as I try to make sure that there aren't any other bruises under all that god forsaken glitter.

Where the hell did all this glitter come from?

"You don't look fine." I say and move her to sit on the couch. "Where are your shoes?"

"My heel broke, so I took them off." She says, suddenly becoming shy and trying to pull on her dress that is clinging to her body like a second skin.

Is she even wearing a bra under that?

 _Pull it together, Grey!_

"Was there a glitter factory explosion that I was not made aware of?" I try to joke once I'm sure that she's not harmed, aside from the bruise on her knee.

"Blame Kate." She says with a roll of her eyes. "She took us to this club that sprays you with water at midnight then showers you with glitter 15 minutes after."

I raise my eyebrow at her, but she just shakes her head, silently telling me not to ask.

And I know better. If Kate is involved, it must have been something extra wild and crazy.

She and my brother are just perfect for each other!

I shake my head again at the stray thought and bring my attention back to Anastasia, wondering why she's here instead of being at her apartment.

"I'm sorry I came here unannounced, but I wanted to talk to you, and I was worried that I wouldn't have the courage to say what I want to tell you if I waited until after graduation tomorrow, and you're leaving to LA tomorrow and I don't know when I will see you again, if ever." She says in one breath, and I instantly know that she's nervous.

She only blabbers when she is.

"Anastasia, calm down." I say and move to sit beside her. "How about you go and take a shower to rid yourself from all this glitter, and then we can talk."

"No." She says and strongly shakes her head, keeping her eyes downcast. "I don't want to lose my nerve, and if I wait longer I will."

"You're scaring me, Ana." I say and move my hand to rest on her shaking one.

What could be making her so nervous?

"I love you." She suddenly blurts, and my hand freezes over hers.

 _Did I hear that correctly?_

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have said anything, but I had to tell you how I feel about you, how I've been feeling about you for years. I didn't want to move on in life and regret never telling you, and I don't expect anything in return, I just wanted to let you know…"

Her voice suddenly fades away as my body moves on its own volition, and before I even know what I'm doing, I'm kissing her into silence.

I'm not going to let her say anymore, because I might lose my nerves if she does.

She love me. This angel of a woman loves me, and I cannot be happier.

My hand sneaks behind her neck, pulling her even closer to me, and I run the tip of my tongue against her upper lip, silently seeking entrance, which she grants me as she whimpers into my mouth.

I run my tongue against hers gently, but soon, our kiss turns more heated, more passionate, and I force myself to pull away.

If I didn't, I would soon be pulling her dress off.

"Wow." She breathes after a second as she gently runs the tip of her fingers against her lips.

"Yeah, wow." I say as I tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Suddenly, her whole body shivers, and I scold myself for not throwing her into the shower as soon as she stepped foot inside the apartment.

She must be freezing!

"How about that shower, now?" I ask, making her look at me with wide eyes. "You must be freezing, Ana. I don't want you getting sick."

"I don't know how I'll be able to remove all this glitter." She asks with a blush and a giggle, making my heart soar at the sound.

"How about you go get yourself ready for the shower and I'll google it?" I ask with an amused smile, and she simply smiles at me as she stands up.

"Thank you." She says before she disappears down the hall towards the guest-bedroom, and I find myself call out at her to use my bedroom. She simply looks at me with a mixture of surprise and lust in her eyes, and I just shrug back at her.

Something inside me demanded that she used my room, my bathroom, and I wouldn't mind if she even used my things.

The possessive fucker inside me is rearing his head!

Once she disappears into my room, I quickly pull out my phone and google _"how to remove glitter from body"_. The easiest option I find is to rub baby oil or lotion against the glittered area before washing it with water, and I gulp as I imagine Anastasia's naked body slick with oil and under the shower stream.

 _Get it together, Grey! You know she's never had sex before and she will not be falling in bed with you just because she admitted that she loves you!_

I take a deep breath, trying to tame down the bulge forming in my pants, and make my way to my room. Thinking that Anastasia must already be in the bathroom, I walk straight into the room, only to freeze in my tracks when I see her standing in front of my mirror in nothing but her red silk panties.

I suck in a deep breath at the sight, and I don't think there's any blood left in my limbs to allow me to make a single move. Our eyes meet in the mirror, and instead of trying to cover herself, like I imagined she would do, she just bites on her lip, almost making me cum in my pants.

"Anything?" She asks after we've basically fucked each other with our eyes through the mirror.

"Huh?" I ask, not really understanding what she is talking about.

 _Memo to body, please allow blood to move back to brain._

"Did you find anything on how to remove all this glitter?" She asks, but her eyes are still fixed on me.

"Uh… yes." I say, as I am finally able to take a step further inside the room. "The easiest option is baby oil or body lotion. I have some lotion still out in the bathroom."

"I might need some help." She says and now moves around to face me, making me gulp again at the sight of her perky breasts. "There's glitter on areas of my body that I might find hard to reach."

 _Ok. Who is this and what has she done with the shy Anastasia I've known for years?_

 _Wait a minute, who gives a fuck?_

Realizing that Anastasia is being as confident as she can ever be, I take quick steps towards her before I crash my lips to hers again. This time, our kiss is more urgent and passionate, mirroring the desire we both feel towards each other.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask once the need to breathe takes over.

"Yes." She says and bites on her lip again.

"I know you've never done this before, baby." I say, making her blush and look away, but I simply hold her head and force her to look me in the eyes. "Are you sure you want me to be your first?"

"There's only ever been you, Christian." She says, and the way my name falls off her lips sends shivers down my spine.

"There's no going back after this, Anastasia." I say, the words leaving my mouth without going through a filter. "You'll be mine, and only mine."

 _Fuck waiting until my company picks up! She loves me! I will not lose her!_

"You leave tomorrow." She says with a small frown, and I move my fingers over her eyebrows, trying to smooth the frown away.

"I don't care if we're worlds apart, Anastasia." I say, and at that moment, I realize just how much I love her, and that I can never let her go. "We will figure it out, because I love you baby."

"You…" She stutters with wide eyes. "You love me?"

"I love you." I say with a soft smile, and before I know it, she launches herself at me, and again, our lips lock in a passionate embrace.

At that moment in time, I couldn't care less if the outside world crumbled around us, because I held my own world in my arms.

I love her just as she loves me, and I will never let her go.


	12. Entry 11: diamondchild

.  
 **ENTRY NUMBER ELEVEN**

* * *

There's a pounding on my door. I look at the time and it's after midnight. When I open the door it's, Anastasia. She's soaking wet, and she's covered in glitter.

A Lot of glitter. It looks like a fairy farted on her.

"What the hell happened to you?"

She walks in the door after I move to let her in. She removes her long trench coat, to reveal the sexy short plaid skirt, with knee high stockings and tight white tube top she's wearing.

After I finish checking her out, I notice that she has a bruise on her right arm and also on the top of her left shoulder.

"I got into a fight with one of the strippers. Then it started to rain on my walk over here."

"Why the hell are you getting in fights with strippers? And why in the world did you walk here?"

This girl will be the death of me, I swear.

"She wanted what was mine…" She tells me as she walks to my bedroom. I follow after her. "And, I walked here because I was in a hurry to get home and didn't want to wait for your goons to bring me here. Then when I got here I realized I forgot my key. No big deal."

"No big deal?"

The girl has no regard for her safety. Granted she's ballsy as hell, and if anyone were to cross her, I'm sure she could handle herself. However, it's still the middle of the night and she's dressed way to provocatively, because of her job, to be walking home on her own.

"Chill will you. I'm here in one piece...kind of." She grins wickedly at me.

"I should take you over my knee." I mumble under my breath.

Ana works as a bartender at the Risqué lounge downtown. That's where we met a couple months ago.

It was an instant connection. Ok, instant for me. I had to lay on the charm with her to get her to finally go out with me.

It also helped she was wearing a tight black corset, that made her boobs spill out. With a pair of leather shorts and fishnet stockings.

Also, her eyes totally hypnotized me.

 _Blue has always been my favorite color._

Whatever it was, I wanted her, badly.

The club is a high-end strip club, it caters more to the rich clientele.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

 _It's been a long day. To fucking long. And now my brother Elliot wants to meet up for drinks at a strip club._

 _Thankfully the place has some class about it, and nice looking girls._

 _I'm early so I go sit at the bar, and wait._

" _What can I get you, sir?"_

 _I turn around and I come face to face with the hottest girl I've ever seen._

 _I think I'm at a loss for words._

" _Hey, my eyes are up here." she points to her eyes with a slight grin._

" _Oh, I know. You have the most amazing pair of blue eyes." I smile at her._

 _She rolls her eyes. "What do you want to drink, I don't have all day."_

 _Spunky. I like it._

" _I'll have a Hendricks with a lime."_

" _Coming up."_

 _She serves me my drink. I look around the bar and notice its quite empty. I guess Wednesdays are slow days._

 _She's busying herself, as she washes the bar down with a rag._

" _What's your name?" I ask her._

" _Anastasia"_

" _That's a beautiful name. Is it a stage name?"_

" _No, it's my real name." She huffs._

" _Do you dance?"_

 _Because I would love a private dance with her. The image of her grinding on my dick does things to me._

" _No." She says curtly._

 _In a way, I'm relieved when she says that. That means nobody else gets to see her naked._

" _I'm Christian, by the way."_

" _Ok, will there be anything else,_ Christian?"

" _Well, what I would really like is a date with you…"_

" _Never going to happen. I don't date customers." She tells me. "If you don't need anything else, I have other things to do." Anastasia wonders off and I hear a deep howl behind me._

" _Oh, little brother, you just got burned."_

" _Fuck off, Elliot."_

The next day I let my stalking capacities take over. After finding out her full name, from the manager, I ran a background check on her. I found out she worked over at a small publishing house during the day and for extra money works at the club.

She says she does it because she needs to pay off her college loans. She doesn't want to be in debt forever. And with being the stubborn girl, she is, she won't let me pay of her bills.

So, I did what any boy would do when he wants to be with a girl he likes.

I stalked her outside of her work.

 _I notice Anastasia walk out of the SIP building and cross over the street to the deli. I make my way out of my car and follow her into the deli._

 _She's dressed in a Grey pencil skirt and a white blouse, much more business-like than the somewhat dominatrix look she was sporting the other night._

She's still damn sexy.

 _She's standing in line waiting to place her order. I stand right behind her, smelling her heavenly sent._

 _Maybe I sniffed to loud, because she turns around and looks at me._

" _Anastasia, it's so good to see you again."_

" _You too, Christian." She smiles at me, but it doesn't reach her eyes._

 _She turns back around, more interested in the back of the head of the guy in front of her then me._

" _You look lovely by the way." I tell her, trying to draw the attention back to me._

" _Thank you." She mumbles and she finally gets the counter to order her food._

 _This isn't going well for me._

 _She moves aside and I quickly order a sandwich so I can keep talking to her._

" _You said you don't date customers, well I'm not a customer now."_

" _Listen Christian. You wouldn't want anything to do with me. I'm not the girl for you." She tells me before pulling out her cellphone to busy herself._

 _I push her phone down so she'll look at me. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that, Anastasia. Give me a chance."_

" _You're persistent, aren't you?" She looks at me and I see a small smile breaking through that tough exterior._

" _When I know what I want, I tend to go for it till I get it. And I happen to want you." I give her my best mega-watt smile._

 _She shakes her head. "Fine, one date. One! And its Ana."_

" _Ok, Ana. How about tonight?"_

" _Fine. The quicker we get this over with the better." She quips at me._

" _Oh, Ana. You're going to want to be mine, all mine after tonight." I whisper in her ear._

 _She smirks at me, grabbing my tie and wrapping it around her wrist. She stands on her tippy toes, her lips almost touching mine._

 _She's making my dick stir, she's so close, and I have to do everything in me to control myself, not to throw her on a table and fuck her._

" _We will just see about that buster." she winks, and pushes away from me. Her name is called and she walks to the pick up window before coming back to me_

" _Pick me up at seven. I'm sure you know where." Then she's out the door._

 _I proved her right after that date, she couldn't stay away from me. I admired her spunk. She was a breath of fresh air, in my well controlled life._

"So, what happened?" I ask her as she starts taking off her clothes. The glitter sparkles flying everywhere, like fairy dust.

 _Wonder if I could fly now?_

"Barbie, Candy, whatever her name is started going on and on about how you and her have hooked up during the years. That you were only flirting with me to get even with her. She started going on about how nobody would want a mousy girl like me. Well, let's just say I tossed a few choice words at her in return, she grab my hair and tried to hit me. I ended up pushing her away, you know real girly fighting." she laughs. "Anyways, there was a bucket of stripper herpes…"

" _Stripper Herpes?"_

"Glitter. Why there was a bucket, I don't know. Wouldn't surprise me if the club was having some sort of event where the girls roll around in it. Anyways, we both kind of tripped and the bucket spilled on both of us. After that I finally got the upper hand and got her to the ground. Sawyer ended up pulling me off of her. However, it left us both a sparkling mess."

Sawyer is one of the bouncers at the club.

"You know glitter is almost as bad as sand if not worse, I'm going to be finding it everywhere for months." She finishes striping, putting her clothes in her empty hamper, and heads to the bathroom.

She's right about the glitter, it's already shining on my carpet.

I remove my clothes so I can join her in the shower.

I know how to make her feel better

When I enter the bathroom, she's already standing under the hot stream of water. I open the door to the shower and join her.

I run my hand down her shoulders and her arms, looking over the bruises.

"I'm surprised she was able to get her hands on you."

"These aren't from her. The one on my arm is from Sawyer holding me back. The other is from the bucket of glitter. You know how easily I bruise." She tells me, as she turns around and wraps her arms around my waist.

Yes, I do.

Our first date, I left my mark on her, then.

 _We walk out of the restaurant after finishing our dinner. She's so frustrating. I know she wants me, she gave me hints the whole dinner._

 _She would keep lightly touching me, rather it was my hand or my leg. She would bat those pretty little eyes at me, and sink her teeth into her damn lip. She knew what the fuck she was doing to me._

 _But that smart mouth of hers. Every conversation we would have, she would make a comment that would_ _just want to put her over my knee and spank her._

" _When can I see you again?" I ask her_

Just admit baby, I effect you. You want this.

" _I don't know. I'm really busy…" She starts, sounding bored. "Have to wash my hair and stuff."_

 _I grab her arm and pull her into the ally and push her up against the wall. I kiss her with some much force, I feel like I could just climb into her. Her tongue tangles with mine, she's moaning against me, her hips circling against my hardened bulge, trying to get some friction._

" _Tell me you want me." I demand of her, our faces still dangerously close to each other_

" _Never!' She spits out._

 _I slam my lips to hers again. Her hands run through my hair and she pulls harshly. I can feel the heat coming from her._

 _I move my lips down her face and latch onto her neck. My one hand holding on to her hip tightly, my other grabbing and handful of her breast, as my thumb brushes over her harden nipple._

 _I pull make and look at her, I notice I marked her neck. She'll have a nice little love bite in the morning._

 _She won't be able to deny she's mine now._

" _Tell me?" I grit out._

 _She shakes her head, biting her lip._

 _Fuck it, I want her and I want her bad._

 _I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder._

" _What are you doing?" She squeals. She might be fighting it, but I know she's loving it._

 _I smack her ass, and she lets out half yelp half moan._

" _You like it, why are you denying yourself?"_

" _Because it's fun." She's laughing, still kicking her legs at me._

" _Fun?" I smack her ass again._

" _I love getting you all flustered and worked up. You have this cute little vein in your forehead that pulsates when you get that way." She giggles._

 _Oh, that fucking giggle._

" _Is that so?"_

" _Yes." she squeals again when I smack her ass again._

 _I find our way back to my car. My driver, Taylor is standing outside the driver's side. I open the back door and through Ana into the back seat._

 _She's laughing, her smile is so infectious, that I can't help but smile and laugh too._

 _I tell Taylor to take us back to my place and crawl in the back with her._

 _We're making out, Ana is straddling my lap as Taylor drives. My hand finds it's way under her skirt and my hand kneads her almost bare ass._

" _I'm going to fuck you tonight, Anastasia."_

 _She doesn't say anything, just her moans filling the cab of the car._

 _I don't know how it happened, but we find our way into my apartment and into my bedroom. Our clothes have been scattered all over the floor._

 _She's standing naked in front me, god she's been looking than I ever imagined. She's tight and toned, her breast are perky, and her pink nipples are rock hard._

 _I can't help but want to suck on them._

 _I latch my lips to them, as her hands grab my hair again, pushing me more into her. I run my right hand down her stomach and to her core, before dipping my fingers into her warmth._

" _Baby, you're soaking. You do want me." I ask her, peering up at her, my mouth still hovering over nipple._

" _Yes, fuck me. Christian. Please."_

" _Turn around and bend over the bed, baby."_

" _Yes, Sir."_

 _Oh, I like that._

 _She bends over, sticking her tight ass in the air. That's when I notice my handprint on her ass, already starting to bruise already. I run my hand over it softly._

" _Baby, I didn't mean too..."_

 _She looks behind her and catches a glimpse of her ass in the mirror that's on my dresser._

" _Oh,_ that _. I'm fine, Christian. I bruise at the slightest touch sometimes. Now will you please fuck me. And stop moping."_

" _Whatever you say, baby."_

 _I grab her hips and drive myself home._

"Christian?" I open my eyes, the water from the shower still falling over my body.

I see Ana and she's looking up at me curiously.

"I lost you there for a minute." She tells me again, laying a kiss on my chest.

"Sorry. I was just remembering our first time." I smile down at her and kiss her nose.

"Well, that explains why you're poking me in the stomach now."

"Just being around you makes me like this." I push my dick into her even more.

"Let me reenact our first shower." I pick her up as she wraps her legs around me. I push her against the wall, and fuck her senseless.

The next morning I awake, and Ana is wrapped around, no she's on top of me, my dick still inside of her. This nothing better than waking up like this in the morning.

Today we officially have been dating for three months. She has to work tonight, but I won't let that put a damper on my plans.

"Babe," I try to wake her, when she doesn't budge I thrust my hips into her.

Her eyes open wide and a smile graces those beautiful lips.

"Morning."

"Morning..." She rolls her hips. I roll her over and push her into the mattress, never disconnecting from her.

After a delicious wake up call, I roll off of her, and get out of bed.

"I hate Thursdays" She groans.

"Why?"

"So, close to Friday not yet Saturday." She tells me, sitting up in bed, the sheet wrapped around her naked body.

"I thought you hated Mondays."

"Oh, I hate that day too. I only like the days that's start with S's." She smiles at me.

"But, you work Saturday's." I remind her.

"Yeah? I make the best tips on Saturday. And my favorite customer visits me, with his bonehead brother, so I can't complain too much."

"Well, who knows Thursday might surprise you."

"Doubt it." She groans and collapses back in bed.

I crawl back to her, giving her a whack on the ass. "Get up."

"Never!"

"We'll see about that." I start to tickle her and she starts laughing like crazy.

"Stop. You ox. Stop." She says between her laughter.

"Never!" I use her words against her and keep tickling her.

"Stop, please" She begs.

I stop tickling her and gather her in my arms. I give her kiss and move off the bed.

"Up, woman. We have work."

The day passes slowly. I have everything ready for tonight. I just hope she likes it.

It's 8:00 as I walk into Risqué Lounge. I'm surround by a group of my security guys, the bouncers that work at the club and my brother Elliot.. They're flanking me, so Ana won't be able to see me right away. Everyone is carrying different color bouquet of roses.

I peek through the arms of the guys and see Ana standing at the bar. Not a customer in sight. I rented out the place tonight, and the only girls working are the one's Ana is friends with. She doesn't notice at first us walking towards her. When she does, her mouth falls open in surprise.

"What's going on?"

The guys set the flowers on the bar and move away so they reveal me.

"Christian? What are you doing?" She laughs nervously. She comes from around the bar and is standing in front of me.

I fall down to my knee and pull out the ring box that's been burning a hole in my pocket for a week.

"Ana, three months ago, I saw you for the first time working behind this bar. I fell for you hard. You were spunky, sexy, and you turned me down. I wanted you so bad that I might have stalked you, and made sure I ran into you again. You tried telling me you weren't the girl for me. Well, honey you are more then the perfect girl for me. Everything about you makes me happy and I couldn't picture my life with you and that smart mouth. So, Anastasia Steele, will you marry me?"

I open the ring box and present to her.

"You want me to what?" She asks shocked. Her eyes wide and she looks at me up and down.

Her mouth is gaping open, and she's starting to catch flies.

"Marry Me?" I ask her again

…. It's quiet. She's not saying anything…

…. Crickets

….Why is she looking at me like that?

…. Answer me, woman!

…. I'm starting to sweat, I'm thankful for deodorant.

…. Why the hell is she leaving me hanging like this?

…. She eyes the ring and back at me

…..She's driving me nuts.

…..Why the hell is it so hot in here?

…..My knee is starting to kill me.

….Come on, I'm getting old here, babe

…..Please put me out of my misery

…..It's shiny, baby, almost like that glitter still in your hair

…..Come on, it would look good on that finger

….Damn it, say yes.

.….tick tock tick tock

…..I think my hair is going gray.

….Fine! I'll try again

…. "I want you to Marry me, you stubborn, impossible, woman?" I ask her again, with more force that I'm almost yelling. I'm sure my face is red from all the tension and waiting.

She starts to giggle, "Yes! I'll marry you, you giant ox" She jumps in my arms as soon as I stand and I spin her around. I put her down and slip the ring on her finger.

"Why did you leave me hanging for so long?" I ask her exasperated.

She starts to laugh at me. "It was only a couple of seconds after you asked. I was about to say yes, when you snapped your head off at me."

"God, it felt like forever." I huff before I slam my lips to hers.

"I love you," I say my lips still on hers.

"I love you, more."


	13. Entry 12: lovesfiftyshades

.  
 **ENTRY NUMBER TWELVE**

* * *

 _She showed up at his door, soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter_.

 _ **~Glitter Girl~**_

 **HER POINT OF VIEW**

It's been a year today, Christmas Eve, since my life changed forever. When I thought it was ending, little did I know it was just beginning.

The small cabin I rent is up a mountain just outside Aspen. I want a new start on my own, but know I need to make money quickly to repay student loans so I've taken a job teaching with a very good salary.

My degree from The University of Washington hangs proudly in my little cabin. I loved my four years in university; reading books and working in the library. The English degree and my summa cum laude recognition for the highest grades had come easy. Friends however, well, it seemed I always attracted the wrong kind of person into my life.

Now I am the lead teacher in a room full of twenty four-year-olds at the most prestigious private school in Aspen. The salary is much better than the public schools and even though not my first choice in careers; it's working out great so far.

We'd have so much fun make Christmas crafts, but if I never see a tube of glitter again, it would not be long enough. The girls in my class love things that sparkle more than any other craft we work on.

As the boys are busy painting with the teacher's aide, my first new friend, I have the girls making glitter globes.

They really turn out well; glitter calmly settles at the bottom of the glass globe until you give the globe a shake. And then the glitter floats around in the water of the globe for several minutes before settling to the bottom once again.

One of the girls suggests we put all the left0ver glitter in a jar so I'd remember each of their individual creations over the holidays.

"Miss Steele?"

"Yes, Samantha?" I turn to face the cherub face of one of my favorite students. Her long hair its as white as the snow outside and her eyes as crystal clear blue as the sky on a sunny day.

"Could we place all the glitter in a jar for you? That way you'll remember all our glitter globes over the holiday."

Previously, we'd make cookies in a jar as gifts and I had several large jars left over.

"I think that is a wonderful idea Samantha. Once everyone has finished their globe, each of you can pour the remainder of your glitter into a jar for me to keep."

Once the crafts are complete, all the girls come one by one and gently pour their glitter into a jar. When everyone finishes, and it seems as if glitter is everywhere, I praise and thank them all for their kind gesture and I adore the jar full of multicolored glitter.

This is the last day of school until after the holidays and it's bittersweet saying goodbye to all my students. As we'd had cookies at the end of the day, inviting their parents to join us, each of them presented me with a gift. I now have a collection of new scarves, a few pairs of gloves, and gift cards to every restaurant in Aspen. My favorite gift came from my favorite girl, Samantha.

She'd had a hard time coming to school this year, having spent the first four years of life at home with her mother. She is brilliant, but had more separation anxiety than the others. Our wonderful relationship now is thanks to hard work and lots of tears. I know now she trusts me and I love spending time with her, I've actually babysat a few times for her mom when her dad is out of town. They don't have any family close by to depend on, and neither do I. Samantha has not cried in months, not until the last day of school.

She's the last one in the classroom and I notice she and her mom are purposefully waiting for everyone else to leave.

"Miss Steele, I have a gift for you," she tells me as she comes up and gives me a long, tight hug. I'd sat in my rocking chair so I could be eye level with my students.

"Why, thank you Miss Samantha; you didn't have to do anything for me." I hug her back and as usual, I am never first to let go; I always let go once the child lets go. That way I know their love tank is full, them letting go when they'd had enough. Hugs are rare in my life, and I cherish each one I receive from these precious little angels.

She let go of my neck and stood back, anxiously awaiting my reaction to her gift.

Inside the large pink envelope is a homemade card and yet another gift card. She has signed the card perfectly, her penmanship amazing for a four year old.

"Let's see what we have here," I say as I open the smaller envelope surrounding the gift card.

I'm shocked to see the generous offering, a fifteen hundred dollar gift card to the St. Regis Aspen Resort and the Remede Aspen Spa.

"Mrs. Grey, I'm sorry, I can't accept a gift like this. I, uh, this is way too much."

Samantha's face falls and I can't stand the thought of hurting her but this is outrageous. It's almost half what I bring home in a month.

"Miss Steele, my husband and I insist. I knew you'd react this way and I contacted the headmaster to insure there'd be no repercussions for you accepting this gift and I was assured, whatever we gift you is between you and my family. It's the least we can do for you; you've changed our daughter's life."

"Mrs. Grey; Samantha came to me and was simply frightened of being away from you, it's something lot's of children her age deal with. All I did was make her feel safe and comfortable, it's what I try to do for all my children."

"Miss Steele, Mrs. Grey, please excuse me; I'm sorry to interrupt but I have a flight to catch this afternoon back home to San Fransisco. I want to say goodbye before I leave." Lauren, my assistant, is going home to her family today and won't be back in Aspen until the day before school begins after the first of the year.

"Excuse me for a moment, Mrs. Grey." She smiles and takes Samantha's hand.

"Are you okay, Ana?" Lauren asks, the look on my face must be one of shock, still unbelieving of the gift card in my hand.

"The Grey's gave me a very generous gift card to St. Regis; I can't accept it but I don't want to offend them."

"Ana, don't you know who her husband is? He's one of the most wealthy me in the country? I'm sure he makes more money in a day than you make in a month; trust me, this is nothing to them. Just say 'thank you' and make a reservation and enjoy it!"

I know Mr. Grey is a famous business man, but I had no idea of their income; Mrs. Grey and Samantha act like simple people and certainly don't flaunt their wealth.

We quickly hug and Lauren is out the door, waving her goodbye and Merry Christmas wishes as she rushes to make her flight.

Mrs. Grey and Samantha are sitting at Samantha's desk and looking though a book Samantha can read word for word.

I take the chair beside Samantha and try to find something to say.

"Mrs. Grey, this gift is the most generous gift I've ever received, from anyone. While I think it is way too much, I want to thank you for your generosity. I, well, I really can't thank you enough."

"Seeing my daughter smile every day when I pick her up is thanks enough. Now you make a reservation over the holidays, I think this is enough for one night at the hotel and all day in the spa. You'll be so relaxed after the spa you won't want to drive back home." She smiles as if she knows from experience.

"I know it will be amazing, thank you again for your generosity."

"Thank you, Samantha; this is the best Christmas gift I've ever received." I reach down to hug her and she grabs my neck and would not let go. I pick her up and she clings even tighter.

I realize quickly she is crying.

"Hey sweet girl, what are those tears for? It's Christmas and you're on vacation! You should be smiling, not crying!"

"I can't imagine not seeing you for two weeks." She sniffles and wipes her nose as she tries to hold her emotion at bay.

"Awe, sweetheart; you'll have so much fun with your mom and dad and don't forget, Santa comes in just a few days."

"I know, but I'll really miss you, Miss Steele." She hugs me again and I smile helplessly at her mother.

"Come on Sammie, let's head home so Miss Steele can begin her vacation, too." Her mom reaches for her and she lets go of me to go to her mom.

"Have a wonderful vacation, Samantha; your mom has my cell phone number, ask her to send me a picture of all your gifts on Christmas morning."

"I will Miss Steele, and you'll send me picture of you, won't you?"

I hesitate for just a moment..."Sure I will." I tell them both.

As they walk out of my classroom hand in hand, my heart breaks just a little as I realize I'll never have what they have. Money, marriage and motherhood don't seem likely in my future.

I drive up the mountain once more in my used Jeep; thankful my dad helped me trade in my old Volkswagen for a more mountain friendly vehicle when he came to visit the summer I moved here.

He's a good man, Raymond Steele, the only father I've ever known. I believe he was hurt when I moved away, but understood my need to leave the area and become my own person. I heard from him a few weeks ago when his schedule at the precinct came out for the holidays.

"Annie, I'm sorry but I'll be working through the holidays. You know those young newlyweds and new fathers think they should be off on Christmas. They know I'm alone and while I know they aren't taking advantage, I gladly agree to work so they can be home with their families. You don't mind do you, honey?"

"Of course not, Dad; I totally understand. I'm thankful for all the Christmases someone else worked so you could be at home with me."

We wished each other well and promised to plan a spring break vacation together.

I never gave thought to spending Christmas with my mom; I rarely hear from her as she is now across the country with husband number four. This one seems much better than number three; but they have their own life now and there is no room in it for me.

She missed my high school and college graduations, something my dad will never forgive her for; she rarely remembers my birthday and holidays are too busy trying to impress her latest friends and new family. I'd long ago realized I am a mistake in her life.

When I arrive home, knowing my next two weeks calendar is completely empty, I decide to make my appointment for my spa day. There is a forecast for snow later in the week and even though I'm comfortable driving, I decide to stock my fridge, download a few books and stay in by the fire and read my way through the holidays.

The spa and hotel has an opening for December twenty-third; I'll have my spa day all day, spend the night of the twenty-third and head back home on Christmas Eve.

Mrs. Grey is right. I check in to the spa with my small overnight tote and I'm immediately checked in to my room as well.

I have the total spa experience. First an hour long massage, then a facial. Then a manicure and pedicure, I'm embarrassed for them to see my boot clad feet. Then I have a hair cut. My long brown hair had been neglected for over a year.

As I sit in the stylist chair, he looks at me questioning what he should do with my waist long hair.

"So, Miss Steele, what did you have in mind today?" Franco asks in what I feel sure was a fake accent. He pulls my hair back and into a hand held pony tail.

"Shall we cut some of the length today?" I almost go into a panic. My hair has not been short since ninth grade, on one of the worst days of my life.

 _My mom has taken me away from my dad, from Washington and moved me to Texas to join her and new husband number three. I hate him from the day I see him. My dad hates him, he is so afraid for me I realize later, he's bought me a cell phone, telling me to keep is secret from my mom and to use it only to call him and if I ever need him or have an emergency._

 _Little did we both know, I'd need the phone sooner rather than later._

 _My long hair has become unruly in the Texas heat so one day after school, I decide to trim it. I am in the bathroom and I hear the door slam downstairs. My mom never slams the door so I know it is her husband. I quietly close and lock the bathroom door. Trying not to make a mess, I've taken off my jeans and am standing here in a t-shirt, my bra and panties. Husband number three already looks at me all the time and takes every opportunity to brush up against me; most of the time in almost inappropriate ways._

 _He comes upstairs and I am about half way through trimming my waist long hair. I almost cut myself as he bangs on the door. There is only one bathroom upstairs and one downstairs. He knows I am in the bathroom and I know he will not give up once he starts. Gathering my scissors and cleaning up the best I can, I wrap a towel around me and open the door._

" _Excuse me, I'll be out of your way," I say as I try to escape, planning to run to my room and lock the door. He grabs my arm as I go by, the scissors falling to the floor and my towel dropping as I try to catch the scissors._

" _Well, well, well, what do we have hear, Miss Anastasia? Were you waiting on me to get home?" He reaches out and rubs a finger down my cheek._

" _No, sir; I am just trimming my hair." I try to pull away from him, afraid for the first time I am in the house alone with with him and no hope of my mom returning any time soon._

" _Well let me help you, I cut the guys hair back when I was in the Army. I'm sure I can cut yours."_

 _He smells of cigarette's and beer, and I almost vomit as he comes closer to me._

" _Thank you, but I can finish in my room." Again, I try to pull away._

" _I said, I will help you." His grip tightens on my arm, that he holds just beside my breast. Knowing I am not going to win this argument, I decide to go along to try to keep him calm._

 _It is obvious, as I'd bent over and trimmed about a foot off my hair, that the left side is sharply shorter than the right side of my hair as it hangs down my shoulders and over my arms._

 _He pulls me back into the bathroom and pushes me down onto the bench at the vanity. A wide mirror spread before us so I can see everything he is doing._

 _He takes my brush and goes through my hair multiple times, rubbing his hands across my neck and shoulders with each pass. Inside my mind is screaming at me to get away from him, but I fear it will be worse if I run. And where could I go, I am in a t-shirt and my panties; my jeans folded neatly on my bed._

 _Once my hair is brushed to his satisfaction; he takes the scissors and I silently pray, 'Please don't let him cut me with the sharp  
knives in his hand'._

 _He carefully lifts my hair at the center of my back with his left hand as he holds the scissors in his right hand. I feel them cut across the hair in his hand and as if my hair has nerves in it, I feel as if it burns with each clip. He pulls my hair backward with his left hand, so there was no way I can look down to see how much he is cutting._

 _He pulls all my hair back behind me as chunk after chunk falls to the ground. My head feels too light, my hair is very thick and heavy. As he moves to the left, I tell him I've already cut that side._

" _I've already trimmed the left side, you won't need to do any trimming there. Thank you for helping me. I'll clean in here and go to my room."_

 _His right hand presses against me shoulder and the cool blade of the scissors rests against my neck._

" _Sit. Still. Stay. Seated." He pronounces each word alone and his eyes bore into mine reflected in the mirror._

 _Afraid if I move he'll cut my neck, accidentally of course; I stay seated, barely able to breathe._

 _He steps to my left side, picks up a bunch of my hair, and begins to cut from the back toward the front across my shoulder. My heavy hair cascades to the floor and then swings back grazing the top of my left shoulder._

 _My hands go to my mouth as I gasp, and hot tears begin to pour from my eyes._

" _No, Stephen; you've cut too much." Already, I know it is too late. As I try to stand, again, he jerks me back down to the bench._

" _I'm tired of you hiding behind this waist-long mop of hair. I want it short so I can see you better." He leans down to my ear, his breath as hot as fire. "Now, pretty little girl, I can see those perfect tits of yours." His cold rough finger rubs just below my neckline, across the front of my chest._

 _In that moment, I am afraid for my life. I stare back at him in the mirror, speechless as he cuts all my hair off. I vow then and there, if I have to walk from Texas to Washington, I'll never spend another night in this house again. He lets me go without touching me again._

 _I calmly leave the bathroom and go to my room. As quietly as I can, I dig the cell phone my dad gave me from a hidden pocket in my book bag._

" _Stephen cut all my hair off, please rescue me." I send the text with as much information in as few words as possible._

" _On my way, are you safe?" My dad responds immediately._

" _For now," I respond._

 _My dad, along with the local police chief, rescue me that evening._

 _My mom is horrified when she answers the door, having no idea what is going on._

 _Dad texted to say he'd arrive around nine thirty that evening and come to get me; he asks me to pack everything I want, as I will not be coming back._

 _I stay in my room, pack a few clothes, my journal and a few books my dad has given me._

 _When I hear the commotion of my mom wanting to know what is going on, I know it'll be safe to finally leave my room and head downstairs._

 _My mom is shocked when she see's me coming down the stairs, packed and with short hair._

" _My God, Ana, what did you do to your hair?" She asks._

 _I go straight into my father's arms and fall apart._

" _Your husband..." my dad tries to gather his thoughts but is speechless as he rubs my back and holds me tightly in his arms._

" _Mrs. Morton," the police officer says, "Your daughter sent a text to her father this afternoon stating your husband cut all her hair off and asked him to come rescue her."_

 _My mother burst into laughter; "Oh Ana, you've got to be kidding me." "Stephen!" She yells up the stairs for her husband to come down._

" _What's he doing here," he asks as he comes stumbling down the stairs. Obviously, he'd had more to drink since my haircut._

" _Ana said you cut her hair?" My mom looks at Stephen and then back to me._

" _Yeah, I did. She was trying to cut it when I got home and she asked me to help her. I told her I'd cut a few guys hair back in the Army and made sure she wanted my help and she told me to cut it all off, it was too hot for long hair in Texas."_

" _That's not true!" I cry as I pull away from my dad._

" _Ana...Ray, you know she always wants to be the center of attention; she is such a little drama queen." My mother must hate me._

 _I crumble into my dad's arms._

" _Please believe me, Daddy; I was trimming my hair and he made me let him cut it...I'd only cut about twelve inches; he's the one who cut it up to my shoulders."_

" _I believe you baby, I believe you." Relief floods me as he holds me, soothing me in his arms._

" _I'm taking her home with me." Ray said._

" _You don't have custody of her, she is MY daughter, not YOURS!" My mother screams._

" _Please officer," I began to beg, please let me go home with my daddy, please don't make he stay here._

I'm pulled from my memories as Franco stops brushing my hair.

I did go home with my dad and through the courts and a guardian ad litem, full custody for me was given to my dad with open visitation for my mom. Funny, she never returned to Washington state since and husband number three is history.

"I want about twelve inches taken off; I still want it to hang to my elbows and down my back."

"Miss Steele, your hair is thick and beautiful; would you consider donating it to Locks of Love? I'm sure some little girl who does not have any hair would love to have this on her head."

"I've never done that, but yes, absolutely; just tell me what I need to do."

I walk out of the salon with my hair noticeably shorter to me, a long pony tail of hair in a zip lock bag for me to send off; some layers in the front and a few gentle highlights. I bought a dress in the shoppe in the lobby and here I am, massaged, painted, new hair cut and no one to share it with. Story of my life, always alone. I've grown used to it but sometimes I long for someone to share things with. I order room service, watch a movie and check the weather before I get into this luxury bed. There is a promise of a white Christmas, with snow fall predicted to start early afternoon tomorrow and last for several days. I'll easily make it home before the storm hits.

When the bright sun shines into the room, I'm momentarily disoriented, forgetting I've spent the night in a luxury room at the St. Regis. My nights are normally interrupted by dreams, occasional nightmares of what might have happened earlier in my life. I don't remember sleeping through the night in years. I may have to invest in one of these beds.

By the time I shower, have breakfast and gather my belongings; I check out and the clouds are covering the sun. They are thick to the point of blocking almost all daylight, a dreary winter day has set it. I quickly take inventory before I head up the mountain. My firewood is stocked, my fridge is stocked and should the power go out, the two fireplaces will provide light and warmth.

I pull out of the hotel parking lot, drive through town and turn to go up the winding road to my cabin. My rental is set about twenty yards off the road, and easily seen from the highway. Most of the houses and chalet's are set off the road, invisible behind gated driveways.

As I go around the curves up the mountain, something it rattling in the floor of the passenger side. It almost sounds like glass. Once I'm in the straightaway, I look down, and there rolling back and forth against the metal bars holding the passenger seat in place is my jar of glitter made by my girls at school. If this jar breaks, there will be glitter EVERYWHERE!

The snow is coming down in a fury now, I'm barely able to see with my wipers on high. The road is covered and even though I've driven up this mountain hundreds of times, day and night, I can no longer tell where the road ends and the ditch begins. The plows will be out soon, but for now, a thick blanket of white is all I see.

The higher I climb, the thicker the snow falls. I'm in four wheel drive and feel confident driving, as long as I stay out of the ditch. I know a sharp curve it up ahead and if the jar of glitter is not secured, it'll surely burst. I check before and behind me and the road is clear of vehicles; of course no one is out driving in this blizzard. I slowly unbuckle my seat belt and bend over quickly to capture the glitter. Jar in hand, I snap up and before I can do anything else, a truck comes flying by me down the mountain. Panicked, I slam on the breaks, the Jeep begins to spin around in the road, the jar of glitter goes flying, crashing down onto a metal drink cup, shattering and covering me and my car in glitter. As I come to an abrupt stop, my head hits the side window, the airbag crashes into my chest, I feel like I'm being stabbed in my right leg and all I can think is, my poor little babies made this glitter jar for me and I've ruined it. As all goes black in front of me, I see glitter raining down like the snow; and then there is nothing.

HIS POINT OF VIEW

Much to their regret, I decide to come to Aspen early. Work and the travel associated with it is killing me, but I love it. The weeks spent traveling the world have made me an international business man, feared and respected around the globe. For my company, the growth in business and money is unprecedented. Some people younger than me have inherited family wealth making them billionaires on paper. No one younger than me has acquired my level of wealth by hard work alone. I answer to no one, the master of my own universe.

My adrenalin runs freely as I acquire and merge companies around the world; it left little time for anything else. My few spare moments are spent alone and in the air. Gliding, flying my helicopter for pure joy; it's really ironic since at least a third of my time is spent on one of my jets traveling for business. On the jet, I'm not in control. In my glider or helicopter it's me and nature.

I've met with my management teams and decide to close a few days before Christmas and reopen after New Years. I need some down time. My brain needs rest. For that reason, I leave my family and come up the mountain to one of my favorite places on earth, my mountain home high above the town of Aspen. I rarely come here, and when I do my family is usually with me. They are coming, of course, but it'll be the day after Christmas. For the next few days, I'm alone.

There is security in the smaller cabin next door and everyone has orders to leave me alone.

My housekeeper is back the day after Christmas when my family arrives. She's stocked the pantry, fridge and freezer with meals I only have to heat and eat. She keeps this place running for me and her husband cares for the grounds. They've worked for me since I bought this house several years ago. It's their home year round; they've headed to Oregon to visit their grandchildren for the holidays. The house, although I don't get to visit much, feels lived in and like home.

The snow has been coming down for hours. Plows keep the roads clear, but there is nothing they can do when the snow is continually falling. They'll scrape in the morning and travel should be easy for anyone heading out on Christmas Day.

There's a tree decorated in the family room and I've placed my gifts around the base. I've never cared much for Christmas, especially not since I began to work. I see everyone I care for has not only what they need, but what they want throughout the year. Retail has turned this holiday into a fiasco and money making scheme, luring customer in to run up credit card debt and spend beyond their means. The following year they'd suffer the consequences for their spending spree's, but no one seemed to care, why should I. I have more money than I could spend in ten lifetimes. After my start in life, I still have to remind myself on a regular basis, I am okay, I have plenty of food and money; my family loves me and no one can hurt me again.

I've just had an awesome steak; at least I'm capable of turning on the stovetop grill and flipping a piece of meat. Salad and veggies are already prepared and just waiting on me to plate.

The fire is roaring in the den and since it's dark out, I can no longer see the snow fall. I settle on the dark leather couch in front of the fire with a brandy and open my computer to check emails the first time today.

There's one from my mom, wishing me a Merry Christmas and saying she can't wait to spend the week here. My brother sent one, of course it opens with a naked Santa since he doesn't have a serious bone in his body. Well, except when it comes to his business sense. He's confined to the western United States, has more work than he could possibly do and just this year earned his first billion. I am so proud of him, always having looked up to him and now sharing so much of our lives as we take the world by storm. The Grey Brothers are a pair to be feared.

I must have fallen asleep, my head is back, my glass is empty and my computer beside me. What is that bumping noise? If I didn't know better, I'd swear someone is at the door. One of the front porch chairs must be banging in the wind.

I slip on my shoes and go to the door. The rhythm is too steady to be a chair in the wind. I flip on the lights to see what's going on.

When I open the door, I look back at the bottle of brandy checking how much I'd drank. Only one glass, that's what I thought.

I have to do a double take when there standing at my door, is the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, she is soaking wet, her face bruised and she's covered in glitter.

No sooner have I opened the door to ask how I could help her, she is falling into my arms, passed out cold. Now what do I do?

"Good morning, Mom, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you, too, sweetheart; you're up mighty early on Christmas morning."

"Mom, I need your help."

"What is it son? Are you trying to cook again?"

"No, no Mom; it's nothing like that. Listen, last night, around nine, a woman stumbled up to my door. Now don't laugh but she was soaking wet from the snow, bruised on her face, and get this, covered in glitter. As soon as I open the door, she passes out into my arms. Mom, she was soaked; I had to get her wet clothes off her; and when I did, her skin was like ice so I put her in a warm bath. She moaned a few times but never did fully wake. I dressed her in flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve t-shirt and put her in my bed under several blankets. I had a roaring fire going and her skin warmed but she won't wake up. I checked her over and it seems she has bruises on the left side of her face and a superficial cut on her right thigh and a few cuts on her right hand. She didn't have any identification and I have no idea what happened to her.

Should I take her to the hospital?"

"Son, she's been out nine hours; it's now six in the morning. If you can't wake her, you are going to have to get help for her."

"Mom, it's going to be impossible to get her out of the house; it's snowed all night and the roads won't be plowed for another hour or so, as soon as the sun comes up. Honest to God, mom, I think she's exhausted and just sleeping."

"Did you sleep with her, son?"

"What?" I scream into the phone; what kind of monster does my mother believe I am.

"Son, I didn't ask if you had sex with her, I asked if you slept in the bed beside her? Did she move at all during the night, has she moved her arms or legs during the night?"

"Oh, sorry Mom; yes, yes I did lay beside her all night. I haven't slept much, I watched her all night to make sure she was breathing. Once she warmed, her heart rate was normal and her breathing was deep and even. She did move a little during the night, her arms and legs, but she never turned over or tried to get up."

"Try to wake her, use a cool cloth on her face and if she doesn't open her eyes, you call 911 and have them at your house as soon as they can get there."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Honey, call me back if you need me, okay?"

"Thanks, Mom; I know I can always count on you."

"I love you son; we'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you, too, Mom; see you tomorrow."

I rush back to my bedroom and am shocked at what I see. Sitting on the side of my bed is the beautiful woman who fell into my arms last night. Long beautiful brown hair, the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen and the fear of God written all over her face.

As soon as she sees me she jumps under the blankets and begins to shiver.

"Pl...Please don't hurt me." She holds the blanket under her chin leaving just enough room for her to speak.

I hold both my hands up in surrender.

"I promise, I'm not going to hurt you; I want to help you. Do you remember what happened last night?"

"Um, I'm really thirsty, could I have some water please?"

"I'll do you one better, how about some juice?" Thank goodness for the mini-fridge in my master suite; it's come in handy more times than I can count.

I retrieve the juice and a glass from the cabinet and slowly walk toward her.

"I don't want to scare you; I promise, I'm an upstanding, law abiding citizen; I'm anti-gun all the way, there's not even one in the house. I'm going to put the juice and glass on the table beside you and let you reach for it."

"Thank you, sir." God, she's has the most beautiful, full, pink, lips I've ever seen.

I back up toward the chair by my bed and sit down a safe distance from her.

"So, do you remember last night?"

"I left the hotel to drive home and my glitter jar broke." Okay, makes no sense to me.

"Yeah, about that; you were covered in glitter from head to toe when you fell in my door."

She drinks her juice from the sealed bottle; at least she can be sure I didn't tamper with her drink.

"What do you mean, fell in your door?"

"Well, I had fallen asleep downstairs in front of the fire and heard something banging, I thought it was one of the rocking chairs banging against the house in the wind. I opened the door to check, and there you stood. I opened the door to ask how I could help you and you passed out into my arms. I brought you in, warmed you up, tried to remove as much glitter as possible and put you to bed. It seemed as if you were sleeping so I didn't bother you. I was about to call medic to come get you if I could not wake you. My mom is a doctor; I called her for advice and she told me if you would not wake I had to get you to the hospital."

"Why didn't you take me to the hospital last night? Wait, how did you warm me, and whose clothes do I have on? Oh God, we didn't ...you didn't..." She's having trouble speaking and I think she's having a panic attack. I jump up and sit by her on the bed.

"Breathe, just breathe in and out, slowly, in and out." Her crystal clear blue eyes pierce into mine; I will her to see that I won't hurt her. I reach for her hand that is resting on top of the blanket.

She immediately looks down to our hands and freezes, but does not pull back. I feel like my soul is bleeding into hers, as if I've connected with a missing part of myself. I'm first to pull away and our eyes meet again. A flash of sadness crosses her faces, as if she didn't want the touch to end.

"Do you remember anything else about last night?" I ask, trying to get her talking again.

"The glitter, I'm sorry about that. My kids made a jar of glitter for me and I'd forgotten it was in the car. I was driving home and couldn't see well but I knew the bad curve was ahead. Someone came down the mountain and I panicked, I slammed on breaks and my Jeep started to spin. I remember the glitter jar breaking." She reaches down and rubs her right thigh.

"You had a cut on your right thigh, nothing that needed stitches; I put a bandage on it for you. I guess it came from the broken glass."

"Do I dare ask where my wet clothes are and how you got to my thigh? I'm afraid to ask, but I think I deserve to know." She's gaining confidence the more she talks.

"When you fell into my door, literally into my arms, you were soaked and almost frozen. I'm a bit of an outdoorsman and since I have had a house here in Aspen, I insisted my family take a class on survival skills. You were never going to warm in your wet clothes." I glance at her to make sure she's still with me. She has her knee's pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She's protecting herself.

"I put you on my bed, ran a warm bath, undressed you; you can see the remnants of glitter on the duvet, let you soak in the bath until you were warm, dried you, dressed you and put you back to bed. Your skin began to warm and I laid down beside you, fully clothed mind you, and watched you sleep."

"So, you saw me without my clothes on?" "Oh my God," she mumbles hoping I won't hear. "Well there's not much to see, so I guess it's all right. You did save my life. I guess I can forgive you for one peek." She laughs nervously.

It's time to hold her hand again.

Taking her trembling hand into mine, I wait for her to look at me.

"I did what I had to do to save your life. There was nothing sexual about it and I tried my best to keep you covered at all times. I'd do it again and I hope and pray if I, or someone in my family were in your shoes last evening, the person I or they go to for help would actually help us."

"I didn't mean to offend you. It's just, I've never been naked in front of a man, or anyone for that matter." She drops her eyes as if she's ashamed of her admission.

"And I hope the first time you are; he'll be someone you love and who loves and worships you; and for the record, you are a beautiful woman. The observation was made when I opened the door last night and has nothing to do with me bathing you."

She smiles and we both release a little nervous laughter.

"You said you were going home last night. I promise I won't stalk you, but where to you live? I assume it's close by if you were driving up the mountain."

"What is your address here?"

"Thirty-two Glen Garry Drive; what's yours?"

"Wow, I'm about a half mile up the mountain on Maroon Creek Road. I'm renting the little cabin on the right that sits just off the road."

"Oh yes, I'm familiar with the property. I never go farther up the mountain than my turn off so I'm afraid I haven't been by there in a while."

She smiles and her stomach roars.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. If you'll tell me where my clothes are I'll be on my way. I can walk home from here."

"I hate to admit to you, I am not familiar with how to work the washer and dryer. Your clothes are in the washer waiting for my housekeeper to return tomorrow. By the way, Merry Christmas."

"On goodness, it is Christmas. Merry Christmas to you, too."

"Wow, I guess your family is wondering where you are; let me get my phone so you can call them."

"Um, actually, there is no one to call. I'm single and my parents live out of state. No siblings, no animals, not even a goldfish."

"I'd like to invite you to spend the day, here, with me. My big crazy family will be here tomorrow, and if you don't have anywhere to be, our motto is the more the merrier. Then you can see for sure I'm harmless. My mother would kill me if she thought I'd hurt someone after she's spent her life healing people."

"I tell you what," I say to her, "If you'll figure out the washer, I'll get us some breakfast, deal?" I want her to stay more than I've wanted anything in a while.

I hold my hand out to shake, selfishly so I can touch her again.

She looks at me and smiles. "I'll make a deal on one condition. My name is Anastasia Steele, everyone calls me Ana. And you are?"

"My name is..."

HER POINT OF VIEW

He gave me a sweat shirt, a clean pair of underwear and sweat pants to put on until I can get my clothes washed and dried.

I can't believe I'm staying in the home of a complete stranger, but he is a neighbor and there is something about him that makes me feel safe.

Even though the washer does not make a sound, I can see it working to wash my wet clothes.

I follow the smell of breakfast and find him with bacon on the griddle, eggs cooking and a bowl of fruit on the breakfast bar.

"Hi," I say to get his attention.

"Hello again. I hope bacon and eggs are fine for you. And toast; could you get the bread out of the cupboard?"

"Sure, I'd like to help?"

"You can do the toast, but please let me impress you with the two things I know how to cook, bacon on the griddle and scrambled eggs." His smile is so bright and hopeful. I can't help but smile back. There is something about him that feels familiar.

"So tell me about yourself; you said your children made the bottle of glitter, but then said you are single and alone; how many children do you have?"

I decide to have some fun with him; he's been so nice to me.

"I have twenty children, twelve girls and eight boys."

His hand stops in mid air as he stirs the eggs. He is speechless but has a smile on his face.

"Come again?"

"I teach twenty four-year-olds every day. The girls in my class made glitter globes and then poured left over glitter into a jar for me. That's what broke in the car last night. Oh no...my car!"

"Don't worry about it; I called the sheriff's office and they are going to look for your car."

"Thank you, for everything."

"I assure you, it's been my unexpected pleasure."

Breakfast goes by easily, his cupboard is stocked with my favorite English Breakfast Tea, so I feel right at home. I don't make friends easily and today, I feel as if I have a new friend. He doesn't have on a wedding band and I wouldn't dare ask if he has a girlfriend. I've already told him I'm a virgin, well not in so many words but I do believe you have to get naked to lose your virginity.

We move to the den after I clear the breakfast dishes, each of us with a fresh warm beverage, his coffee and mine tea.

The morning is spent talking. He tells me a little about his business, a little about his family and how busy he's been the last few months.

I share about my dad who is a police officer and my mom who is, absent from my life.

It seems he adores his family, especially his mom who he's spoken of often.

Just before lunch he gets a call and the sheriff reports my car is at the end of his street, near the ditch, covered in snow that's fallen and snow that's been plowed. The sheriff assured us it's safe saying there are so many emergency calls, he' like to wait until tomorrow to have a tow truck come and pull it out.

"Ana, no one should be alone on Christmas. Stay here in my home, you can do whatever you want. I won't bother you and you can spend the night and meet my crazy family tomorrow."

"Okay." It's out of my mouth before I have time to think. I've learned to treat Christmas like another day I've spent so many of them alone. This is a real treat for me.

"Let me show you around the house."

He gives me the tour and the first thing we notice is it's snowing again. I'm so glad I don't have to go out in this today.

We start downstairs where there's an indoor pool and jacuzzi, a theater room, and a room with a billiard table. The wall is glass and looks out over his back yard, and at the surrounding mountains.

On the main level is the kitchen, dining room, family room and a library. I audibly gasp when he opens the door.

"You're a reader?" He asks.

"I'm an English major, I've spent my life reading."

"Well, you feel free to spend all the time in here you'd like.

He flips a switch and the gas logs in the fireplace glow as fire dances over the logs.

We go back upstairs and he shows me six bedrooms. Each one has an en suite, each with garden tubs, some a little bigger than others but none as grande as his master suite.

"I don't mean to be rude or forward, but where is the misses?"

"My mother is in Seattle, Bellevue to be precise, along with my father and sister."

"You know that's not what I mean."

"There's not a misses, I am single as well. My career has taken all my time the last few years and my commitment is to my company and not to my personal life."

"Shame," I murmur; more loudly than I'd intended.

He looks me directly in the eye and smiles in a way that makes me want to fall in his arms again. I must have hit my head harder than I thought.

We have a light lunch as he brings out a hearty beef stew we'll have for dinner. I excuse myself to his library and get lost in the books.

"Ana...Ana..." Once again I wake and I'm disoriented. There is a beautiful man standing over me, trying to get me to wake. It's my stranger, my new friend. He is the most handsome man I've ever seen. It would be nothing for him to lean down a little farther and wake me with a kiss.

"Yes, sir?"

"Good, you're awake. Listen, my brother called to say he'd be here for dinner. He's left home early and wanted to get here before dark."

"I'll get my things and leave, then."

"Don't be ridiculous, I want you to be awake so I can introduce you. And you've slept about two hours. I want you to be able to sleep tonight."

I sit up and decide to ask a question that's worried me all day.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

"Last night, while I slept, did I seem to sleep soundly?"

"You did, it's why I watched you, I wanted to be sure you were okay."

"I...I didn't seem to be dreaming?"

"Are you asking if you had a nightmare? If so, you didn't; you were very peaceful as you slept."

"Oh, okay...I normally don't sleep very well."

"I completely understand."

I get up and run upstairs and change into my now dry clothes. When I get to the bedroom, I see there are a few extra things on the bed. He must have a woman who stays here with him.

There is a knock at the door; since I haven't undressed I ask him to come in.

He pushes the door open and leans into the bedroom.

"I rummaged through the closet and drawers and found some things you might like." How dare he share a woman's clothes that she left here. I have more self-respect than that.

"My clothes are dry now, I'm fine," I say a little more ungrateful than I intended.

He can tell I'm not happy with his offer.

"Hey," he walks in and closes the door. "The clothes were left by my sister. She'll be here tomorrow, you can ask her. Or I'll take you to her room and show you her things she's left here."

"I'm sorry. My imagination got the best of me."

"Ana, I've never had a woman here. I've never met anyone I wanted to share this part of my life with." He's so close and I've found I don't think well when I can feel him near me.

"Why are you being so kind to me? I could easily get home from here."

"But I have you here now, and I don't want you to go." His words awaken parts of my body that have been dormant far too long.

I'm speechless, of course, caught in his spell.

"I'll let you get changed." And he's gone.

I get changed and actually get my hair to cooperate. I have a great new cut and my dark hair falls over my shoulders and down my back.

He's sitting in the den in front of the fire with a glass of wine. There's an empty glass beside the bottle.

"Wine?" He asks.

"I'd love some, thank you."

He hands me the glass and I take a sip; it's the best I've ever had.

We sit and conversation comes easy.

"I can't believe we've never run in to each other in town, or at the grocery." I say.

He shakes his head.

"At the risk of sounding arrogant, there is a couple who lives here year round. My house and grounds keepers. I like the house to be ready for me to come anytime. My housekeeper does all my grocery shopping. She a great cook but I do normally find myself in town for dinner at least once while I''m here."

We hear car doors closing and voices coming from outside.

"Hold on, a whirlwind is about to enter."

Not sure what I should do, I keep my seat and have another sip of wine.

I can't see the door but I easily hear the voices.

"Hey bro, how you doin'?"

"Great, man; how about you?"

"I'm glad you're here, I have someone I want you to meet."

"There my girl!" I hear murmuring but can't make out the response.

"Hello to you, too!" I hear a woman respond and then a little girl giggles.

"Mommy, he's talking to me, not to you."

I hear multiple footsteps approaching so I stand to meet the family.

For the second time in two days, I sway on my feet and think I might pass out.

He comes around the couch and puts an arm around my waist. My body melts into his side. He asks if I'm okay the same time the little girl starts screaming.

"Miss Steele, what you are doing at my uncle's house?" I look from her to her mother.

"Ana, what's going on?"

I'm at a loss for words; my hero comes through once more.

HIS POINT OF VEIW

"You two know each other?" I say to my brothers wife.

"We do, she's Samantha's teacher."

He picks up my student and blows strawberries on her belly making her laugh and squeal.

"So it's YOU young lady who's responsible for all the glitter!"

"How do you know about my glitter?" She asks.

"Ana, it seems like you know at least part of my family. You obviously know Samantha and my sister-in-law Kate; I'd like to introduce you to my brother Elliott."

"Mr. Grey, it's so nice to meet you. I adore Samantha."

"Miss Steele, I feel like I know you, Kate and Samantha talk about you all the time. So how do you know my brother?"

Christian speaks up saying he'll explain everything.

He spends the next few minutes telling Elliott, Kate and Samantha about my accident, how I staggered to his door, wet, bruised and covered in glitter. He tells them we are neighbors and that he's asked me to stay through Christmas to meet his family. We all laugh about the glitter, Elliott goes on and on laughing.

"Are you Uncle Christian's girlfriend, Miss Steele?" Samantha's asks; 'Out of the mouth of babes' they say.

"We are just friends right now." Christian tells her with a smile.

He looks over to me and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze.

To this day he hasn't let go of me.

I did stay through Christmas, Christmas Day and our entire school vacation up to New Year's Day. Christian and I would steal glances and accidentally on purpose sit by each other as much as we could. His family caught on quickly and they helped us.

We have long talks in front of the fire, and by New Year's, it feels like we've know each other forever. Sadly, Christian is leaving to go back to Seattle on the day after New Years and the following day, Samantha and I return to school.

The week I spent with the Grey's was the best week of my life. I felt like part of a family. Toward the end of the week, as I was reading in the library, Grace, Christian's mom came in and sat with me. We had spoken casually all week but I felt I owed her an explanation of my lack of family.

I broke down telling her about my mom and she held me and let me cry. No one has ever done that for me before. My mom never acted concerned with me and then when I went to stay with my dad in ninth grade, I found he was very selfish with his hugs. I know he felt as if he touched me I'd think of husband number three. I wouldn't have, because I know Ray Steele loves me, like a daddy should love their daughter. Like Elliott loves Samantha.

On New Year's Eve we have a ton of fireworks; the men set them up on the driveway in front of the house. A professional would not have done a better job than the Grey men, our show is spectacular.

It begins to snow with a little freezing rain so we head in for the midnight celebration. We have hats and horns and glasses of champagne for our toast.

I find myself beside Christian as the countdown draws near. The closer we get to midnight, the closer he gets to me. And the countdown begins...Ten-he moves close enough for us to touch; nine-he reaches for my hand; eight-he takes my hand and gives it a squeeze; seven-he lets go of my hand and places his on the small of my back; six-he moves his hand to my side and pulls me to him; five-he gazes down into my eyes, four-he turns to stand in front of me, three-he leans down, asking permission with his expression, two-I look up at him, placing my hand on his neck to pull him toward me; one-'HAPPY NEW YEAR', everyone screams!

"Happy New Year, Anastasia; I hope this is the first day of the rest of our lives together." And then he finally kisses me. Soft and gentle at first, then his tongue runs along my lips asking permission to enter. My mouth opens on it's own, granting him access to my mouth, my heart and my soul, forever.

The year has gone by so quickly, and here we are at Christmas Eve again; one year since my accident in the snow at the end of Christian's street. He's tried multiple times to describe how I looked when I fell into his arms that night. I was soaking wet, the left side of my face was bruised and I was covered in glitter. If only he'd taken a picture.

We figured out I must have passed out in the car for several hours; or I may have been in shock. When I got out, I remembered thinking I had to find help. Fate took me down the street to Christian's driveway instead of up the mountain to my cabin. My car had run out of gas. The police officer felt the car must have kept running, keeping me warm; once the car was off and I felt cold I woke and tried to find help. There was a good two to three feet of snow on the ground and the drifts were much higher. If I'd have passed out before I reached Christian's door that night; I'd have surely died.

Christian's family left on New Year's Day and I stayed with him until he left the day after. The chemistry and connection we felt with each other was unmistakable, everyone could see it.

He begged me to come to Seattle with him and I refused, telling him my life for the foreseeable future is in Aspen, teaching my four year olds. We spent every weekend together, he flew to Aspen or had his jet waiting on me as soon as I get out of school on Friday to take me to Seattle. Several times, Kate and Samantha come with me to Seattle and a few weekends, it's just Samantha with me. Her grandparents would be waiting to pick her up at the airport. Kate and I became great friends and Elliott, he's a character!

I discovered the first time I go to Seattle, the second week in January, I am dating a billionaire. Shocked does not describe my feelings when I find out. Elliott also earned his first billion last year. I came from nothing. I mean, I've never gone without more than one meal and I've always had a roof over my head. My needs were met, but until I spent time with the Grey's, I didn't realize how much I missed out on coming from a broken home and being an only child.

Christian told me his income after I freaked out when I got home after my first visit to Seattle and had a brand new loaded Range Rover in my driveway, I decided it was his money; he could do with it as he pleased.

We made a date for Valentine's Day to spend the weekend in Aspen. I did't have any experience with men and I knew I would not fall into bed with the first man I felt comfortable dating. This weekend, we've decided to take our relationship to the next level. There is no doubt in my mind I'm in love with Christian and I can't imagine being with anyone else. He has been very patient with me and as we've each discussed our past, we have decided to take things slow. I'm ready and I know he will be gentle with me.

When he arrived on Friday afternoon, it was still a few hours before dinnertime. His kiss when he arrived escalated quickly and we made love for the first time. I have never felt so loved and cared for. By the end of the weekend, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life with Christian Grey.

The next weekend, he returned to Aspen. Something was on his mind and he tried to make me think everything was fine. We stayed at my cabin that night. I cooked dinner and we made love in my bed, in front of the fire, planning to go to his house on Saturday morning.

On Saturday, we get up and dress, have breakfast and head to his house. As we approached his front door, he stops me.

"Wait Ana, we can't go in."

"What's going on Christian, I know something is on your mind."

"I need to talk to you about something."

"You are scaring me, Christian, what is it?"

"It was right here in this very spot," he said as we stand at the front door on the porch. "This is where you first fell into my arms. You fell into my life, my heart and my soul. I never believed I'd find someone like you. I love you with everything I am and everything I have. I'll never love another woman as long as I live. We've known each other just short of two months, but I feel as if I've known you all your life. Would you do me the incredible honor," he drops to one knee. "Will you marry me, spend the rest of your life with me; will you be my wife?"

I am in shock, he wants me? He wants me forever? I never dreamed this would happen to me.

"Ana?"

"Yes, yes I'll spend my life with you, I'll be your wife!"

He slides a perfectly round six carrot diamond on my left ring finger. I'll not only have to insure the ring, but insure my finger!

He stands and we kiss, it's almost inappropriate for the front porch.

A million thoughts are running through my mind as he opens the front door? My dad will be so disappointed if Christian didn't talk to him. Where will we get married; WHEN will we get married? Where will we live?

Christian has my hand and is leading me in the door when I look up and see a huge crowd of people yelling, 'surprise'.

I don't know who to speak to first.

"Happy engagement baby." He whispers behind my ear.

"You did all this?"

"I sure did." I am so impressed.

The first person to get to me is my daddy. "Oh Daddy, did Christian talk to you?"

"He did Annie. I made him convince me he is worthy of you. I gave him my blessing to marry you. I love you Annie and I'm so proud of you."

"I love you, too, Daddy."

Christian's entire family is here as well as the usual security and staff.

Mrs. Bentley, who I met the week after Christmas has a lovely brunch prepared and we celebrate with our family through the weekend.

At the end of the school year, I resigned my job as teacher and move to Seattle. Christian insists I move in with him and considering we are getting married a few weeks later, I agree.

We have a beautiful wedding the second week of June and spend the next month touring Europe. Ros, Christian's right hand at work, kept the company running and when we returned, she took the month of August off.

I decide on our honeymoon, I'd take the year off from teaching and spend the year learning how to be a wife and Mrs. Christian Grey.

Neither Christian or I could have dreamed what the future would hold.

HIS POINT OF VIEW

"Penny for your thoughts?" My husband sits beside me on the couch handing me a fresh cup of tea. "You've been so deep in thought," he observes.

"It was a year ago today."

"Best day of my life." He says.

"Mine, too."

"I have a little surprise for you." He hands me the signature blue velvet box from Cartier.

"I thought we are waiting till morning to open presents?"

"This one is not a Christmas present."

I glare at him, there is hardly a week goes by he does not bring me home flowers, candy, or some type of little gift. The lid of the box clicks open and I gasp.

"Christian!" My voice cracks as tears of joy spring from my eyes.

"Let me help you." He takes the silver chain from me and places it around my neck. Hanging from the chain now resting on my chest is a miniature globe full of blue glitter.

"Happy Anniversary, baby." He says and gently kisses me. "You've made me the happiest man on earth. I never thought I'd have the life we have together." He gently rubs my belly where a bump is starting to show.

"Everyone will know when they see the glitter," I tell him.

We found out on Ana's birthday in September we are pregnant. This week we found out it's a boy and I could not be happier.

"We're telling them, if they guess before they open their gifts it will be fine." Each member of our family is getting a sonogram picture of our little boy.

"That's true. I love the necklace Christian. And I love you."

"I love you too, my glitter girl."

 **~~~The End~~~**


	14. Entry 13: missmusicteach

.  
 **ENTRY NUMBER THIRTEEN**

* * *

 **~SHE GLITTERS. I SPARKLE.~**

 _"She showed up at his door soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter."_

 _Christian an artist, teaching a night sketch class. He is in his 30s, a smoker and only has one stable woman in his life, Ava.  
This is a story how Christian was blown away by a Glitter Princess. AU, OOC, HEA. Competition One Shot._

Thank-you to my second pair of eyes! Much appreciated!

* * *

 _ **November**_

Summer was a distant memory and had long come to a close. All the deciduous trees were sparsely painted with hues of fall as the crisp winds of winter were well on their way.

In my case it was the opposite. It was warming up.

I pushed the door, and it slammed with a bang. My kaleidoscope of dishes shook violently. My collection of Disney Princess shot glasses didn't favor well, as both Cinderella and Ariel lay shattered over my scuffed pine floor.

" _Fuck!_ " Ava isn't going to be happy with me.

" _Oh my god!_ " Anastasia screamed holding her chest.

After our third Malibu and mango, we were both all over one another.

"Why are you worried? It's not your apartment," shaking my head.

"That's right… No no no, apartment," she sang to her audience of one, " _I know_ ," rolling her eyes, "I always need to rely on _the dominant men_ in my life," giggling under her tropical breath.

Her body tensed realizing what she mentioned. _The dominant men_. Myself and …her not so secret _José_. I can only see RED.

"Is _she_ here?" Ana whispered.

Out of frustration, I groaned.

" _Really_ Ana? She's almost five do you think a five-year-old would be all alone in an apartment."

" _Oh_ … yeah," her lips crashed onto mine. It was heaven.

My rough fingers still covered in charcoal and graphite from class scraped along the cork board behind the door. I leaned into the goddess in front of me. The display of memories was a perfect background to her flawless features. Photos, ticket stubs, my favorite and latest sketches, ribbons, and a personalized portrait by little Ava.

The pad of my index finger felt Ava's artwork as the glitter was unavoidable. My best feature according to her.

 _Silver glittery eyes._

" _See your glitter eyes," Ava's voice was soft and sweet. Instantly I became a marionette nodding my head up and down. "Sparklies. Your eyes sparkle now," Ava continued to play me like a harp._

" _Oh honey, I know because I've met someone very special."_

 _How can I not smile, this little girl makes me loose all my tough masculinity in three seconds flat. As our eyes met Ava smiled, and I ruffled her blonde locks._

" _Ava you have always made my eyes glitter, especially when you were born. But—" she was bursting with excitement._

 _Ava couldn't help herself and needed to ask._

" _It's a lady… is she a Princess?" she makes me chuckle._

 _She's beyond adorable, thinking of her Prince Charming and the beautiful Princesses._

" _She is to me. Ana… her name is Anastasia."_

 _Ava was glowing and of course squealing uncontrollably. She knew the scoop about her favorite grown up in the world other than her mother. In all purposes Ava has known Ana all her life but from this day forward she was known as the Princess who won my heart._

My eyes flicked to her cerulean blue. She blinked as a heavy breath forced her lips to open.

 _Oh, I know what this means._

 _Yes. Fucking. Please._

"Come here _my_ glittery Princess," pushing her chest to mine. Her cheeks were rosy, and warmth scatter through her clothes.

I was horny, and there was no way to disguise it. My erection was standing proud and tall. No amount of t-shirt or camo pants were going to hide him any longer.

"Well, dear sparkle Prince," her hand roamed along the front of my t-shirt and down to my crotch.

 _Yeah, baby touch it. He needs some attention._

As needy as a teenager with an underwear catalogue in one hand and dick in the other, I quickly removed what wasn't necessary. Boots, coat, and finally I shoved my hand into my pocket and grab my anti-anxiety and depression relief. My menthol cigarettes.

My instinct was to throw them far away from Anastasia. Conveniently they landed in a standing position on the table.

" _Fuck yeah, still got it!_ " I thought to myself giving a subconscious fist pump.

"This glittery Princess wants to be copulated…" she whispered with great force "that means… take me to your bed Prince. _Please_ … _Fuck. Me._ " Ana's cheeks were rosy and the slight gap between her front teeth was showing.

 _How can I hide my love for her? She's amazing I hope she'll only be mine from tonight onward._

The Wednesday ritual began.

Mint popped. Bare feet on the floor. Glitter falling from overdone hair and makeup. Something was different this week. My hands roamed down her sides. Her pockets held a handful of small, firm rods. Definitely not cigarettes.

 _I could surely use a smoke now._

 _ **No!**_ _Perseverance Christian. You can do this._

"What are these?"

"Don't ruin the surprise, Prince." She waved her fingers across my face.

Of course, I noticed the mark on her fourth finger again and the bruises around her wrists. As the weeks go by, it's getting more obvious. My hand traced her injuries. As always she brushed it off, blaming it on clumsiness.

Denying our mutual needs was no longer an option. I scooped her up and carted her to bed.

" _Oh my_ … I can't believe it's a school night!" she giggled.

 _Her laughter it goes straight to my cock._

"A _school night_? Are you 15?"

"Oh no, _far from_ my sparkly Prince." I sneaked a wink and she wiggled with excitement.

"It's _Wednesday_ … you know… _Wednesday_?"

" _Yeah…?_ " I kissed her and allowed her tongue entry, "what's so good—" I kissed her nose, "about _Wednesday_?"

" _HUMP DAY!_ " she blew a kiss to my neck which sent shivers down my spine.

 _Oh God, I love her._

"Sorry but not sorry. You have glitter all over your ass. Don't move. It's _fucking_ hot." I was firm with my delivery, and my cock hung between my legs.

"Ava?"

"Ah huh. She doesn't know it but her arty mess has made my libido jump tenfold."

"It's pink, just like your _cock._ " I coughed, as I choked on my saliva.

 _There's my second head thinking again._

It's hard enough visualising the fun time I had with my niece creating pink portraits of Barbie dolls while the sexiest woman alive is naked with hot pink glitter wedged up her ass. _Fucking hot._

"Silver would be better," she wiggled her derrière, teasing my poor dick.

It was my fault she had glitter wedged there. Ava's portraits have become a favorites of mine, and she had sprinkled glitter everywhere. I'm the boisterous creative uncle, while her parents are snarky disciplinarians.

I stroked Anastasia's face, as if she were being sketched. My fingers outlined her face, and I prepared the shading and highlights as I rubbed her skin. The bruises were getting more visible. She was packing on the concealer and foundation, but I didn't want to call attention to it, and make her uncomfortable. Her bruised wrists were visible but other injuries were well covered.

"Prince…"

" _Hmmm_ " I was lost in her perfect form I want to ask about the bruises, but my dick is taking over.

 _I can remember the first time I met my Princess. She was nothing like what I was expecting._

" _Ok ladies it's human form time!" I clap my hands together. "Over the last few sessions we have practiced still life. Now is the time to step it up. Shadows are the key. Looking from all directions rather just from the direct light source."_

 _I was proud of the sample works I brought for the class. Hearing the ooh's and ahh's really boosted my ego. Honestly, I wish they were from a studio or a print house so I could make a bit more cash than a night class._

" _Hey, Christian. So where is this_ _ **body**_ _… oh god please say you're doing the deed for us." Within seconds women of all ages began to pant, steaming up the studio. Even though I'm totally flattered at being pursued by a senior named Violet, it really kills the mood._

" _Sorry to disappoint, our model shouldn't be too far away," I looked at my phone, again._

 **Mr G running l8. Traffic is atrocious. Give me 5 and trust me u wont be disappointed. A**

 _I stare at the message, she sent more than 25 minutes ago. I hope she isn't far away. I really don't want to get naked in front of a class of 14 women. Especially Violet. I am certain Granny is going to jump my bones._

 _Fuck._

" _Ladies lets set up around the middle table where_ _ **she**_ _will be placed. Ensure you have enough equipment. Paper, pencils, charcoal, oil pastels if you wish. While we wait, start study sketches of the white cloth. Remember… shadows. You will need to use all shades of gray, not just black and white. No outlining. Shades ladies. All shades of gray."_

" _Like your name Christian?" Violet winked as the shiver slithered down my spine. Older women scare me._

 _Where the fuck is she? I know I shouldn't trust my brother. He made it clear Anastasia was reliable and needed the work. She has experience in modeling in front of the camera, not an easel._

 _I know she's best friends with Kate, but come on! I've tried my best. Staying clear of her friends was the goal but now Elliot has other ideas. Five years I've been able to avoid her circle. Of course, Elliot likes to stir the pot._

 _Tap Tap Tap… "Sorry I'm late Mr. Gre—" She crinkled her face unsure what to call me. "I'm here!" Anastasia exploded with energy to her audience._

 _Shock was the only word for what I felt._

 _She had a long black trench coat tied tightly around her small waist. As my eyes traveled up her body my attention was focused on her god awful gold glitter eyeshadow._

" _I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Anastasia held her hands up in surrender, "I just came from a photo shoot so I apologize for my hair and makeup._ I know, _the glitter." She flicked her hands through her hair and glitter fell to the floor._

 _With no instruction, she dropped her coat. She was wearing a flesh colored corset and delectable panties with a little bow at the back._

 _I haven't been with a woman in almost two years and the celibacy is killing me. Let's say my right arm is a lot stronger than the left._

" _Anastasia, you do realize it's a nude class," I flushed through all shades of pinks and reds._

 _She's gorgeous._

 _I need to think straight. I need to think straight… don't think with the wrong head Christian._

 _God damn, why haven't I met her sooner? Fuck, of course, the large brick wall barrier of Kate Kavanagh._

 _Shit, I've got a semi. I can't stay away now._

" _Oh, I'm completely aware Mr. Grey—" she purred as if she was directing my cock._

" _Christian" I replied smiling like a loon._

" _Ok… Christian. This was what I had at the shoot I'll give it back to the photographer. I know him well. Can you help me?"_

 _Oh, God, I think I may come in my pants if I have to unlace that corset._

" _Yeah… sure," my voice broke several octaves. I gave her a toothy smile._

 _The sweat trailed down my back. My semi grew and without warning my cock waved to the woman in front of me. Thank God, I'm wearing a long t-shirt tonight. My horny students average age fifty-three, don't need to get any more excited._

 _My palms rested on her bare shoulders, and my fingers slowly made their way down her spine. I pulled the tight ribbon loosening the tension. The flesh-colored corset fell from her body._

 _Perfection._

 _Moments like this I wish I was drawing. Not instructing._

 _Fuck it. I'm going to draw her too._

 _Anastasia made her way to the table draped in white cloth, and slowly slipped off her lace panties. She tucked her arm under her resting head, and aligned her body with the flow of the textile._

 _Please, God, give me the strength to not come in my pants and the ability to string a sentence together to ask her out._

"I think I lost you for a minute. _Where were you_?"

"Right in front of you," I smiled and kissed her as if it were our last.

Her eyes roamed lower.

"Oh babe, most definitely in front," she licked her lips.

 _I'm in heaven. Thank you, God!_

Hours passed and the clock ticked three.

"Was that your phone _again_?" Turning to see her phone light up the dark room.

" _Yeah, yeah_. It can wait."

I shook it off and thought it was time. Time to ask her.

"This is going to come as a shock," I chuckled, and caressed her neck.

 _Yep. I'm nervous._

"Yeah, _Prince?_ "

"Will you be _my_ girlfriend?"

Never in my life have I expressed how I've felt to anyone, not even my parents. The time was right.

Anastasia went stiff. The worry flew through my veins and I didn't know how to react.

" _Christian_ …" I could hear the worry in her voice. She never uses my name.

" _What?_ We have been together for a good three months, literally together every day. Half the week you are here. In _my_ bed."

She shook her head and began grabbing her things which are strewn around my bedroom.

"I can't… _you. Ahhh._ Why do you need to be so perfect?"

" _Perfect?_ What does that mean? But you're running?"

"Don't even start. I'm far from running. I knew the first time I met you, _this_ …" she waved her hands back and forth between us "was going to ruin things. Now you're complicating things even more. My life is arduous, ok?" She was stern.

Fun loving Anastasia was gone.

"What the fuck are you talking about? You've met my family. My fucking parents. Kate mentioned things but I didn't believe her. I never believe anything that comes out of her mouth."

"Kate. _Fucking_ Kate!"

"Don't remind me about fucking Kate."

"We're best friends _Christian Trevelyan-Grey_ and you are Ava's uncle, get over it."

"This has never been an issue. _What the fuck is wrong?_ " I could feel my eyes welling, shit it's hitting me right in the chest.

"I just… can't. I'm not running… I'm leaving."

" _For good_?"

She was silent refusing to make eye contact. The loud huff wasn't making the situation any more positive.

"Why are you doing this? The _bruises._ " She gasped as if she was surprised I've even noticed them before "Is it because…"

"Because of _José_. I'm sure Kate told you." She couldn't help but mouth _bitch_ under her breath.

 _Damn right she fucking told me! She told me everything, I didn't believe her at first but it was obvious. He was abusing her and she didn't know how to leave._

" _Fucker_ …"

"Christian… _José is_ my boyfriend and…"

I couldn't help but grab her phone which was on the charger vibrating for the hundredth time tonight.

 **Bae, I miss u?**

 **I'm sorry I didn't mean 2.**

 **Where r u?**

"What am I? Just a _fuck_ to you?" I yelled across the room. I slammed my hands on the bed and glitter went flying, then falling like pink snow.

Anastasia was silent and refused to speak. She stood, still naked, holding her things.

 _His_ messages continued.

 **I love u Ana.**

 **I'm sorry.**

 **I can't wait. It was a yes!**

It made my blood boil seeing those words from another man.

"Don't you love me? I know I—"She cut me off raising her hand to stop.

"Don't even say it, _Prince_ ," I hoped she would have used my name.

The anger was building and I threw her phone at the door.

"This is nothing… just… _fun!_ " She screamed back. But I could see in her eyes, it was more than fun.

"Are you even clean? We have been bareback _every fucking time_. Fucking hell! Anastasia _this_ ," waving my hands back and forth between us, "means something to me! A lot more than your standards."

Her tears slowly dripped down her cheeks.

"What was _yes_? He's asked you something… _What_?"

I knew already Kate had told me over a month ago, but deep down I tried to deny it. It couldn't be real. This has felt like a relationship for months, just always in the shadows.

 _Why the fuck am I even speaking! I'm digging a very deep grave._

"Anastasia… what are these text messages? He loves you? But you can't even express… a simple word to me?"

" _I can't_ … Because it will make this hurt even more." She was beyond crying now and I knew it was too late for me.

I jumped out of bed, naked covered in pink glitter.

" _My_ glitter Princess…" holding out my hand, I hoped to receive some form of touch.

She studied me for a final time.

"Please be a star, distant and dying … and stay the fuck away from me!"

 _I'm an asshole._

 _A FUCKING asshole. She's being abused by her "boyfriend", finding solace with me and … shit. I'm a fucking asshole._

She left the room without turning back. I knew she was in my kitchen. I could hear the shuffle of her feet as she dressed.

A minute passed and the front door slammed shut.

 _Yes, sad Christian was back, better than ever. Naked and covered in glitter._

I was stuck, stuck like a deer looking at oncoming headlights. I should probably run after her. But I realize these last few months possibly mean nothing. I've been played like a guitar and all the strings have snapped simultaneously.

Awaking from my daze, I grabbed my pants and t-shirt and ran out of the room.

There on the bench were my cigarettes, lying face down. I needed about three at once. To my surprise Anastasia had replaced them all with bright glittery colored crayons. Blues, pinks, greens. It was beautiful.

Oh, I love her, but I'm sure she's in love with another man. Being abused by that man.

Fucking _José Rodriguez._ Seattle's finest fashion photographer. _Fucking_ woman abuser.

Behind my newly found crayons was a small note.

" _u dick. I'm goin 2 miss u my Prince._ "

Yep, I've fucked things up.

Something about glitter. It always sticks and you can never get rid of it.

 _ **Weeks Later**_

Every god damn year. It's a vicious cycle that I can't seem to avoid.

 _Being single._

It begins with humiliation and ends with mockery. This is all courtesy of my older brother Elliot.

I'm the constant disappointment in the family. No stable job, broke, no woman in my arms the list never ends. It's one of the most uncomfortable feelings and as always I hold it _all_ in.

You would assume my friends would lift me up during this festive time. If there were any friends. I truly have none. Of course, I have acquaintances and work colleagues, but absolutely no one I can rely on. Definitely no late night movie marathons or online gaming.

Closing my eyes and taking a shaky gradual breath. I inhale the overwhelming scent of pine needles, a deep dark forest, and golden sap. Hearing the combined crack and spit of the roaring fire on the far side of the room is a relief since it's below freezing outside.

The small buzz from the lights above my crown brings a hum to my ears. I can only hope all these soothing sounds will drown out the rumble and whine of Elliot, Kate and my mother Grace.

I've been lying on the black walnut floors meditating for what feels like hours, concentrating on the glow and crackle of the fire. As I turn to look at my phone, I rub my thumb over the home key.

 _Fuck._

It's only been 14 minutes. Oh god, even this Christmas dinner is creeping to a crawl. I thought it was just my personal life.

My mind numb my hand reaches for my last cigarette. Popping open the pack my lips immediately embraced the fine pulped unlit paper. I anticipated relief and comfort as I pulled in the pungency of the tobacco. I swear one day I'm going to inhale that final filter. It was the relief and comfort I needed and desired. The aroma was divine, and my eyes rolled to the back of my head in pleasure.

" _Christian. Christian? Darling where are you?"_ The holler of my mother from the other end of Elliot's home gave me chills. I just can't deal with it today. Honestly, _any_ day.

The inevitable is going to happen. The conversation. Always the conversations. The one ended conversations.

" _Why don't you have a date?"_

" _Christian are you joining the clergy, because you sure have celibacy down pat."_

" _You're going to be 33 soon, don't you think it's time to get a real job and settle down like your brother."_

Previous year's statements tumble through my head.

Turning my head my rough curls fell into my eyes. I was well past a trim but I didn't have patience to get a cut.

With the Christmas lights flashing in my peripheral vision, I can see baby Jesus in his manger, Mother Mary, and in the background, Joseph, his adoptive father.

" _Come on baby Jesus…fucking help me here! Use that divine intervention!_ "

The tension had returned, spreading like a rash.

 _How do I tell my family? I'm deeply in love with a girl. She's interested, but totally denying it. And she is promised to another man, who is most definitely beating her regularly. I really thought we would be together over Christmas._

 _Oh Christian, you sad, pathetic fucker._

The nails of my right hand scratched at my belly flesh, turning it a bright pink, and almost breaking the skin. The NicoDerm patches weren't working, and even an unlit smoke in my mouth wasn't doing a thing.

Withdrawal, the consistent urge to puff, makes my skin crawl. The constant tick, the nervous twitch is back.

I have hope that I can ignite the superhero powers I don't possess. May if I rub my fingers together a little harder it will ignite the dart between my lips.

 _Oh God my fingers_ … I need to fucking stop. Why can't I give up a simple thing?

I instantly spat out the unlit cigarette. I cup my palms to my face, hoping for the lingering scent of her on my fingers.

The ship had sailed.

It had been weeks but a small sparkle of glitter had stuck around. My imagination went wild thinking of her gorgeous body. Her flesh smelled a thousand times better than my last cigarette, which was now crumpled on the floor.

 _Shit, my smoke._

I stumbled to grab it. The Christmas tree jingled as I rushed to grab the cigarette. Luckily it didn't tumble or I would have been on Kate's shit list for the rest of my days. I straightened the thin stick as much as possible, and carefully placed it back in the packet, to be partnered with the single glitter pink crayon. Once in its protective cover, I shoved it with great force into my pocket.

It was a security blanket, and I wasn't willing to give it up.

The need to puff poison into my lungs had been a priority for so long. I can't believe I'm doing this… giving them up. I thought I've given up enough this year, but I've added smoking to the list. Number one would be Anastasia. My Princess.

You would think she could give up…that _fucker_ , but no. She made it clear and I haven't heard from her for over a month.

 _I need Ana._

I stared at the sparkling lights. They mixed and blurred as they flashed in groups of four. The repetitious flash became monotonous.

 _I just need another two minutes. Only two. Please, God, listen._

Broken from the hypnotic daze of Christmas lights, I felt a small tug on my big toe, and then along my other three digits to my crooked little toe.

I didn't stop to think that the lower half of my 6'1" body would be showing under the large Christmas tree. Maybe I had one too many drinks to think straight or maybe I should just give up on life.

 _I fucking miss her._

I've been with women before, in relationships and a handful of one night stands. The other women can't compare to Anastasia. I was only with her for a few short months, but it was long enough for me to know that she's the one.

 _She was_ … no, she _is_ still my one. Apparently, she was someone else's _one_. My breath caught in the back of my throat. Thinking of her _still_ hurts.

I sigh at the thought of seeing her one more time. I would apologize for every stupid thing I ever said to her. Clearly, I want to know why she did it. Why was she not stronger? Couldn't she give up something for me? Or for her own safety?

I honestly thought she had similar… mutual feelings. _Love?_

Two hands touched my lower extremities. A delicate little finger began to outline the tattoos on my feet.

"I can see you." A small familiar voice plucked me from my light show and mopey reflection of my so-called life.

"Well, little miss I can't see you. Doesn't that mean you're not here?" I'm such a Grinch!

My hand slid into my pocket and pulled out my security blanket. Ironically I placed the glitter crayon in my mouth for a different comfort. Flicking open the packet repetitively the smell of the tobacco and menthol began to soothe my soul.

"But, but, but… I can see your foot?" I wiggled them both, "No I can see your _feets_!"

She crawled along my legs and onto my chest. Her curls tickled my face and made me think how much I have truly changed over the last few weeks.

"And what do you think you are doing little miss?"

"Trying to find you? All the growned ups were talking and I didn't have anyone to talk to? But… I found you, Un-kie?"

I've missed her cuddles. I've been too depressed to even allow her at my place. At least I have the attention of my little Ava.

She was beautiful and I'm sure she will break millions of hearts. At the age of four and two thirds her hair is long, blonde and wavy. She has gray eyes with a slight hint of blue like her mother.

"Do you want to play dress ups?"

" _No._ "

"Play with me." I tickle her.

" _No_ , silly billy."

" _Un-kie._ " She giggles.

"A _h huh._ "

"Can I color your pictures?" She whispers while pointing to my feet.

"I thought you would never ask. Come on." Her smile reached ear to ear.

"Glitter?" She started to jump.

"Of course, baby girl."

As we were making our move to her room _we_ … _no, I was ambushed_. I rubbed my toes into the luscious rug. Ava took my hand, and showed me all the wonderful colors and drawing books she received for Christmas.

"Why are _you smoking_ …" Kate tapped her foot, "in front of _my_ daughter!"

"Just kill it, Kate. It's just in my mouth," I shrugged my shoulders, "and if you look carefully, it's an unlit crayon!" I puffed hard on that glitter stick in a deliberate attempt to annoy her.

Her lips were taut reminiscent of her stuck up snobbery.

"Relax, we are just going to color. Take it easy and let's be civil."

" _Civil!_ You haven't wanted Ava to visit in weeks!"

"Hey, baby girl I'll be in your room in a sec."

Ava was oblivious to the fight which was about to occur. She skipped up the staircase and her bedroom door swung shut.

"Kate, don't start shit when Ava is in between us… _Literally_!"

"Whatever," Kate rolled her eyes.

"Take it easy, look at you."

"Shut up."

Kate was the size of a house, much bigger compared to her first pregnancy. But she gets like this when someone is coming around. Everything needs to be _perfect._

 _Fuck._

"She's coming isn't she?" I gulped as I hooked the crayon behind my ear.

"I haven't said a word." She shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the room.

"Un-kie" Ava giggled as I opened the door to her fairy room.

"You ready? Got your colors? Glitter?"

"Yep." She smiled, holding glitter pens in her hands.

It is our thing. Coloring and drawing. I knew when I first thought about getting a tattoo I would only need the outline since I would have my very own personal artist.

" _Unk-kie_?" She whispered concentrating, as she colored between the lines on my feet.

"Yeah, baby girl."

"Do you still love… your _Princess_?"

" _Ava_ ," I warned her.

I made it very clear how Anastasia and I were no longer together if there was ever a time we were a together. Of course this four-year-old has other ideas.

"She _loves_ you," I couldn't believe this little girl was discussing my personal life.

"Baby girl. Anastasia and I aren't together. I've told you. You know, _right_?"

"But, but, she told me." I shake my head. She must be confused. "All done, look at all the glittery colors," she was so proud of her work.

"Thank you, baby girl. Love you," I plant a kiss on her blonde curls.

Hours passed, while being entertained by Ava in her bedroom. Barbies, fairies, Sesame Street songs, butterfly shadow puppets, glitter, and Anastasia.

" _Christian, there is someone at the door for you,"_ Kate screeched up the staircase.

"Who would be here to see me?" I shrugged my shoulders to Ava.

"Maybe it's—"

" _Ava. No._ "

"Glitter?" Holding my pink glitter crayon, she wiggled her eyebrows.

 _Oh God she's going to get in so much trouble when she's older._

Almost stumbling down the stairs, and missing every second and third step, it was a quick trip. Kate gave me a look. It was a look of sincerity.

"Be kind to her okay? She's had a real shitty time," she whispered while rubbing her swollen belly.

" _Ok_?" I shrugged my shoulders.

 _Could it really be her? I mean, I haven't seen her in weeks._

Opening the heavy door. Rain was falling. Actually it was more like a monsoon.

Her back was to me. She wore a heavy coat, and her brunette hair stuck to it.

" _Anastasia?_ "

She was soaked through. There's a yellow bruise on her collarbone and she's covered in glitter. Lots of glitter.

 _Silver and pink._

" _I_ left _him_ Christian," She stuttered and her teeth chattered.

 _I couldn't speak, it was surreal._

Then he twitched.

 _Fuck._

 _Can I please just think using the head on my shoulders?_

"You're _wet_."

I could hardly string two simple words together, and I chose those two. With a delayed reaction, I realized the sexual innuendo. My palm went to my skull hitting it with force. Multiple times.

"Brilliant observation, Christian."

"You called me _a dick_."

"That's in the past…"

 _I fist pumped the raindrops. Thank you, Lord!_

"I was blinded by—"

"Camera flashes. Possibly by a particular _photographer_?"

"Christian, just shut up and listen. Let me finish…" Anastasia took a deep breath as she held my shoulders. Her touch was icy.

"I needed to do things… for myself. I was _afraid…"_ She paused collecting her thoughts.

 _Shit. Maybe this is good bye?_

"…to change. I thought if lost my comfort, my stability… Christian, I thought it was a good thing with José. Never thought in a million years that I could free myself. In the end, I hope to gain something much better." She fixed her eyes on mine.

" _Me too…_ well, I gave up something for the better."

Even though we were both outside in the cold miserable weather, my happiness was returning. It was a warmth from within, and not from my cock.

 _My Princess was returning._

"I hope _not_ me?"

"What, no! Never… Jeez, I've given up smoking." Anastasia stared at me in shock.

"Really…" I nodded, " _Finally!_ No more mints."

I moved her wet hair out of her eyes. I realized the glitter was sticking to my hands.

"Is it true? You gave _him_ up. Freed yourself?"

She nodded. Her tears mixed with the heavy raindrops.

" _Glitter Princess._ "

"Yes. I'm _your_ glitter Princess. Ask me Christian… ask me again."

" _What? Huh?_ "

"Christian, you can be hopeless sometimes."

"I think I'm admiring the glittery rainbow in front of me. You're wet, with fading bruises and covered in glitter," I smirked. "This is fucking awesome!"

 _I think my lower limb was doing all the talking again._

" _Christian_ ," her teeth chattered. "I'm really cold, can you hurry before I catch pneumonia. _Well_ … ask me…"

"Oh right… sorry," I chuckled rubbing my crown. "Do you love me? Because I fucking love you."

" _Yes_ … of course I do! I love you Christian Trevelyan-Grey."

Pulling her into my arms I swung her around in the rain. I never want to let her go.

"I want you to stick to me forever. _Glitter Princess_."

"Forever… my _sparkly Prince_ ".

 **THE END**

 **AN:** Thank-you for reading my little story. A Pinterest board will be coming soon.


	15. Entry Number 14: nikkistew2

. **  
ENTRY NUMBER FOURTEEN**

* * *

 _ **~Shades of Desolation~**_

 _Summary: What would happen if the breakup lasted several months instead of days? (from Christian's point of view)_

* * *

She showed up at my door on New Year's Eve, soaking wet, bruised, covered in glitter and missing a shoe. Her other pump was scraped and missing a heel. Her short, rain-soaked sequin dress clung to her curves as she shivered in shock and distress. Yet, despite her bedraggled appearance and extreme weight-loss, she was still the most beautiful and welcome sight I had ever seen.

These past months have been hard. I'd been forced to eat every ridiculous word I had spouted off to Ana at the beginning of our short-lived relationship. I remember telling Anastasia that once she walked, we were through. I was a fool. I would never be done with her. Every room is haunted by her. Perhaps because I purchased every damn photograph that Jose fucker had on display at his art show including the negatives. He had no business pimping Ana out to the highest bidder even if the bidder was me. When I spoke to him after settling up with the gallery, the fucker had the gall to admit that most of those candid shots of Ana were taken without her knowledge or consent while he just "fooled around" with the camera. She hadn't even been asked to sign a release. What a douche.

I expected to see her at the venue, but she never showed. Then again, she didn't have access to the phone where he sent the reminder. It was still in my possession, unlike its true owner. If I was fifty shades of fucked up before Ana, I can't even determine how many shades more were added following her abrupt departure. Everything became drab and flavorless. I was numb and frozen as the elevator doors closed, separating us with a smooth whisper of finality. I knew this life wasn't for her. Why did I pick up the gauntlet? And why the fuck did she throw it down in the first place?

She was the sunshine of my days and I didn't realize it until her light was gone and everything was shrouded in darkness. The dreams of life with the crackwhore became interspersed with nightmares of Ana shutting her out of my life in every manner possible. I couldn't call her and my e-mails went unanswered, even my invitation to provide transportation to the fucker's show. Every door to her was closed unless I enlisted the aid of the ball-crusher and that avenue became a dead-end, as Elliot had fucked her over as he had many in the past. Apparently, their trial honeymoon had gone down in flames as he decided to host an impromptu final hoorah featuring scotch and strippers while in Barbados.

Leila had disappeared like a fart in the wind after slashing her wrists in Escala, prompting my abrupt departure from Savannah. She was nowhere to be found and my elite team had no leads at all, as no-one had heard from her in weeks. At the time, it seemed so important to nip her bullshit in the bud and get her some assistance, but now I see her cry for help as the manipulation it was. Like sleight of hand, I went in pursuit of Leila while Anastasia slipped through my fingers.

My acquisition of SIP, now GP, went without a hitch, but its only employee I gave a shit about wanted nothing to do with me. I wonder if she even knows I own it now that the information embargo has lifted. She'd spread her wings a little since our separation, carving a niche for herself with various editors. She had written a stunning proposal, encouraging upper management to treat interns on a floating basis to increase their familiarity with different aspects of publishing, remarking that it made little sense to tie recent graduates to one supervisor unless that person also functioned as a mentor, especially as interns seems to have an especially high turnover rate. Since the existing editors' job descriptions didn't include that role, Ana's proposal was accepted and implemented almost immediately.

This suited me to the ground as Jack Hyde, her immediate supervisor, had an alarming turnover rate. He went through interns faster than I went through subs, almost four to five a year and they never stayed long enough to qualify for promotions or benefits which is probably why his behavior wasn't flagged. He wasn't costing SIP much because he managed to hire new interns as fast as they quit. It screamed poor business practice, so I was pleased she'd managed to drag herself from beneath his thumb without my influence.

As the weeks crawled by, it was if she never existed. I thought she'd at least reach out after the helicopter crash, but I received no messages from her. The night of my birthday party, I felt like I'd hit rock bottom. I'd received messages, calls and well-wishes from everyone except who I wanted to hear from most. Surprised that my family had held vigil at my apartment, I brusquely ushered them out with assurances that I was fine, Elena trailing slowly after them.

I could envision this scene playing out differently, my parents supporting a waiting, grieving Anastasia. Instead, Elena played the sympathetic confidante to my mother. Then, she made a fatal mistake. She told me that she had a new sub with no limits to speak of that she wanted me to vet. When I looked up, I caught the vindictive look of gloating as she remonstrated that Anastasia was never right for me. Was this supposed to be my life? Was that what all the training prepared me for? Disposable sex dolls? Life as a mindless automaton, discarding woman after woman in my wake? For the first time in my life, I saw myself as nothing more than the pimp whose poison destroyed my mother. And if I was no better than the pimp, what did that make Elena?

Seeing Elena through Anastasia's eyes changed everything. No wonder she was filled with horror and disgust when she realized Elena and I remained in contact! Was this what Ana saw when she walked out on me? Elena like a ghost in our bed, egging me on to greater extremes until I finally pushed Ana away for good? I should never have expected Anastasia to be my sub. It's one thing to want to be dominated in the bedroom, another thing entirely to be dominated everywhere. She was a virgin for Christ's sake and I just tore through her innocence, declaring her open. Now she's open to the next fucker who can offer her what I never did. My idea of "more" and hers couldn't be further apart, and it would be up to me to close the distance. Everything in my life has been constrained by my fear of touch and need for control but the only thing I truly control is GEH. My submissives were no more than paid volunteers. I didn't control them; they were bought and paid for. Some of them I'm still paying for their silence and compliance. I knew one thing, I couldn't continue this way.

There was another attempted breach of Escala, only this time it wasn't Leila. An armed and unidentified male subject managed to gain access to the service elevator, but was deterred by my security team who managed to wound him. I found myself quite pleased that it wasn't just a flesh wound and the bullet lodged in his leg would prove to be painful. Whoever the fucker was would be limping for life since I doubt he sought immediate medical treatment for the gunshot wound he received from Sawyer. I hate guns, but I must admit I'm grateful Taylor won the argument allowing my CPOs to be armed even within the apartment. In view of the most recent actionable threats against me, I encouraged Taylor and Welch to increase my security team, further bolstering the protective detail for my family despite their vehement protests.

My sister proved to be quite recalcitrant until I invited her to Escala for dinner where I showed Mia her latest credit card statements and informed her that I was tired of carrying dead weight and I was looking to streamline my expenses. It's not like I expected her to, gasp, get a fucking job, but the least she could do is assist me in keeping her alive and unharmed. I reluctantly showed her a few of the less violent threats against my family and her specifically. She marched her narrow ass out of my apartment with a huff, but took an additional CPO on her way out. Progress.

My team and I hammered out a new security protocol and my proscribed list had trebled. Although Elena wasn't on it, her access to me was severely curtailed, especially as I lined up numerous back-to-back business trips, ostensibly to closely examine several prospective acquisitions but mainly to stave off unexpected business meetings with Elena as she began to drop in at GEH with stunning regularity. Her determination to keep me balls-deep in submissives was highly off-putting now that I gotten wise to her tricks. I considered myself a fairly astute man, yet I relied on her for every aspect of my personal life. There was no reason for me to remain affiliated with Esclava. Neither could I imagine gifting her two million dollars in equity. Maybe I should gift them to Mia instead as she and my mother use the salon faithfully. I own more and more shares in Esclava every year as I reinvested my dividends and plough them into the salon instead of taking what seems to be peanuts out of the business. Elena draws from the salons frequently, steadily losing equity. If this was tug-o-war, Elena would be faceplanting about now. If she was smart, she would have stopped poking the tiger.

I found myself bringing in the New Year alone, as not even Gail or Taylor were in residence. The apartment seemed more sterile than ever, utterly devoid of anything remotely festive. There wasn't even a Christmas tree to dismantle. It was as dull and lifeless as everything else in my life. Perhaps nursing a scotch alone wasn't my brightest idea, but maybe some preemptive self-medication would help me find some dreamless sleep. The first clue that things weren't going to go to plan was the warning chime of my private elevator though all the codes had been changed but one. The next hint was the almost silent swish of the elevator doors opening. The body stumbling hurriedly into the entryway halted every other thought in its tracks.

Her pale skin was liberally mottled with bruises, and her spangled dress dripped on the marble tiles. Her body began to collapse as if invisible strings supporting her had been suddenly cut. Her protruding rib cage and hipbones were evidence of many missing meals. She looked like I felt: starved.

"Chris—" she murmured as she fell bonelessly into my waiting arms.

"I got you, baby," I responded to her unconscious form, pressing my lips to her temple, "I got you."

I picked up her slight form, carrying her into the master bath where I swiftly divested her of her saturated garments. Even her hair was soaked. I grabbed every towel from the rack, drying her as carefully as I could, especially as I noticed that her body boasted extensive bruising even beneath her dress. Had she been mugged? I squeezed out the majority of the water from her hair, wrapping another towel around her head like a turban to absorb the remainder.

Although I had her abandoned clothes moved from the sub bedroom to my closet, I dressed her in one of my softest t-shirts and a pair of my boxers. She reminded me of a little porcelain doll with her long, dark, curling lashes and creamy face against my navy blue bedding. I could almost pretend that the bruises were shadows if I hadn't seen the state in which she had arrived. I removed the towel from her hair and finger-combed her thick tresses. Gently turning her head, I loosely braided her hair into a long, lustrous plait. I sat on the edge of the bed, watching her get some much-needed rest. Her even breathing lulling me into a stupor, I found myself lying beside her…

I woke up to Ana murmuring and thrashing in the bed, and though she was making contact with my no-go areas, my body didn't react in its instinctive manner. Instead, I pulled her to me firmly, attempting to sooth her and far from the usual jolt I received when we touched, my entire body felt electrified. She felt so soft and warm cradled in my arms. She was mine. She _is_ mine.

Discussions with Flynn after Ana left alternately discouraged and infuriated me. After the crash, however, his questioning delved deeper. No, I didn't love her. I couldn't love. _Love is for fools_. When I snidely dropped that little nugget of wisdom from Elena, Flynn snapped.

" _So, love is for fools?" he asked blandly._

" _Yes."_

" _Is Mia a fool?"_

" _Well, she's a little scatterbrained, but I wouldn't label her a fool."_

" _She loves you, doesn't she?"_

" _Well, yeah, but she's my sister. It pretty much comes with the position," I stated confidently._

" _That's completely false. Much of my practice is comprised of patients who are not loved or don't feel loved by their families," replied Flynn. "And your parents, are they fools? They love each other and you."_

" _Grace and Carrick are an exception to the rule. And they have to love me because they are my parents," I said slowly. Why were we having this conversation? I'd rather him ask questions about the crackwhore. I'd be just as obstructive, but I wouldn't be nearly as pissed._

" _OK, let's pretend that I agree that Grace and Carrick love you because you're their son. That they have to love you because you're Christian Grey. Why then did they love Christian Fields enough to adopt him? They didn't owe Christian Fields a tinker's damn. He was a ward of the state of Michigan. Why did they choose you? They were young, educated, successful and rich! I'm sure they could've practically had a child bred to order. They didn't need the orphaned, mute and mutilated, undernourished bastard son of a crackwhore. So why choose you to pamper and place in the lap of luxury? What made you so special?" he inquired. The questions kept coming and I had no answers because Flynn was right. The Greys never owed me shit and if they said they loved me, they must have meant it because they had no reason to lie unlike that bitch who needed to separate me from my family so she could fuck and beat me._

" _My mother and father love me!" I shouted._

" _They were Grace and Carrick before. Do you use their names to keep them at a distance?" he asked calmly._

" _That's what Elena has always called them. I guess I began thinking of them that way, too."_

" _OK, we're not going to talk about the fact that your sexual relationship began when you were a minor because even minors have sex, but isn't it strange that your mother's best friend was having sex with her child? Didn't Elena say that your family would turn away from you if they found out about your arrangement? If that's the case, and Elena was such a good friend and such a great influence in your life…why would she put your relationship with your family in jeopardy? What would be her motivation to separate you from your family or separate loving parents from their child?"_

 _He continued, "If you woke up one morning and the Greys acted like you never existed, if they no longer wasted your precious time inviting you to their tedious family gatherings, would you be happy? Or would Elena be happy? After all, she'd finally have you right where she wanted you: all to herself."_

During the next session, he challenged my reaction to Ana leaving me. He asked me what I had to offer someone like Anastasia. He even gave me a pen, paper and five minutes to make a list. Once the list was completed, he had me read it aloud. He nodded and hummed in all the right places, but I was floored when he said that most of the things I listed were things she could do by herself with a little luck and timing.

" _Christian, you've been conditioned to appreciate women who have little to offer you but their bodies and their compliance. You've never really had to earn a woman's love or trust. You've never even needed to pursue one. A woman like Miss Steele would require and demand more from a man than a hard cock and a bank account, no matter how large," he stated succinctly. "You believe because you know her body, you know her. The real Anastasia is the one that could love you and still walk away to save you both irreparable heartbreak. She tried it your way, but couldn't continue and preserve her dignity. Next session, make two lists. The first list should contain what you think you would need to do to have Anastasia in your life. On the second list, write everything from the first list that you'd be willing to do to make it happen."_

Holding Anastasia against me for the first time in months awakened something desperate and primal deep inside me. Her smell surrounded me and I wanted to drown inside her and plumb her depths with ferocious urgency. My control was hanging by a ragged thread which snapped when she began to subconsciously grind her core against my crotch. She was still topping from the bottom in her fucking sleep!

My name moaned in a whisper provided all the consent I needed as I hooked my finger in the waistband of the boxers she was wearing. Her hips thrust upwards towards my hand as her heat scorched me. I pulled the boxers down, discarding them as I settled between her legs. Was she still sleeping? Were we already making love in her dreams?

"Christian, I need you," she murmured hotly, pressing her core against my face, my stubble moving along her small tidy patch of hair inhaling the sweet, pungent aroma of her arousal. My tongue gently attacked her nether lips as they made a slow circuit to her clit, tapping it lightly with my tongue. I wanted to consume her pussy like the rare delicacy it was. Never breaking contact from her core, I allowed one finger to caress her slit, slipping shallowly inside her pussy. I wanted her to know that I could be gentle and take her needs into account. Her hips began to sway back and forth, fucking my face and finger as I added another finger to scissor within her painfully tight passage.

"Ugh, Christian. Yes!" she panted. The yes was appreciated but not the one I needed. I needed more consent. I wanted her eyes trained on me as her body took me in. I was unnerved and practically unmanned in this twilight communion. Slowly moving my body up her body, my fingers continued their ministrations. My other hand grasped a breast, kneading it, paying special attention to her pert nipples.

"Ana," I groaned, needing more of her, all of her. Her head turned in the direction of my voice and her eyes opened, revealing her sky-kissed blue eyes. Her hand reached up and cradled my jaw. She leaned upward, touching her lips to mine for the first time in months. "Chris—" she began, as my lips pressed deeply onto hers, dominating the kiss and sharing her succulent nectar. "Let me," I implored as I stroked her clit firmly, my hardness rubbing against her softness. She nodded in assent and I guiding myself in her recesses. Aw, she was tight, holding me securely and wetly. I glided within her, rocking into her for long moments, my length becoming slick with precum and her arousal. Our eyes met and she threaded her fingers through my hair. This is how our first time should have been.

Her leg was hitched around my waist as I fucked her deeper and harder and she moved against me with equal fervor. Suddenly, I changed positions, rolling us over so that she was on top. She tried to pull away, uncomfortable, not knowing where to place her hands. I wrapped my arm around her hips and used one hand to pull her up and push her down on my erection. I used my other hand to remove her hands from my thighs where there were currently resting, drawing them to my chest despite her protests.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," I replied dismissively. Only she could touch me like this and if it burned, we'd go down in flames together. She began to ride me in earnest and our bodies rocked together in unison. Her abdominal muscles began to contract and she began riding me with abandon, her inner walls rippling and squeezing me tightly. I could feel my release building and hurtling towards completion in concert with hers. She leaned sideways, encouraging me to take control and get back on top of her, maintaining the same delicious rhythm.

I pressed her to the mattress as she began to buck wildly beneath me, her ragged gasps betraying her precipice. Her muscles squeezed my length as I thrust inside several times, spearing into her as I swept my thumb in tight circles over her clit. I felt myself growing larger, squirting my release for long moments as her thighs gripped me, her pussy gyrating and contracting in deep spasms. I filled her with my essence, painting her wall with streams of cum as she bathed me with her juices. I held her to me tightly, rolling to the side so I wouldn't crush her small frame. Deep, shaky breaths broke the silence.

"What was that?" she asked shyly.

"That was me telling you that I love you with my body," I said.

"'With my body, I thee worship?'"

"Something like that."

"Christian, we have to talk. Something happened tonight before I came here. The NDA I signed kept me from contacting you, and I thought you had cut all ties with me—" she said as I cut her off.

"I emailed you at least once a week since you've been gone!" I shouted.

"Christian! Listen! I know that _now_. Someone has been diverting my mail since I began working at SIP. I found out tonight when Jack Hyde tried to attack me. Elizabeth Morgan is helping him. She's the one that gave me drugged champagne. Luckily, I don't like to consume open drinks, so I poured most of it out and pretended to down it all, so I only became a little disoriented. Christian, Jack is the one who sabotaged Charlie Tango!"

"What the fuck!"

"He admitted it tonight when he tried to hustle me into his van. Good thing he had a limp or I never would've been able to overtake him," she said.

"He has a limp?" I asked calmly, my mind racing.

"Yeah, it's the funniest thing. About a month or so ago, he came to work using a cane of all things. He claimed it was an old injury, but a few people at the office said that was a total lie. Personally, I hope one of the interns kneed the hell out of Captain Space Invader."

"So, you didn't come when you thought I'd pushed you away, but you came here tonight to keep me safe, even though you would have been breeching our agreement?"

"I couldn't let someone hurt you when I had information that could prevent it. Besides, what would you sue me for? My student loans?" she asked sassily.

"You and your smart mouth," I said, jogging to my office, where I opened the safe and pulled out her file and the NDA. I brought them with me to the bedroom and dragged Anastasia from the bed, as she desperately snagged a sheet in which to cover herself, drawing her into the great room where the fireplace was burning.

"Why are we here?" she asked grumpily.

"We're here to correct a grave injustice," I stated.

"OK, I'll bite. What injustice?"

"Once upon a time, I told a beautiful, innocent woman to fuck the paperwork and then proceeded to bully her to sign anyway. This," I said, brandishing her file, "is me rectifying the situation," I continued, ripping the file in half, ripping it again and tossing the pieces into the fire.

"Yeah?" she asked, giggling.

"Yes. If you stay, there will be no more rules or punishments."

"But you need control."

"I need you, and you don't like it. We'll talk about my epiphanies another day. Happy New Year, Anastasia."

"Happy New Year, Christian."


	16. Entry 15: rapunzelclayre

. **  
ENTRY NUMBER FIFTEEN**

* * *

 _ **~Glitter and Love~**_

 _February 13, 2019_

Christian was about to head out of his home office to go find his wife but as he opened the door he heard the ping of his email. Assuming it was Ros about the deal they were working on, he left the door open and went to respond. As he sat down, he looked toward the door and saw Ana running by in a skimpy looking outfit.

"Ana come here." He growled.

"Christian let me go change, please." She huffed.

Christian couldn't help but laugh once he really looked at his wife standing in his office door. Her shirt was soaked and she was sparkling. Once he composed himself ,he said "Ana you look like you just finished your _Flashdance_ routine at The Dancing Bare. What happened?" He chuckled.

"Maybe I did Grey. Too bad you missed it. There was this hot guy there too that was just begging to take me home with him but I thought you might miss me" Ana replied.

"Watch that smart mouth Mrs. Grey! No one sees you like this but me!" He barked, then quickly softened.

"But seriously, why do you look like a contestant in a wet t-shirt contest at spring break?"

"Your daughter decided that her Valentine for Joey wasn't special enough so she wanted to make him one instead of using the ones you bought."

"Of course a Valentine that has handwritten calligraphy and professional artwork cannot possibly be good enough for little Joey Tucker. I still say you should let me put covert detail on him."

"Christian he is four years old, why would you need to waste an adult's time stalking him? You already have detailed background checks on all the parents in each of the kids' classes. Isn't that enough?"

"Ana it's not stalking, it's surveillance and he could already be a player. One day he might have held little Sally's hand, the next he is trying to kiss Abby, and then moving on to our princess Phoebe. I'm telling you Ana he is starting his man whoring early. Elliot was that way and I just want to protect my little girl. You wouldn't let me put her in an all girls school so what do you expect from me Ana?"

"Really Christian? I don't think she will have her heart broken at four. She just likes to play with him at recess."

"That's another thing Ana, are we sure those teachers are really watching them and not letting them sneak behind the bleachers?"

"Christian stop it! They are four years old! I hardly think they are sneaking behind the bleachers for blow jobs. Besides, Reynolds is there keeping an eye out anyway. Just drop it."

"Really Ana?! Blow jobs? I know that is not happening but I just don't want my little girl to have a boy be more important than me right now okay. It's going to happen soon enough and I'd like to think I have over twenty five more years before it does, but realistically it's probably only ten. We are getting off track, tell me what happened already."

"Alright, alright, Since you were still working and the kids were playing in their rooms, I decided to get in a little yoga so I changed into my camisole and these shorts."

"You call those shorts, they look like some of your panties?"

She rolled her eyes and he clenched his jaw.

Ana continued, "As I was saying, I had just finished my warm up when Phoebe came in upset. She told me how she wanted to make Joey an extra special Valentine because they play together everyday and she's the only one who plays with him. I went to her room and she had all of her red and pink glitters out so we got to work on making an extra special Valentine. I swear I will have glitter on me forever. You know it is always so hard to get off but I just couldn't say no to her. She has such a good heart to want to be sure he doesn't play alone."

"A heart like her mother. Well that explains Ana Sparkles. How did you get all wet, I thought I was the only one who got you wet?"

"Christian!" Ana admonished. "Well after we finished glitter clean up, I ran Phoebe a bath. After it was full, I went to get her. I'm still as graceful as ever, because I tripped over the bath mat and fell in the tub."

He started to laugh which caused her to laugh as well.

"It's not funny Christian. I think I already have bruises on my arm and hip."

"Oh Mrs Grey but if it wasn't for that gracefulness you wouldn't have fell into my office and into my heart." He said as he got up and stalked toward her.

"Mr Grey you say the sweetest things. Unless you want to join the glitter gang you should let me go shower. Will you go get Phoebe from Gail and get her put to bed and make sure Teddy is ready for bed?" She asked him as she backed away because she could see the desire in his eyes.

"Alright Mrs Grey, I'll go settle the children and then I will come fuck... I mean tuck you into bed."

Ana giggled and made her way to their room as Christian went to check on the children.

His first stop was Teddy's room. He was already in bed and asleep, worn out from a day of playing soccer in the meadow with his friends Silas, Josh, and Hunter. Christian gave his son a kiss on his forehead, then just stood watching him sleep. He remembered when he would watch him for hours when they had just brought him home. The worrying about being a father evaporated because he immediately felt protective of Teddy and wanted to be sure he was right there when needed. Ana would often find Christian asleep in the chair in Teddy's room during his infant and toddler stages. Now he was a rambunctious six year old and the only time he was quiet was when he was sleeping.

He then went to Phoebe's room to hopefully be able to read her a story and tuck her in. He walked in just as Gail was going to begin Phoebe's story.

"Mr Grey, I didn't know you were finished with your work. Ana said she would return to get Phoebe ready for bed but she hasn't yet."

"How many times must I tell you to call me Christian, Gail?"

"I'm sorry Christian. Old habits."

He smiled as he thought of some of his old habits that he may have to use on Ana when he is finished putting Phoebe to bed.

"It's fine Gail. I'll take over now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Christian."

"Princess what story do you want to read tonight?" As if he had to ask, he would bet his fortune she would pick Beauty and the Beast because she always does.

"Daddy I want to read Beauty and the Beast."

"Alright Princess I'll get it for you."

Just like Teddy, Phoebe was advanced for her age and could read the story by herself. Phoebe made it to the part where Belle was searching for her father when she asked daddy to take over. She only made it to the part where Belle and the Beast were dancing before she was sleeping soundly. Christian remembered dancing with Ana just before taking her to his parents house for the first time and recalled how nervous he was for his family to meet this incredible woman. He never told Ana about his nervousness that night. He was so hoping his family would like her even though at the time he wasn't sure about the feelings he was having. He only knew that she was different and he wanted to be different with her. He just wasn't sure how to do it yet.

He had to see his wife immediately so he got up as carefully as he could from his daughter's bed, pulled her cover up, and kissed her cheek.

He quickly made his way to the master bedroom and saw his beautiful wife sitting in their bed.

"I thought I was going to have to come get you Mr Grey."

"Sorry as I looked in on Teddy and then read to Phoebe, I began to reminisce."

"Good things I hope. Let me guess Beauty and the Beast?"

"Of course. I can't believe they have grown so much. Dance with me Mrs Grey."

"I would love to Christian. What brought this on?"

He just smirked and said "I just want to dance with my beautiful wife."

She got out of bed as he went to the iPod docked in their room and put on Sinatra's _Witchcraft_. He then made his way back to his wife, who looked as beautiful as she did the first time they danced to this song. She may not have been in a dress but his Harvard shirt, that she loved to wear, made her look just as sexy to him. As they danced around their room, Ana looked up to her husband and asked

"Why did you select this song Christian?"

"I made it to the part where Belle was dancing with the Beast and I began thinking of the dance we shared before going to my parents house. I never told you before but I was so nervous."

"Christian Grey nervous I couldn't tell. I was the one nervous because you had taken my panties and I refused to give you the satisfaction of me asking for them back. As we left the penthouse, I began freaking out about meeting your family sans panties."

"I should have known then you wouldn't have been submissive all the time. Although I did already have a good idea because you challenged me and it was so refreshing. I actually didn't want you to change and I am so very glad you never signed that contract."

"I am too. I knew I couldn't be submissive either but I felt like we had a great connection and I didn't want to regret not trying a relationship, no matter the type, with you."

"I love you Anastasia. 'Cause there's no nicer witch than you." He sang the end of the song to her just like the first night they danced to this song.

"I love you too Christian."

She reached up, putting her fingers in his hair and pulled him to her lips. Their slow sweet kiss soon turned heated and full of passion. He walked her back to the bed and pulled her shirt over her head to reveal her beautiful body to him.

"No underwear, Mrs Grey, I approve."

"We aim to please Mr Grey, but you are wearing too many clothes."

"Why don't you do something about that."

She blushed and began to remove his clothes. His shirt was first to go and she kissed from his washboard abs up to his neck as she unbuttoned and pushed off his shirt. While her mouth paid special attention to his scars on his chest, she began to unbutton and unzip his pants. As he stepped out of his pants and boxer briefs, she remained on her knees and took him into her mouth. He moaned in appreciation as she expertly sucked his full length. He quickly pulled her up and placed her in the center of the bed. Ana pouted like a child whose lollipop was taken away.

"As much as I love your mouth on my dick, I want to be inside of you baby. But first I'm going to worship your body like the goddess you are should be worshipped."

He kissed her lips until they needed to breathe and then moved down her neck continuing to her breasts. He gave each one plenty of attention with his mouth and his hands. When he made it to her core and dipped his tongue in, he thought she was just as sweet as she was the first time he tasted her.

"Christian...babe, uhh...I am so close...please I want you inside me."

"Who am I to deny my sexy wife." With those words, he kissed back up her body to her mouth and as he kissed her, he slowly entered her and they both moaned in appreciation of him filling her. He slowly thrust in and out of her, while they looked into each other's eyes. They shared such an intense connection it wasn't long before Christian said,

"I'm so…close...come for me baby"

"Chris...tian" She moaned out her release just as he did the same, her name like a prayer from his lips.

They kissed once more before falling into a peaceful sleep in each other's arms. Both dreaming of how great their life is, even if it is not perfect, it is perfect for them.

 _February 14, 2019_

Valentine's Day for the Greys started just like any other morning. Christian made love to his wife before waking the kids and taking them to Gail to eat breakfast. He then went to join his wife in the shower for round two. They had to quickly dress or they would have been late because of their morning activities.

With it being a Thursday, they both had to work and the kids had school. With a gala on Saturday, he couldn't take his wife for a romantic getaway like he had done before but he had a plan he knew his wife would love just as much.

She appreciated the thoughtful gifts more than the expensive ones and he felt he nailed it this year. He had her assistant Hannah book her afternoon with a "meeting" at the restaurant in the Fairmont. He reserved the Cascade suite, the same one where, even though he didn't say the words, he first admitted that he loved her. He had another charm to add to her bracelet, it resembled a lei to represent their trip to Hawaii. Initially the bracelet was for all of their firsts but over the years it also included representations of their travels. He had also been working on a song that he would play for her after their children went to bed. He was nervous but excited and couldn't wait for her reaction.

Ana was surprised when Christian showed up at the Fairmont while she was waiting on Heath Fair to meet her.

"Christian what are you doing here? I am supposed to be meeting with someone wanting to write an autobiography any minute now."

"Mrs Grey allow me to introduce myself, I am Heath Fair. Happy Valentine's Day Mrs Grey, what do you say we go upstairs to our suite?"

"You are sneaky Mr Grey. I can't wait to see what you have planned. Your gift is still at our home"

"That's fine baby, we have to be home with the kids this afternoon anyway. I don't want to miss dinner with them and I want to hear about their day."

They spent the entire afternoon wrapped in each other's arms and enjoying every surface of the Cascade suite as well as the bag of toys Christian had packed.

They made it home just as Gail was putting the finishing touches on dinner. The kids heard their parents and rushed to greet them. As they ate, Teddy talked animatedly about his day as did Phoebe. They loved school and were high achieving students. Once they finished dinner, the children presented their Valentines they made together for their parents. Teddy drew the pictures and wrote the words that they loved them very much, while Phoebe made sure it was pretty enough by adding glitter and stickers.

Ana and Christian gave the children their gifts that they had decided on together. They had gotten Teddy the new soccer game for his Xbox and Phoebe some new princess dress up clothes and accessories. Christian had wanted to go overboard and get Phoebe real jewelry and Teddy a trip to meet his favorite soccer player, Cristiano Ronaldo, but Ana told him that it was way over the top for kids for Valentine's Day. She talked him into letting her choose the gifts and he could do what he wanted as their birthday presents. Christian reluctantly agreed and began thinking of what else he could spoil his offspring with on their birthdays.

The kids went off to play for a little while before bed. Christian and Ana made their way to the family room to sit in front of the fireplace.

"Today was amazing Christian, it was one of the best Valentine's Days you've ever planned. I love my charm, thank you so much. I hope you and I can go to Hawaii again because it was so beautiful. I loved today because I got to spend most of the it with you. I love our kids but I truly cherish our alone time together."

"Just wait until the kids are in bed. Thank you Anastasia for the new pictures for my desk. I love them." She had framed a picture of the kids on The Grace and a picture of their family Kate had taken at Christmas in front of their fireplace.

"Let's go put our kids to bed because I have another surprise for you Mr Grey."

"You have something else for me? I can't wait let's go get them into bed. Let me say goodnight to Phoebe and then I'll put Teddy to bed."

"Ok I'll tell Teddy goodnight and then read Phoebe her story."

They set off for their children. Christian knew Teddy would be out before Phoebe so it would give him time to make sure the music room was perfect before Ana was finished with Phoebe.

Ana thought Phoebe would never fall asleep. She completely read Beauty and the Beast and then started on Tangled before asking her mommy to take over but she didn't fall asleep until the very end. As Ana quietly left her daughter's room, she hurried to their room to look for her husband.

She couldn't wait to give him the rest of his Valentine's gift. She made it to their room but was disappointed that he wasn't in there but also thrilled that she could get changed into the Agent Provocateur lingerie she had for the night. It was sheer and had red straps with red roses printed on down the sides and just barely covered her nipples. She put on thigh highs and attached the garter to them knowing it would drive Christian crazy.

As she crawled on the bed to attempt to be in a sexy pose for Christian, she noticed a note on her pillow.

 _Anastasia_

 _Please do me the honor of joining me in the music room._

 _Love,_

 _Christian x_

She quickly put her long red robe on, grabbed the envelope she had for him, and made her way to the music room. When she opened the door, she was blown away by what she saw. There were red roses and candles everywhere. Her husband was behind the piano and began playing a beautiful song that she couldn't quite place until he started to sing.

 _What would I do without your smart mouth?_

 _Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_

 _Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_

 _What's going on in that beautiful mind_

 _I'm on your magical mystery ride_

 _And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_

 _My head's under water_

 _But I'm breathing fine_

 _You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

' _Cause all of me_

 _Loves all of you_

 _Love your curves and all your edges_

 _All your perfect imperfections_

As he kept singing, Ana, with tears in her eyes, made her way over to her husband. She had loved this song since the first time she heard it and now it had new meaning for her. As he finished the song she put the envelope on the piano, dropped her robe, and kissed him with all she had before Christian could even react.

"Christian that was so beautiful. I cannot thank you enough for this perfect day." She managed through her tears.

Ana was always beautiful to him but when she wore lingerie like she had on, he swore she was Aphrodite. He couldn't believe he was so lucky to have such a wonderful woman as his wife. As much as he wanted to unwrap her, that envelope intrigued him.

"You truly are a goddess Ana. You look amazing! But I wanna know what is that Mrs Grey?", he asked pointing to the envelope.

"Open it" was all she said.

He opened the envelope to see a handmade card that had a huge glitter heart on it. In Ana's handwriting it said on the front, "I hope your heart…" He opened it up and on the left it said "has room for one more", on the right was an ultrasound photo.

"Are you serious Ana?" He asked her in shock.

She bit her lip and shook her head yes, a little worried because they hadn't planned on another child.

He gave her his megawatt smile and grabbed her face to kiss her with all he had. He ripped her lingerie, leaving her thigh highs, put her on the piano, and they made love. When they came down from their high, he put his pants back on and she donned her robe so they could continue their celebration in their bedroom.

When they woke the next morning, Ana giggled at Christian and said

"Mr Grey it seems we are both covered in glitter."

 **The End**

* * *

A/N: The song Christian played and sang is John Legend's All of Me.


	17. Entry 16: ruby34

_**.  
ENTRY NUMBER SIXTEEN**_

* * *

 _ **~Below Deck~**_

"Welcome to the Fantasy of the Seas, Ms. Steele. Here is your ships guide, map, itinerary and key card. Benvenuti in un avventura sui mari! Welcome to life on the Seas!"

"Grazie sono molto ecciato!" I think I just shocked the old man handing out the welcome packages by thanking him in Italian. He doesn't know I am fluent in Italian among other things. I am so excited! This isn't what I had planned to do after going to Yale but they made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

Last year after everything happened with Scott I was so upset. I was not looking forward to going back to Montesano and seeing our friends and family. This opportunity came at the best possible time. It gave me the out I needed. Adventure Cruise Lines will pay me to do what I have wanted to do all my life, travel. They will help pay off my student loan and I still get paid. I always thought I would use my degree to translate the novels I love to read or maybe be a translator at a large company. This was never in the picture but once the recruiter came to school I knew this was for me. I have a Linguistics degree from Yale and minored in Dance. I was in the dance theater when Emily Koates the YDT faculty director and the recruiter called me over. They asked if I was interested in a career on the seas. I didn't really know what they were talking about but apparently I was being head hunted even before graduating. They need people who can communicate with the passengers that come from a host of countries. My being able to dance on top of it made it a two for one. I wasn't sure at first but everything with Scott solidified my decision.

Luckily I hadn't told him anything so when I started training and spent spring break getting certified by the Coast Guard in all the maritime rules and regulations he had no idea where I was. I didn't need to see him after what he did. Only my dad knew why I wasn't coming home for Christmas break and why I was so busy.

May 15th was graduation and by the 19th I was on a plane from New Haven to Venice. I love that Ray flew out for graduation. Mom of course couldn't make it. I think she is on husband number nine or ten. I stopped learning the last names. I think this one is thirty five years older than mom. That just seems weird. If she wants to pull an Anna-Nicole and change some old guy's diapers, whatever floats her boat. I have read that is a thing…yuck. No thank you.

I had already packed before graduation and Ray is having everything shipped home. I am bringing one suitcase and my backpack. From what I have read the crew quarters are tiny on Cruise ships. I do not care; I do not intend to spend my free time in my room unless I am asleep.

"Ouch" oh shit I just ran into a wall of muscle and landed on my ass, graceful Ana.

"I am sorry, are you okay?" I look up and see an amazingly handsome man in uniform, tall, short brown hair dark eyes and an amazing body. Who doesn't love a man in uniform? He reaches out his hand and helps me off the floor.

"Hi, sorry about that, I was looking for the elevator and I think I might have gotten lost."

"It must be your first day, Anastasia right?" How? Huh?

"How do you know my name?"

"Well you have your name tag and I am second in command of ship's security. I help with security screenings and I remember your name. My name is Sawyer." He reaches out his hand to shake. I feel like an idiot.

"Hello Sawyer it's nice to meet you. Sorry you just startled me by knowing who I was." Cue blush, ugh that is so annoying.

"Don't worry about it. I will tell you a secret, my twin sister was obsessed with Princess Anastasia and she would constantly watch the movie. When I saw your name it reminded me of her and how she made me dance around and sing the songs with her." If I am not mistaken he is now blushing. Glad I am not the only one that happens to.

"Let me see your map and I will give you some tips about getting around this boat." Sawyer helped me get to the elevators and even to my room. He asked me to meet him for drinks tomorrow night in the crew bar. Normally I would say no to someone I don't know but I am going to try new things. I will be on this tub for at least the next nine months. We have a week until we officially come out of dry dock and I want to enjoy myself. I have always been the good girl that never breaks the rules; I was always super ready for every test, first at dance practice and last to leave. I can still do my job while enjoying my time off. _Let the adventure begin_.

I open the door to my cabin. I am pleasantly surprised. I was expecting a closet sized room with bunk beds. Instead, I have a room with light blue walls, a flat screen television, a small desk, a closet and the best thing - A single full sized bed; no bunk beds means no roommate. Granted the bed touches both walls and I could probably fit this cabin in my walk-in closet at dads but it is worth it. I turn around and as I close the door to the room, to my surprise there is another door. I have my own bathroom and shower! This keeps getting better! I spend the next hour putting my things away and studying the welcome package. I know I said I would be a new Ana, but I don't want to be a lost Ana.

I am trying to decide what to do first when someone knocks on my door. As soon as I open it a vivacious blonde starts to talk a mile a minute.

"Hello I am Kate, I am in charge of crew morale, crew activities and I also assist with the passenger entertainment. My room is down the hall. We are having a hall party tonight. It is tradition before a new cruise starts."

"Hello I am Anastasia but call me Ana. That sounds like fun. What time?"

"Everyone usually opens their doors around ten but it doesn't get ragging until 11 or 12. We have parties in the halls or the crew bar all the time but usually you need to be careful for work the next morning. Since the passengers don't come aboard for a few more days we get a little leeway. I am going ashore for a few hours, do you want to come? Venice is beautiful and I love to shop."

"Oh my god, yes! Normally shopping isn't my favorite thing to do but now that I see that I have a little bit more room I would love to get some stuff."

"Yeah we are lucky. We are considered officers so our rooms aren't tin cans. Some people have four people to a room. My first year aboard I had a roommate and she was horrible. Susannah had a different guy in our room every night. I am all for fun and I am definitely not a prude but the only thing separating me from them was this curtain that left nothing to the imagination. She would sleep with anything with a dick. Whoever was last at the bar would end up in our room. Luckily for me she went back to a job on land." Kate talks a mile a minute but I like her. I think she will be a great friend. Kate explains that as long as we have our crew badge we can leave the ship. We just need to be back by ten.

We spend the day exploring Venice. I don't think I've ever laughed so much. My sides are hurting. Kate's friend, Jose, joined us. I was pleasantly surprised that he is part of the dance company on board. He is tall, dark, handsome and fabulously gay as can be. He has great taste in clothes and helped me find some beautiful dresses and an almost indecent bikini. Kate, Jose and I spent the afternoon checking out guys. Jose called dibs on some of the nicest eye candy ever.

We make our way back to the boat, and I see a Greek God in line in front of us. I thought Sawyer was built; the guy in front of us is the finest specimen of man I have ever seen. He has dark glasses on so I can only see a portion of his face but his copper hair is messy and gorgeous. I would love to run my fingers through his hair. I wonder what he does on board.

"Don't get your hopes up Ana." Jose pulls me out of my Greek God induced haze.

"What are you talking about Jose?"

"I saw you looking at the Grey God; don't get your hopes up. He doesn't usually fraternize with entertainment staff." That makes me mad.

"What does he have against the entertainment staff?" Jose laughs, I would love to be let in on the inside joke.

"Ana he is the ship's pianist and he will also sing on some occasions. He has a voice like Frank Sinatra. He is part of the ship's entertainment but because of some bad experiences he now only associates with us when he has to." That seems pretentious to bunch all entertainers in the same group.

"His loss!" I huff. I think he might have heard me because I could have sworn I saw him turn his head and smile, _how confusing_.

Kate, Jose and I go back to our cabins. I am pleasantly surprised that Jose is two doors down from me. I get introduced to a bunch of people once the party starts. It reminds me of a Frat party. I thought people partied hard in college, they take it to an entirely new level. People from all over the world partying in one place. Kate said we have 57 different countries working on board. I will certainly get to use all the languages I know. The alcohol was flowing until the middle of the night. I tasted alcohol from so many different places. I don't think I have ever been this drunk. Lucky for me my first meeting isn't until the afternoon. Why didn't I do this in college? Oh yeah the giant tool I thought I was in love with. _Don't think about him_ , _enjoy the sloshed feeling_. Think about the hotness walking all around the ship. Kate said the crew pool is amazing. Hot men, oil, sun kissed skin, rippling muscles, almost naked…why did copper curls smile?

"Ana wake up!" Who is knocking on my door? I was having a great dream about rubbing hot oil all over Jamie Dornan, that hot Irish actor. Shit what time is it? I get up and see it is 12:00. Not too bad. I open the door. Kate and Jose are up and looking like they just got back from working out. They were more drunk than I was last night, how is that possible?

"How are you two standing? You two drank more than I did."

"Young Grass Hopper, you have much to learn!" Jose starts giggling like a girl. Glad I can make him laugh.

"Seriously? What did you do?"

"First you have to drink lots of water before, during and after the party. Make sure you keep hydrated all day. Second, next time try to stick with the clear alcohol, as great as everything is from all around the world ,mixing too many types of liquor is not good. Jose goes on explaining what to do, was I supposed to be taking notes? I think I might be too hungover to remember all of it.

"Having hot sweaty sex works too!" Kate chimes in. I don't see _that_ happening.

"Thanks guys but I think I am too hungover for this."

"Don't worry Ana, we pass out a guide to the newbies but it is tradition to wait until after the first night. You have to get your first hangover. We have all been in your shoes. Next time you will be ready." Kate states

"I don't think I will ever drink again!" Kate and Jose start chuckling like hyenas.

"Ana, we aren't laughing at you, trust me. Kate and I have both been in your shoes. Pretty much everyone on the ship has, except the few who don't drink at all. They usually are suffering from over indulgence at the buffet; those desserts are to die for. Don't worry we will fix you up. Take these two ibuprofens and this shake it is a special hang over shake The Smoothie Hut makes. It has Kale, lemon, banana, some cucumber and some pineapple. You will start to feel better by the time you get out of the shower. We are going to shower and change, and then we can all have lunch before the meetings start." With that they are out of the room. Okay I can do this. Pills, drink, shower then clothes. I just need to ignore the comfy bed.

After a very hot shower that was far too short I am dressed and ready. According to the welcome package this week is casual dress. I just need to change when it is time to practice the new routines. I am not worried about dancing, I got that. I am not really worried about speaking; I am fluent in eight languages and can hold a conversation in another ten. I just need to be confident in myself. Before I fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt, the knock at the door pulls me from the edge.

Kate, Jose and I have brunch. They are right. A good portion of the crew is hungover. I will not let this happen again. At least I hope I won't. I have heard that the cruise line will not tolerate crew members being hungover during their shifts and they have even been known to do random tests with breathalyzers.

The first meeting is at two o'clock. All two hundred fifty of the entertainment/ activities crew members are present. You can tell a lot of this is a repeat and tiresome for much of the crew. I am trying to make sure I don't miss anything when I feel like someone is staring at me. I look around without trying to be obvious. Just as I look at the row behind me I see a mop of copper hair turn away. Could it be? I wonder if my mystery man was really staring at me? He's not mine but I absolutely wouldn't complain. Then again he has an issue with other entertainers. I wonder what his story is. Copper curls looks back up at me. He is too far to see what color his eyes are but he is gorgeous.

"Ana, they're calling you up!"

"What?" Shit! Caught staring and missed when they called my name.

"Anastasia Steele, please come up to the stage." I walk past the rows of crew members not quite sure what I am being called up for.

"Hello Anastasia, I am Daisy Moore. I am the entertainment and activities director. I have asked you to come up on stage because not only are you one of our most accomplished dancers aboard you also speak Italian, Spanish, Farsi, French, Japanese, Arabic, Mandarin, German, Russian, Turkish, Portuguese and a few more, to total about 18 languages. We often have issues where a crew member needs assistance with a guest. I just wanted to give everyone a chance to see who you are so if you are available you can be of assistance until we can get a translator to the location. Thank you for coming up here." I shake hands with the director and make my way to my seat. Copper curls is staring at me, this time I am sure of it. I look away before I start to blush, he isn't the only one looking at me and I don't want anyone else to notice.

After a few more meetings Kate takes me on a tour of the boat. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. Fantasy of the Seas is a ten year old boat that just had 30 million dollars in upgrades added three years ago. It isn't the largest cruise ship in the world but at 1500 feet in length 1400 passenger cabins and 950 crew members the ship is a giant floating city. I can't wait until I can walk around this place without a map or without Kate and Jose. I feel like a puppy following on a leash. While we are walking we bump into Sawyer. Thankfully I didn't land on my ass this time. Sawyer is holding on to me so I didn't fall.

"Ana, nice to see you again, hello Kate, I hope you lovely ladies are doing well today. We are still on for tonight right Ana? Do you need me to come walk you or do you know where the Crew Club is?"

"Hi Sawyer, yes we are still on but I have no idea where the bar is."

"Don't worry Ana, Jose and I are going there tonight, we will make sure you arrive. What time?" I have no idea so I just stare at Sawyer waiting for an answer.

"How about nine thirty?" I just nod my head. Sawyer speaks with us for a few more minutes until he is called away by Taylor whom I later learned is the Head of Ship security. As soon as Sawyer has walked away Kate pounces.

"Spill Steele, when did that happen?"

I retell Kate my not so exciting story of how we met and our meet up tonight. Kate declares that we need to look our best, so we go to the ships spa. Everyone is setting up for the passengers' arrival later this week so the spa is empty. Kate's friend sets us up with manicures and pedicures and even helps with some much needed waxing. The last thing I need is to look as if Chewbacca is living under my dress. Not that anything is going to happen with Sawyer, but you always have to be prepared. It has been six months since I learned the truth about Scott's deception so I am more than ready.

Later after dinner, Kate does my hair as Jose finds me something to wear. I have no idea if they have a dress code. Jose and Kate are a god send. I finally feel ready and we head out to the Crew Club. This place is amazing. It looks and feels like a club on land. We head to the bar and Sawyer comes up behind me and places his arms on my shoulders. He whispers into my ear asking what I would like to drink. I can tell Jose and Kate want to comment but thankfully they remain silent. I order a margarita and a glass of water. I don't want to be hungover all day again.

Eventually Kate and Jose start dancing and the club is jumping. Sawyer and I have slowly gotten closer in the booth as the night has gone by and the liquor has continued to flow. I don't think I have ever just made out in front of random people. Even in high school Scott was against any PDA. We make our way to Sawyer's room and I try not to think about what I am about to do. I have only ever been with Scott. I don't really feel that spark with Sawyer but I really just want a night of uncomplicated fun. He is most definitely fun. I spent half the night laughing. We get to his room and it is much bigger than mine. He too has a single cabin but his is on the third deck behind a white door near the captains quarter and the bridge. Apparently, the higher ranked officers are up here.

After several hours of an amazing work out between Sawyer's sheets I make my way back to my room. Just as I am closing my door two guys come out of Kate's room. I need to ask Kate about that in the morning. I set my alarm for eight am. Four hours of sleep will give me plenty of time for the gym in the morning, not that I need it. I fall asleep remembering the enjoyable feeling of one Luke Sawyer.

I wake to my alarm beeping. I feel much better than I did yesterday. I get ready for the gym and meet Kate and Jose in the hall. I have to ask her about the guys I saw leaving her room but before I have a chance they are both question me about Sawyer.

"Did you and Sawyer hook up last night?" Jose seems more excited than I am. I can't stop the blush that covers me from head to toe. Kate and Jose start squealing.

"How was it? I have heard he is hung like a horse?" Kate really has no filter. I should be embarrassed because I just met these two 2 days ago but I feel like I have known them years. I give in and tell them all the gory details. I have never done that.

"Wait a minute; did you say that was your first one night stand?" Jose interrupts me.

"Yeah, I was with my ex for over five years. He was the only person I have ever been with. I have kissed a few people before him but even he wasn't as hot as Sawyer."

"At least you popped your one night stand cherry with a hot man who knows how to use it. I wonder who your next guy will be."

"Just so you know the ship is a bit of high school, jail and college all mixed together." I am sure I must look completely confused because Kate continues. "Remember in high school, where everyone knew everything about everyone else's business? Who was hooking up with whom, who cheated on who and the love triangles. Well that is the ship's life with great amenities, no homework, and lots of inexpensive alcohol. The rooms are tiny and you are in a giant tin can that you can't easily leave."

"Good to know, what else?" These two are much more helpful than the hours of training I did.

"You have married people that have their own separate lives on the cruise ship. Some have a ship mistress', others sleep with anything and everything. Some people have a don't-ask-don't-tell kind of policy. They consider what happens on the boat stays on the boat. I have had friends that on the ship were completely out-of-the-closet but when they went home to Closedmindville they had to be straight as a board. I don't have time for that."

"I am not one to be a mistress. I try not to judge what others do but cheating isn't my style." Kate chimes in. I wholeheartedly agree. "Last but definitely not least, unless otherwise stated in advance it is a one-night stand. Some people have multiple hook ups with the same person but unless you have that 'We are in a relationship' conversation always play it cool and accept it is a one-nighter. Nobody likes the crazy clinger."

"Thanks guys, I will remember all of that. I am not looking for anything serious. Been there, done that and I ended up broken hearted. I just want to have fun, make friends and visit amazing countries." We finally start to work out. I get lost in the music from my iPod and start singing along in my head while on the elliptical. As I start my cool down I look next to me and Copper curls is on the treadmill. I wonder how long he has been next to me. I hope I wasn't singing out loud. He is smiling at me. I see his mouth moving and remember to remove my earbuds. As I go to stop I go flying off the elliptical in front of a gym full of coworkers and land on my ass, how embarrassing.

"Are you okay?" Copper curls lift me off the floor. I feel a spark between us. As soon as I place my foot down I fall into his chest. "Ouch, I'm sorry; I think I twisted my ankle with my stunning dismount of the elliptical." He actually laughs. He picks me up bridal style.  
"Hey what are you doing?" I try to protest.

"We need to get you to the ship's infirmary; they will be able to make sure you are alright."

"Don't you think that is overkill?"

"Actually no, look around the room and in the corners and on the ceiling as we go down the halls. Unless you are in a restroom, a cabin and a few other places aboard you can be pretty sure that you are being filmed by the CCTV. It is to protect the crew and passengers but mainly the ship. If you are injured and don't get it checked and it is something serious you can get a quick trip back home. It is always better to get it checked." I hadn't thought about that. I guess Jose and Kate were right, the ship is like prison.

"I can try to walk; I am far too heavy for you to carry me all the way to the infirmary." At this he laughs. He really does have an amazing laugh, a beautiful smile and his eyes are an incredible color. They just pull you in, somewhere between a deep blue and silver. I don't think I have ever seen grey eyes before. He has me mesmerized. He is a snake charmer and I am under his spell. I must have been staring for too long because he has stopped and is looking at me.

"Are you alright, did you hit your head?" Good move Ana, stop staring, he isn't an animal at the zoo.

"Sorry, what did you say?" He chuckles but this time I know it is at me. "You have beautiful eyes." Oh shit did I just say that out loud. Too much time with Jose and Kate, I am losing my filter.

"Well thank you very much. I prefer the sparkling cobalt of your eyes." Cue blush. I look down but since he is still holding me that just make me closer to him.

"Anastasia, don't look down. You are beautiful. I would think you would be used to hearing that all the time. Most dancers are used to the constant attention." I continue to look down at his chest. I am trying not to cry. He has no idea what Scott was like; he was never one to pour on the compliments. Copper curls starts walking again towards the infirmary. It is then that I register that he called me Anastasia and I still don't know his name. I look up and he is staring at me with that panty soaking smile.

"Um...How did you know my name? Also may I have the name of my Knight in sweaty gym clothes?" I feel bad that it has taken me this long to ask.

"Christian Grey pleased to meet you my fair lady in equally sweaty clothes." He tips his head as if bowing and we both start laughing hysterically. We continue talking and laughing. We enter the infirmary and everyone is staring at us. What did I miss? Just then I hear Jose and Kate run in shouting if I am alright but they stop as they see that I am in Christian's arms.

Christian places me in the wheelchair that a nurse just brought over. He leans over and whispers in my ear. "I hope your foot is okay, I was looking forward to dancing with you, Lady Anastasia." With that he kisses my cheek and leaves the infirmary. I don't think I have ever been affected by a man in this way.

"What was that? He kissed you!" Kate screeches

"Kate what are you talking about, he kissed my cheek after carrying me for the last twenty minutes. He left before I even had a chance to thank him."

"Ana we have been on the ship with Christian Grey for over two years. He hasn't been that nice to a woman in that entire time. He isn't batting for my team either. I would love to be all over that." Jose is dramatically fanning himself.

"I don't know what you guys want me to say." I go on telling them what happened, and only discovering what his name is just minutes ago.

"Sorry Ana, we didn't know what happened. Zack who plays in the blues band said he saw you fall and he told us when we were looking for you. How is your leg feeling now? Do you want some ice?"

"Yes please, I think it will be fine. I have broken it before and it doesn't feel that bad."

An hour later we are leaving the infirmary. I am ordered to stay off it for the next two days but I can still attend practices just no getting out of a chair. Since I already have the routine memorized that isn't a big deal. I was looking forward to going to the bar with everyone tonight but I need to let my leg rest. Passengers will be coming aboard in three days.

After a full day of meetings, training and finally dinner I have decided to stay in my room with a book tonight. No matter how much pleading and begging from Jose and Kate. I think a quiet night would be good for me. I have been reading for an hour. It feels good to just be in my yoga pants and a t-shirt, as much as I like to dress up I am the most comfortable like this or in jeans, a shirt and my converse. A knock at my door pulls me out of my book. Hobbling to the door on the crutches I open it and see a stunning Sawyer in his uniform. I don't know what it is about him in uniform, maybe it was the hundreds of times Ray made me watch Top Gun. He just looks amazing. "Hi Sawyer what are you doing down here in the depths of the boat?"

"I went to the bar after my meetings and I was hoping to see you but Kate said you got hurt and were staying in. Are you okay?"

"I just sprained my ankle, gravity and I don't always get along. It won this time and I got these awesome crutches as my parting gift."

"I brought you these to make you feel better." From behind his back he pulls out a plate with some chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of wine.

"Would you like to come in? Sorry my room isn't as big as yours but at least it is a single."

"Thank you"

Sawyer places the wine and strawberries on the dresser along with two red solo cups. Where was he hiding those? I hobble back over to the bed and lay the crutches against the wall. As soon as I turn back around, I am in Sawyers arms and he is kissing me so passionately. I haven't been able to stop thinking about Christian all day but this has done the trick.

"Wow, what was that for?" I squeak out.

"I woke up this morning and you were gone. I didn't get a chance to kiss you before you left."

"That is very sweet. I didn't want to overstay my welcome." I tell Sawyer while looking down at my feet. Sawyer sits on my bed and pulls me onto his lap.

"Ana look at me. Did I do something wrong? Do you want me to leave?" he questions.

"No, it's just I have never had a one night stand or slept with someone the first night I have met them… to be honest you are only the second person I have had sex with. I have heard from friends that you shouldn't ever assume that the guy wants you to stay so it is best to leave afterwards. Avoid the awkwardness the next morning. My roommate in college would always bring guys over and they would be hanging around the kitchen the next morning. I thought you would want me to leave."

"Ana, if I wanted you to leave I would have made sure you were gone before I fell asleep." I guess this is something he has done a lot. "Sorry that didn't come out right. I wanted you to stay." He is rubbing my back while kissing my neck.

"I want to believe you but we barely know each other." I whisper, although we have had sex so he does know more about me than most.

"What do you want to know?"

"I can't concentrate when you are kissing me."

"Do you want me to stop?" Sawyer is looking at me and I don't know what to say. I just shake my head. Sawyer pulls off my top. I guess he wasn't expecting me to be sans bra but I wasn't expecting to see anyone tonight. After several more minutes of kissing and my breasts being massaged, Sawyer asks me again if I want him to leave. I can feel his growing member under me and I am so turned on. I bite my lip and shake my head. Sawyer moves me farther up the bed and I in one move he has pulled my yoga pants down leaving me naked. As he crawls up my body he is leaving kisses as he goes. My skin is tingling. I don't know if it is because of the lack of alcohol but this feels different than last night. I wrap my arms around Sawyer and I continue to kiss and grind up against each other. We continue to kiss while I unbutton his uniform shirt and pull it off him. He pulls off his pants and boxers and I get a good look at him. His body is ripped; I was far too inebriated last night to fully enjoy this.

"I don't have any condoms in here." I don't know why I was embarrassed to admit this but I am.

"I don't want you to think I was being presumptuous but when I went to my room to get the wine I grabbed some. I was hoping not presuming." I believe this is the first time I have seen Sawyer blush.

"You are very cute when you blush. Grab 'em, I think your pants are on the floor." As he gets off the bed to grab his pants and I see him standing naked in my room I am thanking the recruiter for headhunting me. The thought of spending every day in an office sounds so boring compared to this adventure. Sawyer unrolls the condom on his very impressive dick. As he makes his way back up to me I try not to overthink and just enjoy these feelings. Sawyer sinks into me and looks into my eyes; the feeling of fullness is amazing. The more he moves, the more I move to meet him thrust for thrust. I feel my toes curling and my body starting to stiffen. Sawyer's hands are all over me and he is going deeper. I run my hands down his sculpted back and hold on to his hard ass. Just then I feel my body tightening and a feeling of euphoria envelops me. Then I seem to be falling back to my bed just as I feel Sawyer reach his release. Instead of jumping off me like Scott would do, I feel kisses all down my face. I open my eyes and Sawyer is wiping my tears.

"I'm sorry was I too rough? Why are you crying?" He asks genuinely concerned.

"It's nothing, it was amazing."

"Ana, has anyone ever told you that you are a horrible liar, what is wrong?" Sawyer pulls out of me and tosses the condom into the trash can. He opens the wine bottle with a wine opener on his pocket knife and pours us each a glass. He sits back on the bed with his back to the headboard and then pulls me into his lap and pulls the blanket over us. "Spill-... what's wrong sweet-heart? Was it me?"

"No, you have been amazing. We still haven't really talked that much but I like what we have been doing." Cue blush… gees it would be great if I could not embarrass myself. "You are still here."

"Would you like me to go?" He looks hurt.

"No, you misunderstand. My ex, he would pop up out of bed and leave a lot of the times when we were together. I already told you that he is the only other man that I have been with. In the five plus years we were together he never made me feel like you have. I don't want to scare you away. I am enjoying what we have it is just different."

"Good different?"

"Very good different, I am just not used to it. You say some of the sweetest things. I am just not used to this."

"Okay, what do you want to know about me?" That's a loaded question.

"What made you want to start working on a cruise ship?"

"I was in the Marines. I am used to being dressed in uniform." He wiggles his eyebrows; oops I think he figured out my secret. "After my second tour I got out. I was tired of so many friends dying. My boss here was my former commanding officer so when he found out I was getting out he offered me the job. Now I actually get to see some of the amazing places that we travel to."

"I have always wanted to travel. There are so many places I want to see and experience. I am so excited."

"I would love to show you some of those places. I have found some amazing beaches, restaurants and a few hidden gems not on tour guides list."

"I would appreciate that."

"Can I ask a question?" I nod my head.

"Why are you so shy? You are always looking down. You are a beautiful woman with brains to boot. You don't need to hide that amazing smile."

I don't know what to say. I don't want to go into details about Scott but I don't want to be one of those whiny women that are always talking about their exes. Sawyer is rubbing my back waiting for an answer.

"My ex, he wore me down. My dad put me in dance to help with my shyness when I was a kid. It helped and in high school I was pretty good about squishing the self-doubt. I guess over the years Scott would put me down. I didn't realize that his constant nit picking at me was tearing away the confidence I had built. When I found he was cheating on me with my best friend it kind of crushed me."

"Do you miss him?"

"No, now that I am away from him I can see what he did; his constant lies and belittling made it so I want nothing to do with him. I miss having my best friend that I could talk to. Tell anything and everything to. She was like a sister. Her betrayal hurts more than his."

"How about I'll be your friend that you can tell anything and everything too?" Ummm what did he say?

"Ana as much as I would love to say we will be together forever you just got out of a long abusive relationship."

"He never hit me!" I don't know why I am sticking up for the jerk.

"Sweetheart he didn't have to. Emotional abuse can be worse than physical abuse. The way he treated you was not right. How about we promise that no matter what happens between us I will have your back. We can still talk and we will always be friends."

"Do you have a lot of 'friends' like that onboard?" I question.

"Ana I am not going to lie and say I haven't slept with anyone else in the two years on this ship. However no I don't have anyone of them that I would call as friends either. It has always been more of an 'I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine' type of thing. I don't sleep with more than one person at a time if you are thinking that."

"Nobody seems to have real relationships on this boat." I muse.

"That's not true. You see what is out in front of you. The partying is what a lot of people want to do but not everyone. Some people have never stepped inside the bar; others are happily married with their spouse having a position in a different department on the crew. Some have families at home. Not everyone has mistresses. The captain has been happily married for twenty five years to a woman that was a waitress when he first started. We have hundreds of crew members, not everyone is at the bar every night. Some play music in their rooms, watch TV and some beautiful young ladies are in their rooms reading Thomas Hardy." Oops, he doesn't miss a thing.

"Okay, friends!"

"We should seal the deal with a kiss." With that we lose ourselves in each other. I don't know how long this will last but I want to enjoy every minute of it. Sawyer and I spend the next two nights the same way. Talking and learning about each other between rounds of mattress tag. I really like him. As much as I love spending my days with Kate and Jose, it is Sawyer who is helping me discover my confidence in myself.

It is the night before the passengers arrive. Apparently once the ship is completely cleared and prepared for tomorrow the crew gets to party tonight. This week was an off week where the ship was having some touch-ups before the beginning of the cruising season in the Mediterranean. Before I arrived they had a transatlantic cruise to end the South Florida-Bahamas-Mexico cruising season. The party has started and I have finally been cleared to lose the crutches. Jose, Kate and I are so excited to have a night of fun. Apparently they have missed me while I have been spending my evenings with Sawyer.

We eat, drink and dance for hours. As I am getting ready to tell them goodnight I am startled to see Christian walking towards me.

"Anastasia can I have this dance?" His smile makes me weak. Other than a passing glance at meetings I haven't seen him. I need to thank him.

"I would be honored." As we walk to the dance floor the music changes from Rihanna to something slower. Frank Sinatra's Stranger's in the Night starts to play. How fitting. Couples take over the dance floor but seem to be leaving plenty of room between themselves and Christian and me. I can feel a lot of eyes on me but I am mesmerized by Christian's so I don't look away. Christian is singing to the song but only so I can hear him. Who knew he could dance so well.

 _Strangers in the night exchanging glances_  
 _Wond'ring in the night_  
 _What were the chances_  
 _We'd be sharing love_  
 _Before the night was through_

 _Something in your eyes was so inviting_  
 _Something in your smile was so exciting_  
 _Something in my heart_  
 _Told me I must have you_

 _Strangers in the night, two lonely people_  
 _We were strangers in the night_  
 _Up to the moment_  
 _When we said our first hello_  
 _Little did we know_  
 _Love was just a glance away_  
 _A warm, embracing dance away and_

 _Ever since that night we've been together_  
 _Lovers at first sight, in love forever_  
 _It turned out so right_  
 _For strangers in the night_

 _Love was just a glance away_  
 _A warm, embracing dance away_

 _Ever since that night, we've been together_  
 _Lovers at first sight, in love forever_  
 _It turned out so right_  
 _For strangers in the night_

Wow talk about being swept off your feet. "Do you want to go for a walk?" Christian asks once the song has finished.

"I would love too." Christian and I walk for about ten minutes until we are in a beautiful arboretum.

"I have never been here. It is lovely."

"No alcohol is served in here so a lot of people don't visit it. I love the ocean, I always have, but this reminds me of my grandparent's farm. My grandmother had the most beautiful garden."

"Thank you for sharing it with me."

"I would love to share more." That gets my attention.

"I have heard that you don't date the entertainers and you have a chip on your shoulder but nobody knows why. Can you fill me in on the secret?"

Now that we have stopped dancing and we aren't under the bright lights it is starting to feel a little chilly. Christian must have noticed me shiver because he takes off his jacket and places it over my shoulders.

"Thank you" he pulls me on to one of the loungers and I sit astride him.

"I am not that big of a mystery, I have been on this boat for three years, since its refurbishment. Before that, I spent two years on another ship in the fleet. I started as a background singer and I quickly moved up to headlining. I was 19; I thought I had fallen in love. She was the first person I had let in for a very long time. She was in the ships musical. I thought everything was perfect but after a year we broke up. She was having an affair with the first officer. I had to see them everywhere I went. They eventually got engaged and I put in for a ships transfer. Once I got here I was just more discreet. Don't believe everything you hear, because I am usually busy, people think I am avoiding them. I like to party as much as the next person I just don't do it every night."

"So what are you so busy with?"

"Do you really want to know?" I am biting my lip and just nod.

"Come on I will show you" I follow Christian to one the opposite end of the ship where more of the passenger cabins are. We go through a white door with the words crew members only. Behind it are a couple dozen doors. Once we enter Christian's room I notice it is double the size of my room. A queen bed, a double long desk covered in books, a laptop and a keyboard. Piles of sheet music and even some had written music.

"You write music" it is more of an observation than a question. He just nods and pulls up a chair to the computer and places me on his lap. Not what I thought we would be doing but I am not complaining. His computer wakes up and that is when I notice that is on a website for a Master's degree in business. "You are going back to school?" I question, the thought of him leaving makes me sad.

"I am already in school. Originally, after the break up I started by taking a few classes to keep me busy. Over the last few years I got a Bachelor's degree in political Science. I am saving to start my own company."

"Your parents must be proud of you, you're very accomplished." I feel him tense under me. "What's wrong?"

"My parents, I haven't really spoken to them in years. I send the obligatory email with my ports of call but I haven't been home in years. My sister Mia and my brother Elliot are the only ones I really talk to." He seems so lost. I caress the side of his face and kiss him lightly on the cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"My siblings and I were all adopted. They were babies and I was with my...birth mother until she died when I was four. I remember more than any kid should. I never felt like I belonged. The reason I excel at the piano is because I would practice for hours to fit in with my perfect family. When puberty hit I got a lot of attention from girls but I couldn't be touched. I have scars on my chest and back from my early childhood."

"Are you okay with me on your lap?"

"Yes, my siblings helped me with my touch issues and once I get to know someone I am alright without my shirt on. I love it when you blush. I wish I knew what you were thinking but I can guess." Christian kisses down my neck.

"College was not something I wanted to do. I have always been good at school but it wasn't what I wanted to do. My father refused to give me my trust fund until I graduated. He wouldn't even listen to my business plan."

"Now that you have your degree couldn't you get your trust fund?"

"Yeah I could but I think most of it is sheer stubbornness. My mom has sent me emails trying to get me to come home and talk to my dad. I just can't do it. Mia and Elliot are the only ones that even know about my degree. I should have more than enough by the end of this contract. Technically even if I didn't, my trust fund automatically comes to me at 25."

"When is that?"

"My birthday is June 18, I will be 24 next month."

"We will have to find some special way to celebrate your birthday."

"How about a kiss?" he questions with that smile that makes me weak.

I run my hands over his shoulders and up his neck, his hair is so soft. I give him soft butterfly kisses over his jaw, when I reach his lips I nibble on his lip. He lets out a small groan. It gives me the courage to give him a deep kiss. We are all tongues and hands. I have never felt like this. I know I am turned on and I can feel that he is too. I don't want just one night with Christian.

When we come up for air I need to say something.

"Christian".

"Yes".

"I need to go." Chicken seriously, I need to go is the best you can do?

"Okay, I will walk you back to your room." I guess he doesn't care. I was reading too much into this.

"Also I wanted to thank you for the other day when you carried me to the infirmary to get my ankle checked. That was very sweet. You left before I had a chance to say thanks" I give him another kiss on the cheek. I get off his lap and watch as he tries to discreetly adjust himself. There is nothing discreet about that thing. I really should not be staring. I try to turn around to give him some semblance of privacy but he grabs my hand and pulls me against his chest.

"I don't know why you are running but I want to be with you. I will be patient. I can feel it and you want me too." Desire explodes throughout my body like a firework and I gasp, he is kissing me like it will be the last time we see each other. My hands are in his hair pulling him closer to me. He groans and it is the sexiest sound. His hands run down my body to the hem of my very short black sequin mini dress. His fingers are holding on to me. The kiss is hot and his tongue is exploring my mouth and I am stroking his.  
When he pulls away he is panting. I am losing my resolve. I don't know if I should say fuck it and have him or wait to see what could be.

"Christian I really like you, I don't know what you want but I don't want it to be another notch on your bed post."

"Is that why you are running out of here? You think I just want to fuck you out of my system? Anastasia, I have been thinking about you since we were waiting to get on the boat when you Kate and Jose were talking about me." That got my attention "you heard us?" I am mortified.

"Yes and I think you are amazing. I don't want to add another notch and if you look behind you, I don't even have a bed post."

"Ha ha funny, you know what I meant. I know I might scare you away but I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I would love to be with you. Can we take it slow; maybe go on a few dates?"

"That would be fine. I will go as slow as you need me to. Let's walk you to your room before I lose my determination."

"Thank you Christian" we walk hand in hand to my cabin. The stars and moon over Venice are beautiful. He gives me a hug and a few more soft kisses.

"I will see you tomorrow Baby!" I used to hate that pet name but it sounds so hot coming out of Christian's mouth. I need a cold shower. I wave and close my door. I dream of the most hypnotic gray eyes all night.

I wake up the next morning to a knock on my door. I wonder if it's Kate, Jose or both of them. To my surprise it is Sawyer. I let him in. Crap we were supposed to meet last night after the party.

"Hi, I'm so sorry about last night."

"Why? Didn't you and Christian have fun?"

"What? How? I'm sorry!" I feel like I am going to cry.

"Ana, what's wrong sweetheart? Why are you apologizing? I thought that was what you wanted."

"I am confused, how did you even know I liked him?"

"Sweetheart has anyone ever mentioned that you talk in your sleep?" Shit, what did I say?

"Don't worry I'm not upset. Christian is my best friend. The other night you fell asleep and started talking about copper curls and amazing eyes. I didn't know what you were talking about at first. Then I saw Christian at lunch and he was telling me about this beautiful girl that he had carried to the infirmary and that he couldn't get her out of his head. I asked if it was you and once he confirmed it I told him he should at least ask you to dance and see if your connection was as strong as he felt. He was worried about me but I assured him that we are friends more than anything and that I wanted you to be happy. I didn't tell him about your ex. Did he tell you about his?" I nod but I can't look up. "Ana we agreed friends first no matter what, remember? You both have similar trust issues and I think the two of you would be extraordinary together. I would rather you be happy with Christian than alone and upset. You can talk to me and I will keep your secrets." I jump up and give him the biggest hug.

"Thank you Sawyer, you really are my best friend. I was so upset I didn't want to lose our friendship. I'm sorry I was talking in my sleep about another man. Even if I was asleep that is just wrong."

"Hey, you said plenty about me so I am good!"

"What did I say? I will torture it out of you!" I try to tickle him but he picks me up and tickles me. I can't stop laughing. I am flaring around in his arms trying to get loose and unintentionally kick him in the balls. He crashes into the bed and is holding himself. I know I should not be laughing but if he had not picked me up it would not have happened. Another knock on the door, apparently I am popular this morning. I open it and Christian is standing in front of me looking so sexy. I am still laughing and I let him in. He sees Sawyer on the bed holding himself.

"Do I want to know what happened or do I need to kick his ass?" Christian gives me a quick peck as Sawyer sits up.

"I am the one with bruised balls and you want to kick my ass, really? What a great friend."

"What happened?" Christian helps Sawyer up and gives him one of those man hugs.

"Sorry to break up this bromance but I need to get ready for the day."

"We are taking you to breakfast." They state in unison. In no way did I think this is how my day would start.

"Okay you two wait in the hall I will be out in a few minutes."

"Really you are kicking us out?"

"Yes, now go!"

I can't stop laughing. Throughout breakfast Kate, Jose, Sawyer, Christian and I are talking. It is hilarious. The life on board is even more scandalous than I knew. I thought threesomes and mistresses were bad. Apparently the passengers are far worse. Some of the things the crew has seen are crazy. I am definitely not upset about missing the time a nudist colony rented out the boat. Meals were the only time that clothes were worn. From what I heard most of those people you did not want to be seeing naked. The entire ship had to be cleaned. Of course they didn't mention this until I had taken a sip of my juice. It was really attractive when I spat that all over the place.  
Throughout breakfast Christian had his arm around me. Every now and then, he would whisper something into my ear or little kisses on my cheek. I have never had this kind of relationship. It has only been a few hours and I feel our connection growing. I know Kate and Jose are dying to know what happened last night. Luckily for me they seem to have a little restraint. I am sure once we are alone all bets are off. After breakfast we all have to change and be ready for the passengers. The first day is a big party once everyone is checked-in and muster drill is completed.

The first three days went by in a flash. I never thought I would be using my linguistic skills to help a French woman on her divorce cruise, ordering blowjob shots in the bar or teach a class to foxtrot while only speaking Portuguese. I am enjoying every minute. I haven't had a chance to catch Christian's show but I am dying to. We have spent every night together but so far it has been talking, making out, some heavy petting and him holding me until we both fall asleep. I am dying to do more but I am also nervous.  
Tomorrow we both only have morning shows and have the rest of the day off. We will be arriving in Santorini Greece. I wasn't able to disembark in Croatia or Turkey but we will be doing this route a dozen more times before the ship changes home ports.

I am waiting at the crew elevators near Christian's cabin. I turn around and see a couple is staring at me. The woman with bleached hair is all in black and looks as though she's had far too much plastic surgery. The man looks like he is half her age. He has red hair that is in a long ponytail. He reminds me of a sleazy used car salesman. I can smell the cheap whiskey on him from here. I don't want to assume she is his mother. You never know. The way he is leering at me gives me the chills. "Excuse me, May I help you get back to the passenger's deck?"

"No, we are fine; we are looking for the crew bar?" The woman's voice is like nails on a chalkboard she is trying to sound sexy but it is all wrong.

"I'm sorry that is not possible. Passengers have some amazing bars and night clubs. Have you checked out the casino?"

"She could do? We could have fun with her and take turns; I have the whips and handcuffs in our room." Sleaze ball says to blonde Elvira. I don't like how either are looking at me. Where is Christian? I need a panic button or something.

Just then Christian walks over to me and wraps me in an embrace. I think he can tell that I am more than a little creeped out.

"Hello can I help you?" The way the botoxed grandma is looking Christian up and down is disgusting. She is eye fucking him and she just let out a moan. I think I am going to vomit.

"Yes my husband and I would like a turn with each of you, how much?" She purrs and tries to reach for Christian. I am more than a little disgusted. Christian reaches for my hand and tells them we will walk them to the elevator. We go down the corridor and out a door to the passenger area. He presses the up button on the elevator and escorts them in. As the doors are closing Christian mentions that employees are not for sale. He then moves to an onboard phone.

"Hello this is Christian Grey, please transfer me to security." After a moment he starts to talk to someone in security. "We have an issue with two passengers. They weren't wearing the passenger passes but I just escorted them to elevator 12 and they were going up. They propositioned me and my girlfriend. We will be waiting in my room." Girlfriend, he said girlfriend. I know I should be creeped out by what just happened but he called me his girlfriend.

"Come on Ana, security will be meeting us at my room and then we can go to Kamari Beach like I promised. Are you okay? They didn't hurt you did they?"

"You called me your girlfriend!?" I am sure I have the stupidest grin on my face.

"What else would I call you?" I reach up and caress his face and give him a far too brief but passionate kiss.

"Thank you for saving me from them. They were just weird. Have you had that happen before?"

"Unfortunately yes it happens all the time. We make sure to report it, so the security can pull the video. Remember, pretty much everywhere except cabins and bathrooms are videotaped. Some people have heard stories so they try to see what they can get away with. It only takes a few minutes to report. It is better safe than sorry. Chances are you won't see them again. We only have two and a half days left of this cruise."

We arrive at Christian's room at the same time as Sawyer. Christian explains what he saw and when I tell them what was said before he got there, I don't think I have ever seen two men so angry. I wouldn't mind trying a little bit of kink but no way in hell with those crazy passengers.

Christian and Sawyer have demanded that I need to be with someone for the next two days until they leave the ship. They both have full time jobs, it is not as if they can follow me while I do my job.

Once the official report is filed and Christian and I sign it, Sawyer gets ready to leave.

"If Christian is working and you get off I expect you to call me or someone from security to escort you. I don't want anything to happen to you." Sawyer gives me a big hug.

"Hey, get your paws off my girlfriend!"

Sawyer looks at me. "Does that mean it is official?"

"Yes now let her go" Christian snaps but you can tell he is smiling. Just then he throws a pillow at Sawyers head and a full-blown pillow fight starts between the two of them. I am glad that my relationship with Christian didn't damage their friendship.

We arrive on at Kamira beach, Christian walks me over to a secluded area hidden by large boulders. The sand is black from the Volcano that originally formed the island. Christian has arranged for a sun-bed and for dinner to be served. The traditional houses that line the village are stunning with the beautiful view of the sea in front of us.

"Christian this is beautiful! Thank you for bringing me here."

"I am so happy that I can share this with you"

"Have you been here often?" Christian lifts my chin and looks deep into my eyes.

"Yes, I have come a few times but always by myself. I wouldn't take you somewhere I took another woman. I might not date much but I know better than that."

"I'm sorry."

"Anastasia, stop apologizing. We have told each other about our pasts and we both want to be in each other's futures. I would rather you ask me than let your mind run away with crazy ideas."

I launch myself at him. "I don't know how I got so lucky, you are absolutely amazing."

I am straddling Christian and although we are outside and the sun is setting you can hear people in the distance.

"Do you know of any beaches that are completely secluded, maybe next time we can get some privacy?" I know I am blushing but I refuse to look away. I want Christian and I want him now.

"I think I can arrange that, do you want sex on the beach, up in the trees or a secluded island all for ourselves?"

He doesn't play fair, I am a quivering mess and there is nothing we can do until we get back to the ship. I am biting my lip, trying to think of something that we can do. "Christian when we get back to the boat do you want to have sex?"

"Is that a trick question? I have wanted you since I saw you. Just thinking about it is making me hard."

I move my hand down his stomach and into his board shorts. He feels so big, I am actually a little nervous. "Anastasia does that answer your question?" Christian flexes his hips and I then feel his hand sliding up my leg to my apex. He rolls me over onto my side so I can get a better grip of him while his fingers are tracing my panties. "I can feel how wet you are." His fingers trace back and forth until he rips them off me. That was incredibly hot. Christian pulls the towel up on the sun-bed to cover us and kisses me with such passion. I feel his thumb rubbing back and forth on my clit as he slowly inserts one finger. I slide my hand up and down his hard cock. I can feel the little bead of pre-cum and it turns me on that this Adonis wants me.

His mouth latches onto my ear and then goes down my neck. He inserts a second finger and I feel like my body is coming undone. The faster he moves his fingers, the faster I move my hand. I feel my legs start to tingle and then tighten.

"Oh please...!" I don't recognize the sounds coming out of me. If this man is this skillful with his fingers, I have no idea what will happen when we have sex. After pulling out his two fingers Christian places them in his mouth and sucks them clean.

"I can't wait to get a real taste tonight" Before I lose my courage I lower myself enough so I can place his ever growing cock in my mouth. I have never been a fan of doing this but I want to taste him. I lick him from base to tip while I play with his balls. I then take him all the way into my mouth. He tastes amazing. He is so hard but soft on the outside. His moans spur me on. I move back and forth so I can get him in my mouth all the way. I twirl my tongue around the tip a few more times. "Ana I am about to cum if you don't want it in your mouth..." I cut him off before he can say anymore; I push down deeper up to the tip then right back down. I scrape my nails up his thighs and feel it as he tenses. He lets out a guttural moan of my name. He is salty and thick and for the first time I swallow and the look on his face makes it worth it. I pull his shorts back up as he kisses me deeply.

We are under the stars and the only sounds are from the restaurants and clubs in the distance.

"That was magical. I have had the best time, Christian."

"Hey, No looking down or being ashamed, we did nothing wrong."

"Christian ... I am falling in Love with you! I know it is probably too soon but I can't help how I feel."

"Anastasia please look at me. I am falling in love with you too. How could I not feel the same? Let's get back to the boat. I need to make love to my girlfriend."

"Yes please!"

We make it back to Christian's room.

Somehow he has arranged for a bottle of champagne, chocolates, and little battery powered tea lights. I can't believe he did this for me.

"I know this is cheesy but I wanted our first time together to be special for you."

"Christian, you are the sweetest boyfriend ever." I take the initiative and push him on to his bed. He moans as I straddle him.

"Anastasia you are full of surprises." He runs his hands down my body, once he reaches the bottom of my dress he pulls it up and over my head. I am now straddling him naked.

"I believe one of us is wearing too much clothing." Christian pulls off his shirt and gently places my hand on his heart. I have seen his scars but this is the first time he is allowing me to touch him without a shirt as a barrier. I know this is still a big deal so I try not to cry. Christian flips us over and pulls off his pants. I haven't seen him naked before. He puts Michelangelo's David to shame with his broad shoulders, chiseled abs, lean stomach and muscular legs. Although all very impressive it is his rock hard cock and smoldering eyes that have my attention. As he crawls up the bed he kisses up my legs, nibbling and teasing as he goes. When he reaches my center, he pulls my legs closer to him while using his expert tongue to make my entire body quiver. His tongue is circling round and round on my clit and I don't think I can take anymore. I try not to scream because I know the walls are not thick but I can't hold it in any longer. The sensations are exquisite. Once I am coming down from the orgasmic high, I see Christian roll on a condom. I think he has somehow gotten bigger since the beach.

"Christian, I need you, make love to me." I sound sultry and needy. I want him so badly. He slowly moves up my body while kissing and nibbling, each breast gets extra attention. I don't know how it is possible for one man to be so sexy. He reaches my lips and nibbles some more. I run my hands up and down his back. I need him now. I wrap my legs around him in hopes of getting him to the goal. He very slowly sinks into me and I am in heaven. With each movement and thrust I feel closer to him. He is staring into my eyes. It is like our souls are connected. Time ceases to matter.

"Anastasia I am falling deeply and madly in love with you." His words are my undoing. I feel myself clench around him. A few more thrusts and he collapses on top of me. He rolls to his side and we are just staring at each other. I don't think I will ever get enough of him. We spend the rest of the night lost in each other. The passion that he exudes is palpable. Each night gets better and better.

I am so happy. It is the last full day on the cruise. The creepy couple has come to every one of my shows. Between Sawyer, Jose and Christian I am never alone.

Tonight is my last show. I had to fill in for one of the show girls in the burlesque show. She contracted a stomach bug. It is basically a sparkly bikini and lots of glitter lotion all over my body, no nudity or I think Christian would pop a gasket. After a forty-five minute show on the outdoor stage and a meet and greet with some of the diamond passengers I go to the back room to cover up. I am glad this isn't my daily outfit. I pull up some yoga pants and a shirt over the costume. I don't want to walk around the ship like this. Christian doesn't get off for another twenty minutes. Sawyer said he would meet me but he isn't here. He probably got held up.

I start walking but then decide to sit on one of the loungers and wait. The stars look beautiful. Most of the passengers are at the other shows and clubs. The farewell fireworks should be starting in an hour. The pool is empty.

"Look who we finally got by herself." My skin crawls when I hear that evil voice. Nothing good can come of this. I stand up as fast as possible just as I feel someone grab my hand.

"Let go of me!" I scream.

"Nobody will hear you." The smell of cheap whiskey and his disgusting cologne is making me sick. If that wasn't bad enough he licks the side of my face.

I twist quickly and elbow him in the nose and knee him in the groin. The botoxed bitch charges towards me and gets a hold of my hair. She is on top of me as I continue to scream. Where the hell is everyone? My shirt has ripped and she keeps punching at me.

"Now, now, my little pet you know you want to play. First, you will be punished you for what you did to Jack." This witch is crazier than I thought. I punch her in the face and push her off of me. She grabs my leg and I kick her on that botoxed face. I get her off me but I trip and fall in the pool. I hop out as fast as I can but I hurt all over. I need to get help. Christian's room is the closest; they have gotten into the crew area before, I don't want to take the chance waiting out in the open. I run to Christian's room and pound on the door. As soon as he opens the door everything goes dark.

"This is Christian Grey I need security and a doctor to my room now! Anastasia Steele was attacked. She got to my room and passed out, no I have no idea what happened. Just hurry!" I can hear Christian yelling for help.

"My knight" I whisper.

"Ana don't move, help is coming baby."

My entire body hurts. I am safe with Christian, he will protect me.

"Ana stay awake!" I hear pounding on the door and it flies open. How many people can they fit in here?

"Christian what happened?" I don't recognize that voice. I turn towards the voice but I am told to stay still while I am checked by the medic.

"Don't let them in here, Close the door!" I whisper terrified that they may have followed me. The medic checks me, I have yet again sprained my ankle but it doesn't look like anything is broken. I need to go to the infirmary for X-rays. I am bruised all over and my glittery costume has been ripped as well as the clothes I had over it.

"Ana what happened? I got called to break up some drunken passengers. I sent Trent to escort you but by the time he got to the stage he couldn't find anyone." Sawyer sounds so worried.

"I was sitting on a lounger waiting when I was attacked by that crazy couple. He licked me and wouldn't let go of me so I elbowed him and kneed him. His crazy wife then charged me and was punching me. I was screaming for help but nobody heard me. I fell into the pool trying to get away from her. I didn't know if they were following me or I would have called and stayed put. Can I get out of these clothes before we finish this? I am getting cold."

"Hello, Ana I am Jason Taylor the head of ship's security. Christian can you give Ana something to wear. We will need it for evidence. We also need to take pictures of all your injuries." Great I get attacked and now I need some random guy to see me naked and full of bruises. It is not my night.

The Taylor guy gets a call on his phone. "Okay, call in extra security. Do not let them leave the infirmary and pull up the camera footage from two hours ago to now. You will see a fight, have it confirmed that it is the same couple. I will be right there." What is going on?

"Ana, are you okay with Sawyer taking the pictures? If you would like I can have a woman security guard do it?"

"No, I am fine with Sawyer. I trust him. Is it okay if Christian stays in the room?"

"Yes that's fine."

"We need to let the Captain know what happened."

"Please Taylor, don't. This is my first cruise. I don't want to get in trouble." I am pleading. I don't want to be sent home.

"Ana we have to tell the captain, but you did nothing wrong. You will be fine, I promise. This ship is family. They won't get away with this." With that he leaves.

"Here baby take these two Tylenol. They will probably give you something stronger in the infirmary but this will help for now. I will give you my robe. You can change then Sawyer can take the pictures."

"Ana I need to take a few pictures before you change. It will only take a minute."

After several pictures that felt like I was a criminal I was given the okay to take a quick shower to get the chlorine off me and then more pictures. I guess the plus side is that Sawyer has already seen me naked.

In the shower the enormity of what happened hits me, and I sit on the floor and just cry. After a few minutes I hear Christian and Sawyer come in.

"Anastasia, are you alright?" Christian sounds scared. I guess I haven't thought how this has affected him. Christian turns off the water and wraps me in a towel. I see Sawyer walk out of the bathroom. "Baby I am here for you. I will not leave you alone. They will be removed from the ship." I can't stop crying. Christian dries me off then wraps the robe around me.

"Sweet-heart, I am so sorry. I feel like it is my fault. Once we catch them I will understand if you no longer want to be friends. I really let you down."

"Sawyer it isn't your fault or Christian's, it is only that crazy couple's fault. I'm sorry about my little meltdown. I just got scared and it all came back to me. I will be okay. It might take a few days and you guys might get sick of me."

Sawyer gives me a big hug and then Christian holds me for a moment and kisses the top of my head.

"We could never get sick of you baby."

We spend the next twenty minutes taking pictures of all my scrapes, cuts and bruises. I think more of my body is black and blue than white. While taking the pictures I swear I saw both Christian and Sawyer holding back tears. I don't want to look in the mirror.

Sawyer waits outside while Christian helps me get dressed. I think he needed a minute. I still can't put much weight on my leg so he is carrying me again.

"Baby, if you want me to carry you around the ship just ask next time." We meet Sawyer in the hall.

"Ana, I am so glad you could defend yourself."

"Me too, my dad was in the army and taught me to defend myself. I know how to shoot too, but obviously I don't carry a gun."

"Too bad!" Christian states and Sawyer agrees.

As we make our way to the infirmary, we see Taylor followed by several security guards run past us. They are going the opposite way of the infirmary.

"Christian, follow them please! I have a feeling this has something to do with my attackers." I can tell he and Sawyer are about to fight me on this. "Please, I won't be able to sleep knowing they are running around the ship. What if Taylor needs help."

"Christian, don't put Ana down and when I say so you need to take her the opposite way, go."

We follow behind and when we get to the middle of the ship we find the two crazy people in a life boat dangling off the side of the ship. The ship is coming to a stop and all the deck lights are on. I am not sure how they got the life boat to where it is but it is hanging precariously. Suddenly we hear a crash and the life boat is upside down. Though the night search and rescue team looked for the couple, they were not found. The Italian Coast Guard said that the area is full of sharks. They even have a good number of Great White shark sightings.

I feel bad for the sharks. They probably got food poisoning from that couple.

The camera footage was turned over to the Coast Guard. Apparently they somehow got away from security after making a statement that I attacked them. They didn't know that everything on the boat is recorded. When nobody believed them they attacked a nurse and a guard. Once their stateroom was searched it was full of hard drives with child pornography. The couple was wanted in the United States.

The Captain spoke to me while I was in the infirmary getting checked. He told me not to worry about my job; that I need to take the week off to give the bruises time to heal. He was very apologetic. Apparently he has a daughter my age and I remind him of her.

Christian has not left my side except when he has to perform and during that time I get to sit by my other shadow Sawyer.

I have been on this ship for two weeks and it has been full of adventures. I wonder what will happen next

* * *

 ** _****sorry it is so incredibly long. Trying to work with the prompt. Apparently life on a cruise ship is crazy._**


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